The last summer
by woopdeetah
Summary: It's the last summer before Ryan goes to university and his sister plans a road trip for her and her friends Ryan is suckered into coming as a ninth wheel but after some odd encounters with a certain wildcat he may not be as left out as he thinks he is.
1. Looking good Evans

**highschool musicals story and its actors do not in any way belong to me i am just useing them in my awsome kick ass story they belong to the evil empire that is disney etc. XD**

Why me I thought as I was abruptly woken by my sister at the ungodly hour of 7:00 in the morning. Ugh it's the summer as of yesterday and already I had to get up as if I was getting up for another day of school. I rolled over not looking at her but she was relentless in her effort of getting me up. Sometimes I wish that the family saying "an Evans never quits" could grant an acceptation every time Sharpay had some nefarious idea on how to spend her time.

"Ryan up" she yelled while pulling open the curtains that blocked out the bright as ever morning sunshine. "We are leaving at 7:30 everyone is already here"

"Shar please" I said into my pillow "why do I need to go I'll be left out of almost everything"

"No you won't ry I will see to that" she said now sitting on the end of my bed and although I couldn't see her face I knew she was using the puppy dog face "I don't want to spend my last summer before university without my brother"

"Shar" I said whining

"Please I'll be you best friend"

I sat up out form under my pillows and looked at her while giving her an over the top eye roll "shar I am your best friend"

"That you are" she said pulling the blanket off of me "now get dressed" and with that she made her way out of my room and back to the family room were apparently every one was waiting for me. I got up off my bed and looked at my cloths which sharpay had picked out for me thinking back on how I was suckered into going on this…trip. Stupid blue eyed man of my dreams.

It was two days before graduation and I was of Corse in my room as sharpay played host to the wild cat power couples of east high at leas that's the way I saw them but I'm sure the rest of the school agreed. Troy and Gabi were there as well as Chad and Taylor and who could forget Kelsey and Jason and on sharpays arm was zeke. I was also invited I mean its my house but if you can do the math there were four couples and I being single felt it was in no way shape or form my cup of tea to hang out with four different couples while I am alone with no one. Third wheel I've done it no problem even fifth wheel but no way would I ever be caught dead as a ninth wheel.

So I will keep my distance for now.

And don't get me wrong they are all my friends actually if you think about it they were my friend before they were sharpays but only when they weren't all together. I loved hitting the ball around with Chad every now and then and since I started going shopping with Gabi her wardrobe has improved and as far as Kelsey goes I would take a bullet for the little composer but the same cant be said for all of the wild cats. One in particular I knew didn't like me all that well.

Troy Bolton…lets just say since last summer he has never liked me all that much what with him thinking I was trying to steal his girlfriend. after that we just didn't see eye to eye about anything at times it seemed like he would disagree with me just for the sake of knowing that everyone would back him up because hello he is troy Bolton….

But if only he knew, If only he knew the truth about me and the many nights I had spent with my hand thinking about him. I don't know weather he would be grossed out that I was thinking of him in that way or if he would be relieved that he was wrong and that I don't in fact have a crush on Gabi. Odds point to the first scenario like I said before its troy Bolton Mr. perfect if he ever thought he was in the wrong one if his friends would see to it that feeling wouldn't last long.

I would have been glad to coop myself up in my room for the rest of the day but my stomach wouldn't have it. I knew getting to the kitchen I would have to make an appearance which was the last thing I wanted but I was actually beginning to get hungry it was 6:30 and I hadn't eaten since breakfast. So I made my way down to the kitchen.

I walked passed the family room expecting to find a gaggle of lovey dovey couples spooning but I instead found it empty. Ha maybe luck took them to another part of the house. As I walked down the hall to the kitchen I began to hear voices. Great they pick the kitchen to have there love fest. I stopped outside the door and braced my self for the humiliation of walking into a mating room before pushing the door open.

As usual I over reacted about what I was going to find the ground doing. For some reason I have it in my head that I will one day find the eight of them having some sort of orgy but I know it will never happen. The group was sitting around the very unnecessarily large island. Sharpay was sitting on zekes lap and Chad was sitting on the counter… typical but what I found to be the oddest thing is the golden couple themselves were on opposite ends of the counter and troy was sitting with a child's pout on his face. I couldn't help but find it a little funny.

"Hey Ryan" Gabi said getting up and heading towards me and launching herself at me for a hug.

That caught me a little of guard but what didn't was the glare I caught from troy while doing so. I bit my lip and then mouthed the words sorry to troy who responded with a look of confusion. I'm no idiot I know full well he and Gabi had gotten into an argument about something and she was now hugging me to make troy feel jealous well I wasn't going to give her the satisfaction so any way I could let troy know I was not interested I was going to take it.

"I'm so existed for the trip aren't you?" she said pulling away from the hug.

Now I was the one confused "what trip?" I asked looking at sharpay

"See ry that's why when I say I am having everyone over you should make an appearance so you are in the loop about our summer plans" sharpay said

"Ok so fill me in "

"Ok" she said getting up from zekes lap "so this is like the last time we will ever spend the summer together" she said dramatically

"It will also be the first" Chad chimed it

"Shut it danforth" she said pointing the palm of her hand in Chad's direction "anyway so I was thinking I would host a road trip with daddy's Winnebago for all of us" she then said excitedly

I was a little shocked by that and didn't say anything for a few seconds she couldn't be serious. I couldn't help myself as I let out a loud honk of a laugh earning some hurt looks from everyone.

"I'm sorry but are you kidding sharpay you wont get on a plane if you don't have the hole row booked and you are willing to spend you're summer with seven other people on a bus?" I was nearly shaking with how funny I thought the idea of sharpay on that bus would be.

"What do you mean seven Ryan" she said all joking aside

"You and zeke plus the other married couples" I said as if it was obvious

"Uh Ryan you're coming to"

My jaw dropped was she serious like was the being legit wow as if this day couldn't get any more funny "your hilarious shar"

" Ryan I'm being serious it would mean the world to me of you came I cant spend my last summer before we all go away without you with me especially science you are going to be all the way in California and I'm goanna be at u of a"

"Ok but I can't spend my last summer with for lack of a better word….you" I said gestureing my hands at all of them

"Is there something wrong with us?" troy asked accusingly

" simple minded person asks a simple minded question… no but take a second and count troy with your fingers if its easier I'm the odd mad out and I'd rather not have to spend my summer as a ninth wheel" I said bluntly.

Troy didn't respond but instead turned away and mumbled something.

"Well can you at least think about it?" sharpay said smiling weakly

"Sure" I said… LIE not a chance was I going on this trip I was going to do what I always did spend the summer on a lounger at lava springs reading a good book.

"Ok great" she said enthusiastically "I'm going to the pool… coming ladies?"

"Count me in" said Taylor following sharpay out of the kitchen with the rest of the girls all of the boys followed to and I made my way to the refrigerator to get my hungry stomach something to eat. Lets see I thought to myself as I browsed threw the fridge "lettuce tomato onions green pepper black olives and ….. Ah feta cheese the Greek gods would be proud "I said to myself, someone behind me let out a small giggle. I turned around quickly to see who it was and found troy sitting the same spot as he had been the whole time snickering at me.

"Can I help you" I said putting my salad stuff on the counter and walking to the drawer for a knife.

"No" he said now taping his fingers on the counter top. He has such cute fingers.

"Then why are you still here?" I asked

"I don't feel much like swimming" he said plainly

"I see well... do you feel like dicing?" I asked sliding a second knife across the counter followed by tossing him a bell pepper.

"I think you should go" troy said completely out of left field

"You know I shouldn't be surprised that you yet again disagree with something that I think but I am" I said shaking my head in disbelief "I'll bite why do you think I should come?"

"I wish you wouldn't talk to me like I'm stupid" he said. I looked at him expecting to see an angry glare but instead was met by troy hanging his head with a look of hurt spread across his face.

I was a little surprised troy even cared what I thought I mean I always felt bad when he would chirp me but that was because I have a crush on him but I never expected for troy to care.

"I'm sorry… but it's not like you haven't said stuff to me" I said feeling a little embarrassed

"I'm sorry to" he said beginning to cut the pepper "we're both going to Berkley" he then said looking up at me

"Uh yeah" god why did troy have to jump back and forth so much "what's your point?"

" well I was thinking maybe if you want we could get to know each other" he said " I mean Gabi is going to be at Stanford and its close but even then I don't know how much I will be seeing her and it would be nice to have a friend and … maybe even a roommate?"

"You … you would want to be my ...roommate?" I said nervously. Oh my how I would like to bunk with you troy Bolton.

"Yeah I mean it's always nice to have a friend someone you know to hang around" troy said nonchalantly

" I don't know troy I mean I already feel awkward just standing here with you guys a road trip with everyone constantly in everyone's biz is not really my idea of a great time" I said honestly but at the same time liking the idea of this trip more and more. Something about troy's voice makes things sound better in my ears.

"Just think about it ry" he said. Wait … did he just call me ry? Well well maybe he doesn't hate me as much as I thought.

God I thought I had good will power but clearly all it took for me to cave was troy Bolton to tell me what a great idea it was. Darn you wild cat….

I found myself standing in front of my mirror in nothing but small red underwear you know the kind that every gay man seems to own just to show that they are in fact gay looking at my self. Call me vain but I knew I was good looking I mean not as hot as troy but decent. I know I could date if wanted to but what's the point in dating when I can't share it with the world like I could if it were with a girl the thought of it alone kept me from trying.

A not so subtle cough came from behind me and I turned to find troy standing in my door way " I'm here to grab your luggage" he said smiling

"Oh yeah it's um in the closet" I said blushing a deep shade of scarlet

Troy made his way wordlessly to my closet and retrieved my stuff and then pulled it across the room to the door before turning around " looking good Evans" he said with a wink before walking out

My eyes widened as the gorgeous brunet left my room.

* this is my second HSM story and i allready like it better then my first i ahve big plans for this oneso i hope you all like it as much as i do. so plez read and review :D...


	2. The question is

**highschool musicals story and its actors do not in any way belong to me i am just useing them in my awsome kick ass story they belong to the evil empire that is disney etc. XD**

"Ok so the driving schedule is as followed" I heard sharpay barking as I walked threw the front door to our large drive way. "Zeke will be driving from now till we reach Santa fe then troy will drive till we get to the border then Chad…"

"How come we are doing all the driving?" Chad said loading more bags into the luggage compartment

"Well zeke is doing all my driving" she said smiling at zeke "and aside from him only you Jason and troy know how to drive"

"What about Ryan?" Chad then asked

"Ryan doesn't drive a car Chad" said troy coming from the inside of the bus "he drives a scooter"

I was kind of shocked that troy had noticed I mean not that I had a problem or anything but lately as in the last few days leading up to the trip troy had acted completely different towards me. There was no longer any banter between the two of us and every time Gabi and I talked he didn't glare at me as if I had killed his kitten. I would even go as far to say he was flirting with me a lot of the time but that would just be my hopes getting the best of me. None the less I liked this change and not just because I was completely crushing on the guy but just the idea of calling him a friend comforted me.

" oh right I forgot well as long as I'm not drive for at least three hours I'm fine" Chad said grabbing a hold of Taylors hand.

"So we ready to go then?" Jason asked carrying a cooler towards the bus

"I made sandwiches for lunch" Kelsey said

"Yeah I think we are good to go" troy said leading the rest of the group onto the bus.

"Claim your bunks" sharpay yelled at the group rushing onto the Winnebago "me and zeke get the master at the back"

I waited for everyone else to get on before I followed. The bus was much nicer then most it was custom made by my father and there for everything in it was personalized but with me and shar growing up we stopped using it to go to Colorado on are camping trips. Its not that we didn't like it it's just that well…sharpay didn't like it which left my flabbergasted as to why she wanted to travel across the country in it. The main area had a long leather couch on one side and a small coffee table and comfy leather chairs on the other. A little further back there was a dining table and a full kitchen. Past that was a door leading off to the small bath room and along that hallway were two sets of bunk beds lining each wall followed by a door leading to a bed room. And at the front was a door leading to what my dad would call the cock pit which was his airplane terminology for driver's seat and passenger seat. And that passenger seat was were I was going to be spending most of this trip for it was the only place I could go to get away from the group.

Kelsey took the bottom bunk closest to the bath room and Jason hoped on the top bunk right above her. Chad and Taylor grabbed the ones opposite them and Gabi took one of the top bunks closer to the back. I walked past then to the bottom bunk opposite hers and dropped my carry on bag. Troy instead of taking the top bunk also took the bottom which was right across from me.

"Hey" he said sitting down on his bunk and giving me his patented crooked smile.

It was times like this that I felt that troy was definitely flirting. The smiles he constantly sent my way and the things he said just made my heart melt. And was I wrong to think that he was in fact flirting? I mean I am no dummy but I'm pretty sure troy had just called me hot up in my room about ten minutes ago. What could he have meant by "looking good Evans" I mean was he just saying it as a dirty joke or did he seriously think I looked good? … what no not a chance I mean he is troy Bolton for gods sake basket ball star golden boy of east high dating golden girl of east high there was no way that troy had any feelings whatsoever in what he had said, it was probably him just joking. But of Corse It didn't hurt to wish.

"Hello earth to Ryan… you there" I heard troy say while putting his hand on my shoulder.

"What…" I said snapping back to reality

"I said what's in your pack?"

"Oh yeah my back pack" I said taping my hand lightly on it "books" I then said simply.

"Books?" troy said "what kind of books?"

Really you're asking me about books? None the less a conversation about books with troy is better then none at all.

"just a few I wanted to get around to reading" I said nonchalantly " I mean we are going to be driving a lot and I might as well have something to do with my time"

"I hadn't even thought of that" troy said.

For some reason that didn't surprise me.

"Maybe I'll borrow one of yours" he then said smiling.

"I didn't know you read" I said trying to stifle my surprise

"What because I play basket ball I can't read?" he said getting defensive "because I'm cool and popular and looked up to I must be stupid?" he was beginning to get angry and my face got warm. Shit so much for things looking sunny side up for me and troy.

"No that's not what I…" I tried to say before getting cut off.

"Ry I'm just kidding" he said now smiling and laughing a little

"Oh" I said a little relieved

"So I guess you're not into partying eh?" he said.

"Not entirely no" I said

He Stood up and moved over to my buck and sat next to me moving back to lean against the wall and then put his feet up on his bunk " to tell you the truth neither am I, I mean I might have a few drinks but the only reason I am hear is because Gabi wanted me to come"

I looked to the front of the bus to see everyone laughing and talking away just to make sure that no one was listening. I don't know why I did it but a big part of me felt that Gabi wouldn't like hearing troy say that and knowing that both Taylor and Kelsey would report anything they hear back to her made privacy even more impossible. Another part of me didn't even know why he was telling me this I mean we weren't even really friends if you thought about it I mean wouldn't he be more into like telling Chad or Jason or zeke?

"Well at least your here with someone" I said smiling weakly at him.

"Yeah I'm glad your here with me" and with that he got up and headed to the front of the bus to join the others.

That wasn't exactly what I meant when I said at least he was here with someone. Obviously I meant Gabi and I think he knew that to which just made me question there relationship and how much troy was really in it. But no way was I opening that can of worms at least not while I was cramped on this bus.

Not long after that zeke got behind the wheel and we found ourselves riding down the highway. Like I had said I soon enough I was sitting in the passenger seat with a book. Zeke was listening to his I pod so it was pretty quiet just the way I liked it. To bad I couldn't read because of the thoughts that where swimming in my head. Ok so clearly from what I had gathered talking to troy he was really interested in being my friend maybe a little to interested, another thing was that troy like me didn't really want to be on this trip. At least we have something in common it sort of made me wonder if maybe we had more in common then I thought, I mean clearly his relationship with Gabi was on the rocks and that could always mean something maybe she wasn't as sweet and innocent as I thought. ….. No that's not right I shouldn't be thinking like that I love Gabi and since when did my crush on troy become an evil vendetta against her. I definitely needed to stop thinking about troy.

The hour and a half passed more quickly then I thought to get to Santa Fe and of Corse I was still on the first page of the book I had pretty much forgotten about the second I started to read it. Zeke let out a sigh of relief as he pulled into a gas station.

"Free at last from this damn steering wheel" he said happily getting up and joining the others in going outside. I on the other hand stayed put I had no interest in joining the happy couples.

"Ry we're going into the store to get snacks do you want anything?" Kelsey said sticking her head into the cock pit.

"uh anything chocolate would be nice" I said smiling up at her. She winked and then followed the rest out of the bus.

"Are you coming?" I heard Gabi say from the back of the bus.

"Naw I think I am just going to hang out with Ryan" Tory said

"Troy I get that you didn't really want to come but you can at least make an effort to have fun with us" she said clearly angry.

"What about Ryan he is here alone with no one to hang out with doesn't he deserve to have fun" troy said in the same tone as his girlfriend.

"Ryan knows full well he can hang out and have a good time with the rest of us but he is the one choosing to sulk in the front seat" she said.

Ok….bitch! First of all I wasn't sulking I was reading….kind of

"Did you ever stop to think that maybe Ryan feels a little awkward hanging out with four couples?" Troy said taking the words right out of my mouth.

"So your going to hang out with him and leave me to be alone that seems hardly fair" she pouted

"No not all the time, but for now I think you can go into a seven eleven without me and not die of loneliness" he said dryly

I could hardly stop my self from laughing as Gabi turned around and stomped off the bus. Now it was time for me to make my appearance. I got up from my seat discarding my book and made my way back to my bunk and sat down. I didn't realized at first how close my bunk actually was to troy's and I began to think of how close that meant I would be sleeping to troy.

"Thanks for defending me troy but you should have gone with her" I said shrugging

"Nonsense why would I do that when I could have you all to my self" he said smiling. I blushed and decided to lie down on my bed hoping troy didn't see my red face I didn't really know how to respond to that I mean it was definitely flirting.

"I'm flattered" I said sarcastically even though it wasn't the way I wanted to say it.

"Is it getting me anywhere?" he then asked turning to look at me

"The question is" I said looking back at him. "Are you flattering the right person?"

Our eyes locked and it felt so personal like he was pouring his heart out to me with just a simple eye gesture. He sat up and leaned closer to my bunk never breaking eye contact with me as he got closer to my face.

"The follow up question being do I even want to flatter her any more?" he said in a much softer tone.

That was all I had to hear" troy why are you telling me this?" I said breaking eye contact and jumping from the bed.

"I don't know I needed to tell someone" he said following me to the couch

"Why me wouldn't you rather tell one of your friends?" I said turning away

" you are my friend Ryan" he said getting up and sitting on the other side of the couch to look at my face which I could just as easily turned to look the other way.

"What about Chad or Jason or zeke?" I said shaking my head

"Chad is so caught up in having everything as it should be if I ever told him I didn't like Gabi anymore he wouldn't listen to the reasons why he would try to find a solution and fix the problem so everything would be perfect again" troy said

" so what am I then" I asked glaring at him "because you know full well that when it comes down to it Gabi is one of my best friends and I would never want to see her get hurt"

"And what I mean nothing to you" he said a little hurt by what I had said.

"this isn't about me troy this is about you and Gabi why you would even care how I feel is beyond me" I said not believing what I was hearing "and further more we are barely even friends troy I mean yeah lately we have gotten closer but can you honestly say if it were me in your shoes that you would care at all?"

Troy didn't say anything and I took his silence as an opportunity to go back to the cock pit to read my book.

"More then you would think" he said sadly.

I stopped in my tracks and turned around to look at him" really?" I said it being about the only word I could think of to which he responded with a nod and smile. "Do you mind if I keep you company on the drive then?"

"I'd be delighted" he said

Seconds later Gabi and the rest of the girls erupted into the car with bags filled with snacks "hey Ryan would you mind if I sat in the passenger seat with troy?" she said smiling. My smile was fake as I nodded at her. Truth be told after that scene I really was beginning to question weather she was as sweet and innocent as she seemed then again she was with troy and if it were me I would fight tooth and nail to keep him.

I quickly grabbed my book and made my way to the couch where I got a what the fuck look from troy. Clearly he was looking forward to driving with me.

"Pick your battles troy" I said leaning over towards him so no one else would hear. "Me saying no to that is something neither one of us wants to explain"

Troy shrugged "we always have the rest of the summer"

"That's the sprit" I said in mock joy which only caused him to laugh.

A/N

wow i didentthink i would get two chapters done in two nights but there it is i hope you all liked the flirting in this one i sure liked writeing it. so yeah the next chapter will gat a little bit more of that. untill next time read and review :D


	3. Hot and cold

**highschool musicals story and its actors do not in any way belong to me i am just useing them in my awsome kick ass story they belong to the evil empire that is disney etc. XD**

It took a little over eight hours to get to Denver which I had surprisingly spent with the group that was constantly changing as we went. As was the agreement troy drove till we entered Colorado and then Chad took over till be got to Colorado Springs leaving Jason to drive the final stretch. And now we where in some go knows where camp sight just outside Denver. I think a huge part of why I had such a great time with the group was because it was constantly changing first troy and Gabi did there time which Gabi backed out of about thirty minutes into complaining clearly they Had had an argument. Then after that Chad drove to Colorado springs and Taylor decided not to join him in driving so I didn't fell so much like the odd men out and the same went with Jason and Kelsey so over all they really were trying to help me fit in.

As for the troy Gabi argument troy didn't say anything about it once he was finished driving not that he said anything at all. But what I found a little bit strange is that I kept catching him glancing at me and it wasn't just a normal glance it was like a soul searching glance like he was really intensely looking for a sign. A sign to what though? All I figured was that he probably wanted to talk, I know that shouldn't make me feel special seeing as how he only wanted to talk to me because he hadn't told anyone else about how he really feels about Gabi but it did it made me feel really special.

I couldn't believe all that time had passed since me and troy had talked earlier in the day it seemed like it had just happened but the clock said otherwise. Once we had gotten to are destination and paid for are lot everyone got to work doing the jobs sharpay designated for them. Gabi and the rest of the girls put away some stuff in the bus and made the beds. While the guys looked for firewood and set up camping chairs. I was one of the chair and table builders so it was no shock that troy also stuck around to help.

I was really beginning to wonder about this boy I mean he went form hating my guts to being my friend to flirting with me. Was he flirting or just joking? I mean I would love if he was but that would mean some stuff and by stuff I mean that would make troy… not straight. The thought of troy being not straight made my heard beat faster. Could that be what it was why he didn't like Gabi anymore why he was flirting with me and why he would constantly give me the sweet and almost lust filled looks?

"Penny for you thoughts?" he said once again snapping me out of my daze

"Ewe no maybe a bill" I responded smiling at him

"I have" he said reaching into his pocket "two tokens from the arcade in down town Albuquerque"

"How can I pass that up it" I said holding out my hand to take the tokens

He dropped one into my hand and smiled at me using his hand to close mine

"I'm saving this one for another time" he said standing closer to me his hand still over mine. For a minute I found my self engulfed in his eyes his beautiful blue gaze which he threw right back at me. his facial expression said everything I needed to know and that was that clearly there was something more between us then we thought but for now this had to end there was no was I was going to get caught in this awkward position. I quickly pulled away and went to grab another chair to unfold.

"So about that thought?" he said clearly drawing the same conclusion as me.

"Yeah um I was just thinking about… why you told me all that stuff earlier"

"I needed someone to talk to ... I thought we already discussed this" he said shrugging

"Yeah but why of everyone one else on that bus did you talk to me?" I was starting to get a little impatient I mean the mixed signals were crazy and like I said obviously there was something between us so why he was beating around the bush and avoiding the question was beginning to irk me a little bit.

"I needed someone on the outside of things someone who might understand more then everyone else would because they are all on the inside of it" she said now sitting in a chair he unfolded

"I guess that makes since "I said sitting down "speaking of all that stuff what was the last fight about?"

"I was driving and she wanted to talk" he said rolling his eyes

"Are you even trying to make it work?" I asked him shaking my head

"Not really no but that's just because I don't want to make it work I really see no point in staying with someone who I don't have feelings for anymore we are growing apart and growing up"

"I guess it just sucks that you realize this the day you decide to go on a road trip with her" I said pointing out the sad irony of the situation

"Ha … no I already knew before I came on this trip" he said laughing

"So why come at all then?" I asked "because what you said earlier about how you only came for Gabi was obviously bull"

"You really want to know the real reason?" he said and I nodded "I wanted to come to hang out with you Ryan to get to know you because I feel like I never gave you a fair shot to begin with"

I blushed at this and turned my head as not have to meet another one of his heart melting gazes.

"That's really nice" I finally said turning back to look at him "I guess I'm sort of a silver lining what with you giving up u of a to go to Berkley to be closer to her"

"Not really he said shrugging once again. My heart sank into my chest clearly I pushed my luck with that comment what would possess me to think that "your better then a silver lining" he then said smiling at me.

Did he really just say that?

"Ryan I want to tell you something I…"

"Guys what you want for dinner?" came Taylor standing at the door of the Winnebago looking over at us

"What ever is good for you" I said smiling at her but inside I was calling her every name in the book for interrupting what troy was about to say

"I've sort of lost my apatite" troy said getting to his face and shrugging.

Taylor gave him and odd look before also shrugging and going back inside

"Ok what was that all about?" I said

"Nothing" he snapped getting to his feet "I'm goanna go find the guys"

Ok where did that come from I didn't do anything and he just treated me like I wasn't even alive. Talk about hot and cold, whatever I don't need to deal with a mood swingy straight boy right now. But I wonder what it was that he wanted to tell me. What ever it was I was in no mood find out now.

Troy didn't talk to me for the rest of the night but instead kept his distance sitting next to Gabi and occasionally kissing her when she didn't expect it. I don't know what it was but every time he did kiss her he came out of it as if it sickened him like it felt wrong or something but that certainly never stopped him from doing it again and responding with the same expression. God this boy was a mystery one Minuit he is talking to me and what seems like flirting and the next he is glaring daggers at me across a camp fire and sticking his tong down his girlfriend's throat.

After one to many beers I found my self stumbling into the bus to go to the bath room and after that I was in no shape to be going outside to drink some more so I jumped onto my bunk and just lay there fully clothed.

"Aren't you going to take off your shoes before you pass out?"

God why every time I find myself alone in contemplation troy Bolton the enigma comes and talks to me " what your talking to me now?"

"I didn't know we weren't talking he said leaning over to look at me

"So I guess you just snap and storm out on all of your friends for doing absolutely nothing" I retorted. I was not about to let troy sweet talk me again.

Troy laughed a little before moving down the little hall and began removing my shoes. What the hell was he doing? Why in the world was he taking off my shoes? I mean not that I didn't like troy taking care of me in my drunken state but he was definitely crossing boundaries I wasn't comfortable with him crossing.

"Can you stop that please?" I said bluntly

"I don't want you sleeping with your shoes on" he said just as blunt

"Since when have you cared about what's best for me troy?"

"This again really?" he said standing up fully and crossing his arms "Ryan about earlier I'm sorry I snapped I just have a lot on my mind and I was mad at myself for unloading on you making my problems your problems"

"Well there was no need for it I didn't do anything and you made me feel like shit all night" I said angrier then I was showing.

Troy frowned and did the one thing I was not excepting. Troy sat down on my bunk and began to sob into his hands

"What's wrong?" I said sitting up and putting an arm around him.

" I just feel trapped like god why did I come on this trip why did I think even trying to make things work was a good idea?" he cried now into my shoulder.

"It's not as complicated as your making it "I said rubbing his back.

"You don't know the half of it"

"Well I'll always be here to talk and to hang out with I'm more alone then anyone most of the time" I said smiling weakly at him

He returned the smile and wiped his eyes "god I wish I had given you a chance so ling ago instead of treating you like shit you an awesome guy" he said resting his head on my shoulder "thanks for being there"

"No problem and as for not giving me a chance before there's always September like you said you need a room mate" I said smiling

"Are you serious?" troy said getting to his feet and then grabbing my hand and pulling me to mine. Troy then got down on one knee and grabbed my hand. I began to feel a little awkward. "Ryan Evans I know I didn't see eye to eye before and we had differences" he said laughing as he did so "but these last few days have opened up my eyes to how awesome of a person you really are Ryan will you be my room mate?"

"I'd love to" I said putting my hand over my heart. Troy stood up and grabbed me around the waste and took me into a bear hug.

"You have made me the happiest soon to be freshman in the world" he said laughing at the humorous situation. He then picked me up and twirled me around.

Are eyes connected and he stopped twirling me but still kept his arms around my waste as we just looked into each others eyes.

"Bed?" I said after who knows how long of stand there looking at his eyes.

Troy let go of me and smiled "yeah I'm beat you as tired as I am?" he said taking off his shirt and dropping it beside his bunk. I couldn't help but stair at troy's chest. It could well be the eighth wonder of the world as far as I'm concerned. He was perfectly chiseled and tanned the only hair was a trail of dark brown leading down his pants which he just as quickly digaurded from his body. He was wearing tight white boxer briefs over his muscular legs and manhood which as far as I could see left quite a bulge.

"Are you just going to stand there or are you goanna go to bed?" troy asked snapping me out of yet another daze

I nodded and then made my way to my bunk. Troy got into his and pulled his covers up and I shed my cloths down to my little red underwear and quickly got under my covers.

"Good night Ryan" troy said yawning

"Night troy" I said just staring at the beautiful by in the bed beside me.

A/N

ok so awsome chapter right? i had writen it with alot more flirting but ryan is not suposed to quite knowthat troy is gay yet sothat ouhter stff will have to wait. next chapter is going to be fun cause the group goes on a hike and also this story so far has really on gone into troy ryan and i want to spread out the wild cat live and focous on other people as well so there will be morte plot for the others come as well. another thisis i am really likeing writeingin first person it feels better then 3rd and the chapters seem to be longer then anything i wrote for my other story. anyway i hopeyou all enjoyed and read and review :D


	4. Tempted

**highschool musicals story and its actors do not in any way belong to me i am just useing them in my awsome kick ass story they belong to the evil empire that is disney etc. XD**

I woke up to ocean blue eyes staring back at me from troy's bunk. Troy let out a smile so captivating that I couldn't help but smile back. Last night seemed like a blur like it didn't happen. Had he really been flirting with me had he really pretended to propose to me? The thought of it made me laugh a little.

"What's so funny?" he asked

"You purposed to me last night" I said giggling harder.

"And I would id it again" he said completely serious now.

Did he really just say that? He couldn't be serious I mean could he? "What do you mean?" I asked never taking my eyes off of his my cheeks began to get warm. He didn't answer but continued to look at me with his beautiful eyes. "Troy tell me what meant" I said hoping that I had just heard him incorrectly because I was still a little bit tired.

"I think id rather show you" he wisped getting from under his blankets and coming to my bunk. Troy climbed on top of me and began straddling me. I could feel the heat radiating form his body between my blankets. I could hardly say anything. Was this really happening was troy really sitting on top of me in nothing but his underwear. Troy dipped his head so it got closer to mine "I've wanted to do this for a long time" he said as he placed his lips to mine and engulfed me in a passionate kiss. I didn't know what to do I knew this was wrong I knew that Gabi could wake up any second and catch us in the act but on the other had this is something I had dreamed about for so long and the only thing I wanted to do was take him right here in my bunk.

"I love you Ryan" he said breathing heavily coming out of the kiss "I love you so much"

"I love you to troy" I said also short of breath.

Troy gave me his patented crooked smile " there are far to many blankets between us" he said and in one quick motion troy was lying beside me under the covers of my bunk legs intertwined and our lips connected once again. This time the kiss became more heated as he ran is tong over my lips begging for entry which I gladly obliged. Our tongs wrestled for dominance over each other while troy's hands wandered all over my body. Once his hands griped my butt he began to remove my underwear and grab a tighter grip of my bare ass.

"You belong to me" he said possessively as he began trailing kisses down my neck and collar bone "all mine"

"All yours" I moaned sokeing in the bliss of his kisses.

"I want you forever" troy said.

"I thought you wanted me forever" Gabi said standing at the door of the Winnebago crying. Oh no this can't be happening it can't happen like this. I closed my eyes wishing it would all go away.

I woke up in my bunk breathing heavily shocked by the lifelike dream I had just had. God I thought that had actually happened it felt so real me and troy together like I was actually kissing him actually touching him and when Gabi walked threw the door I thought we had actually been caught which made me all the more happier it was a dream and not reality.

"Good morning sunshine" troy said sitting up topless in his bed.

The urge to pounce on him and shower him with kisses and touches was almost too hard to resist. "Morning… what time is it?"

"Early everyone is still asleep" he said with an evil smile

"So what?"I asked not getting what the evil smile was for

"So nothing I was just wondering if you wanted to go for a hike before breakfast"

Hiking really wasn't my thing I mean I may be different in a lot of ways from my sister but I like most Evans not including my father was not into hiking.

"I don't know troy" I said

Troy frowned at me "when else am I gong to have a chance to take you out into the middle of the forest and have my way with you?" he joked or at least I think he was joking.

"well if I had known that was what you had intended I would have said yes to begin with" I joked right back but in reality the thought of troy having his way with me in the middle of a forest sounded only to good.

"I'll just go get dressed then" he said getting out of his bunk completely giving me a wink as he did so. He made his way to the small closet near the bath room and rummaged threw it for a changer of cloths. That was yet another thing I was not to keen on about this trip the storage for things like cloths was not up to par …at all.

Troy disappeared into the bath room and I quickly got up and went to the closet my stuff was in grabbing a change of cloths. I changed my little red underwear for a pair of blue ones with polka dots on them and threw on the rest of my outfit and then made my way to the front area to where I left my carry on. I'm no dummy I knew with everyone's shit lying around the bus that there would be little to no room for all of my necessities so I kept them close and always inside my bag. I grabbed my tooth brush and a bottle of water from the fridge. After bushing for about five minutes troy emerged from the bathroom looking good as ever. He was wearing a button up plaid shirt with a black t underneath and a pair of kaki shorts. He shot me a quick smile as he found my in the front area.

"You ready?" he asked as I took my last rinse and spit.

"Yep"I said and we both left the bus leaving the rest of the group to sleep.

Me and troy mastered one of the smaller trails in just under an hour. I was surprised at how much fun I had but that was mostly troy's doing he was just so easy to talk to and for one we talked without it leading to some sort of confrontation. We just talked and learned about each other. Like I had no idea his favorite subject in school was English I always just assumed it was gym which pressed a more personal conversation.

"See that's what most people think what with me being the basketball guy and all but to tell you the truth I think basket ball ended with high school"

I was caught a little off guard "really but it's your thing it's what you do better then anyone else its why you chose Berkley"

"No your wrong it's my dad's thing it always has been he just set me up to be him or at least the him he never got to be"

"Wow troy I had no idea" I said stopping and sitting on a log

"Most people don't I guess you can say the only reason I ever played basket ball was because I didn't really have a choice"

"That doesn't seem right I mean you kind of screwed yourself with collage"

"See that's another thing people don't know… my passion is writing and people think I chose Berkley for Gabi which is not the truth it hasn't been for a long time I chose Berkley because it has an amazing writing Corse that I plan on taking "

"What about basket ball?"

"Ah I know my family thinks I will be playing but eventually after I've settled I will tell them I'm just not into it" he said

"You think your dad will be happy with that?"

"I'm tired of doing things to impress my dad its time to do me for a change"

"Good for you troy it sounds like you really have things together"

"You would be surprised" he said shaking his head and laughing

"With school troy which kind of surprises me who would have thought troy would have trouble with the ladies"

"speaking of ladies have you been seeing anyone?"

Oh great I hated that question god why did people constantly ask me this god how much I just wanted to scream I'm gay so no I'm not seeing anyone.

" I'm not really interested in relationships "I said shrugging and changing the subject " but what about you I mean there has to be a reason you want to leave Gabi is there someone your interested in? "

Troy's expression changed from playful to completely serious the instant I asked the question. I wasn't sure why he was being so guarded.

"Remember how yesterday I said wanted to tell you something" troy said now smiling lightly but moving closer to me and sitting on the log beside me.

"Yeah" I said short of breath. Troy grabbed my hand and looked into my eyes. "No" I found myself saying to his actions as if I knew what his gaze was trying to tell me.

"Yes" he said now moving closer to me and leaning in to kiss me

I pulled back quickly and moved down the log "troy we can't"

"Why not you have no idea how long I have wanted this how you make me feel I need you" he said moving closer to me again

"Troy please" I said nervously. This couldn't be happening it's the one thing I have wanted for the longest time but at the moment it was the worst thing that could happen.

"Ryan" he said putting his hand to my left cheek "I know you feel the same, I've watched you thought about you everyday wondering and yesterday I knew I knew you felt the same "

It was like a fairy tail the person I never thought would ever like me was confessing his love to me in the middle of an enchanting forest only it felt wrong it felt all wrong and for what reason I had no idea… Gabi that's what made this feel so wrong I was so caught up in the stuff troy was saying that I had forgotten about his girlfriend.

Suddenly I felt troy's lips on mine and a heated kiss I didn't fight it I couldn't it was amazing and beautiful and intoxicating and it was shared with your best friends boyfriend. That was all it took for me to jump from the log.

"Troy we can't do this" I said bluntly. He stood up and followed me grabbing my waste and leaning me against the tree. He pressed his body to mine and I felt his half hard length press onto mine.

"Why not" he said frustrated and clearly aroused by the contact we were making.

"It's complicated" I said high on the sensation of troy aghast me it was going to be really hard arguing my case in this position

"It doesn't have to be Ryan I want you so bad don't let anything else come between that"

"don't tempt me troy please" I said pushing him away from me " I have wanted this for a long time "I admitted holding my hand out to stop him before he came at me again " but right now is not the time for this you know as well as I do"

"I don't care I love you" he said with more emotion then I had ever heard in his voice.

Ok did he really just tell me he loved me or am I dreaming?

"Really?"

"Yes I have for a long time and I don't care about Gabi I don't care about my family I want this now" he said pleadingly "I have waited long enough.

I knew it was wrong I knew that I was going to regret it but part of me didn't care. "Just this once "I said weakly "then we wait till this trip is over I'm not going to be that person troy I don't want to be that person" I already was that person I thought to myself as troy came closer to me and kissed me.

Ok so any dream kiss I had was absolutely no match for the kiss we shared then. It was warm and delicious and very sexual. Troy's hands wandered to my butt and rested there as his tong made its way inside my mouth exploring every inch of it my hands found themselves in his beautiful hair caressing his brunet locks. I wouldn't be able to tell you how long the two of us stood there kissing but after a while troy leaned away from the kiss and rested his head on my shoulder

"Perfect" he said just leaning into me.

I didn't really know what to say to that. I mean I loved the kiss it was not only my first but it was so emotional and real like it meant more to both of us then anything. The problem was the timing although the kiss was perfect it happened at the worst possible time a kiss between troy and I could happen while we where on a road trip with all are friends and troy's girlfriend. God this was a mistake I had pretty much helped troy cheat on Gabi even if he didn't still like her it was wrong and even though I had said only this one time there was no doubt in my mind that this would happen again more then once as this trip progressed. Way to go Ryan you're in for it now.

After another few minutes we made are ways down the rest of the trail hand in hand silently. I didn't know what to say I had no idea how to respond to what had just happened.

"Ry are you ok?" troy said stopping me

"This was a mistake" I said

Tory's expression changed form the triumphant smirk to a hurt lonely boy in a second flat after i said this "why I don't get it isn't this what you wanted I know its what I wanted"

"There is a difference between want and obligation" I said teeth gritted

"You're not obligated to do anything Ryan"

" yeah but you are you are obligated to be with Gabi not me and until you tell her how you really feel I don't even know if I can look at you"

"Are you serious?" he said putting his hand to my face "I love you" god I got goose bumps when he said that. Have could have murdered my pet and all he would have to say is those three word to argue his case. The way his soft lips formed the most romantic word ever written.

"I love you to" I found my self saying out of the blue.

"It will all work out Ryan" he said followed by a peck on the lips "just give it time… but I don't want to stop seeing you I don't want to not kiss you now that I have I don't think I can stop"

As much as I wanted to say he had to, now that I had kissed troy I didn't know if even I could stop. Jesus I have gotten myself into a situation.

A/N

ok so a little bit of spice for this chapter i know i said i was going to focus on some of the others but i figured out a better way to do that in the next chapter so i hope you guys enjoyed this one its about time this all happend i have guesstamated about 20 chapters for this fic so yeah read and review next chapter will be good turst me :D


	5. What have i become

**highschool musicals story and its actors do not in any way belong to me i am just useing them in my awsome kick ass story they belong to the evil empire that is disney etc. XD**

Troy and I made are way back into camp to find the group sitting around the fire pit looking rough. We got odd looks from all of them as we walked over. Great I hated explaining things to people my theory was that if you have to ask then I probably don't want you to know. But that didn't work for sharpay; the worst part about being a twin is that for some reason we always know when something is up with the other. Which was going to be the hardest part about keeping me and troy's… relationship for her?

I hated to call it a relationship because it wasn't, I mean it could be one day but at the moment it was just kissing and … I love you's. It also didn't help that I was going back on about 5 of my personal morals. Heatedly kissing a guy in the middle of a forest like a complete slut, the fact that said guy has a girl friend, keeping it from my sister who I share everything with, lying in general about who I am and the worst of them all is the fact that I am letting myself do all of these things. God what kind of person was I becoming.

"Where were you?" sharpay said glaring at the two of us from a fold out chair.

"Well because we didn't drink till the wee hours of the night and went to sleep early we woke up and went on a hike" troy said planting himself in a chair.

"Oh well aren't you just huck fin" she said turning away. "Maybe next time you can leave a note before you kidnap my brother"

"I'm a big boy shar I can take care of myself" I said laughing. That caused a couple of others to laugh; Gabi came out of the Winnebago with two plates of food. She handed one to me which consisted of a fried egg and bacon with a piece of toast. Then she walked over to troy and handed him a plate before planting her self on his lap.

My face got red and I turned away quickly. Fucking bitch I thought to myself… god its like as much as I wanted to be jealous and yell get off my man I couldn't I mean she was still his girlfriend and no matter what way I look at it I was in the wrong. And what's worse is I told troy and myself that it wouldn't happen again so being this jealous isn't a good sign that I would keep that promise. I sat down opposite my sister who gave me an odd look.

"What's wrong with you?" she asked clearly noticing my perturbed attitude.

"Long ass trial" I said letting out a long breath pretending to be out of breath.

"I see well it's your own fault" she then said turning back to talk to zeke.

I let out another sigh of relief. Yes I dodged a bullet with that one usually sharpay never lets anything get past her but clearly she like me thinks hiking is a crime against good shoes and wouldn't think twice about having a bad attitude about it.

"So was it a good hike?" Gabi said trying to feed troy eggs.

"It was good I have a fun time with Ryan" troy said looking apologetically at me. Well that's good at least he wasn't going to completely ignore me or glare at me. And on the plus side he didn't look to impressed with Gabi straddling him.

"Open up" she said with a fork full of egg.

"Jesus Gabi would you just let me eat?" troy snapped grabbing the fork from her.

Everyone got quiet at are camp and looked at troy and Gabi, Gabi got up quickly and retreated to the bus. Troy on the other had continued eating his breakfast unfazed by anything that was going on around him.

"Dude what's your problem?" Chad.

"Nothing" troy said mouth full of eggs.

"Well that totally wasn't cool yelling at Gabi like that" he responded.

"Ok well maybe next time she can force feed you your breakfast" troy snapped at Chad.

Chad just looked away and shook his head I tried not to laugh at the whole situation. Jesus he really didn't like Gabi any more. Part of me felt like he only did it to put on a show for me to show me that he really was over Gabi.

"How about we pack up" Kelsey said standing up.

After that little show troy and Gabi had fire side no one was really all that cheerful not that they weren't already hung-over but they didn't seem in the mood to have fun. Gabi locked her self in the back room of the bus while the rest of us cleaned up and packed everything away.

It actually sort of annoyed me when I thought about it, like I get it your friends with troy and Gabi but it seems like all of the other wild cats sort of play second fiddle to troy and Gabi like even in there own lives. So what they got into a fight why are you letting it ruin your life it has nothing to do with you yet you all sit around as if someone died is it really that imperative to your life weather two people are together or not. If she doesn't make him happy isn't that all that matters. If you care about him shouldn't he be happy for himself and not for others I just didn't get how they all waited around and moped about something that is in no way relative to them.

"Anyone want a drink?" sharpay said as we made are way down the high way. Once again zeke was the first one at the wheel for the day.

"How could you drink right now?" Jason said looking at her like she was insane.

"Ok well you guys are sitting around moping… this is supposed to be a fun trip why are you being such fun suckers?" she retorted.

Ahh leave it to my amazing sister to agree with me even when she didn't know it.

"I don't know if you noticed sharpay but are friends are upset and I just can't think of having a good time without them" Chad spat.

Ok I have had enough of this shit. "Really Chad"?" I said rolling my eyes "you're really not even going to try and have a good time because of someone else's fight? I mean let Tory sit at the front and figure it out let Gabi be upset there's no reason for any of us to stress about it"

"What would you know about it?" he said

"Nothing" I said raising my voice "but if I where to guess I bet both troy and Gabi wouldn't want all of us fretting about it"

"Whatever" he said turning away from me and looking out the window no one talked for a few minutes after that little freak out it was Taylor who finally broke the ice.

"I'll have a drink" Taylor said out of nowhere followed by a giggle from Kelsey. Before we knew it everyone was laughing even Chad. I don't know what was so funny but we all just laughed and after that it wasn't long before the drinks where being passed around.

"I actually envy you guys" Chad said staring lustfully as Kelsey sipped her beer.

"Don't worry Chad you will be able to drink soon" Taylor said smiling at him.

I was glad every one was getting along and not worrying about troy and Gabi. After a few beers I made my way to the bath room of the bus to where I found Gabi coming out of the back room.

"Ryan can we talk for a sec?" she said wiping her red eyes. Great she had been crying… and she wanted to talk. How was I supposed to talk to her when she was crying about her slowly drifting boyfriend when I was the reason he was slowly drifting. I guess it's a good thing I was an actor… time to put my chops to the test.

"Sure" I said sympathetically following her back into the back room.

Once the door was shut I found my self with my arms full of Gabriella.

"Oh Ryan I don't know what to do" she wept. We just stood there while she hugged me and cried for about five minutes. I know she probably didn't think it was awkward but I was feeling a little… ok more then a little awkward I mean when you think about it I am the other woman or man for that matter but I needed to pull myself together for what I was sure was coming.

She pulsed out of the hug and sat on the bed.

"Its just lately troy and me have been fighting so much" she said as if she was confused by it "its like he has given up on me on us"

"What makes you think that?" I said sitting down next to her.

"I mean he just doesn't act like he wants me I have tried to be like we used to but he just pushes me away" she said wiping her eyes some more. "I mean he didn't even want to come on this trip but I begged him to and I feel like such a fool for trying so hard"

"Don't I mean you guys have been together a long time don't just give up" I found myself saying. But wouldn't it be better for me if she did just give up? Man this was tough I was caught between being a best friend to Gabi and being with troy and right now my friend instincts were pushing the possibility of being with troy further and further away is that what I wanted? I didn't even know what I wanted anymore and it had only been a little over an hour since this had started.

"I don't know I feel so needy like do you have any idea how many times I have tried to make him go all the way but he just doesn't want to claiming that he isn't ready" she said.

"You guys… you haven't done …done it?" I asked in disbelief .that actually made me feel all warm inside knowing that troy was a virgin. Had he put it off all those times because he was saving himself for me?

"Of Corse we haven't how could we when we are never Seeing Eye to eye?"

"Angry sex?" I suggested

Gabi laughed at my witty remark as she always did when she was upset "I don't know Ryan I mean I love him but it feels like he doesn't have eyes for me anymore" that's right because he only has eyes for me I found my self thinking. "You have been spending a lot of time with him has he said anything about me or what's going on"

God great that was the question I was least looking forward to "he hasn't said anything to me at all actually I mean we have only been hanging out a little bit"

"Well could you maybe talk to him for me? See where his heads at" she asked

I wanted to say no given the fact that I already know what's going on his head and if I did then I would have to further lie to Gabi my friend about not knowing anything. Damn you troy for doing this to me I was completely trapped between a rock and a hard place at the moment.

"Sure" I said smiling weakly at her.

"Thanks Ryan" she said smiling back "you're so great to talk to its like when I cant go to Taylor or Kelsey I know I always have you to listen.

That was something that her and her boy friend shared in common they both didn't go to there friends and instead came to me with there problems. One of them looking for the crack in there relationship to try and fix it and the other lusting after me. Problem was Gabi has no idea that she is looking for help from some one who will probably be making the crack bigger.

A/N

i know its my stroy but i coudlent help but feel bad forryan he has so much on his plate and he has be butt in a spot where he is not comfortable its only a matter of time before he cracks from all the presure... i liked writing this chapter and i tried tio have it earleyer butother people use my computer and i can never seem to get on it till like ten at night so its usually a late update but i hope you all like it i know i do and read and review.


	6. Nothing to do in Wyoming

**highschool musicals story and its actors do not in any way belong to me i am just useing them in my awsome kick ass story they belong to the evil empire that is disney etc. XD**

It was mid day and we had breeched the state of Wyoming. Gabi had cheered up and joined us out in the main area while troy took his turn to drive. After all of the drama I did actually having fun a lot of that had to do with the alcohol consumption but what ever you only live once right?

"I'm trying to figure out what the hell there is to do in Wyoming" Kelsey said from behind a state of Wyoming pamphlet. "Like there is absolutely nothing to do in this state"

"I didn't even know there was a state called Wyoming" Jason said confused

"And that my friend is why you almost failed geo" zeke said.

"What I am trying to figure out is why we didn't road trip to the west coast I mean Vegas? Hollywood?" he said

"Well if you must know young Chadwick" sharpay said resting a hand on his shoulder " what would you say is my most cherished and loved pass time?"

"Ruining my life?" Chad chirped

"Shopping!" all the girls said together giggling

"Yes and do you know what is in Minnesota as we speak calling my name?" she asked "mall of America that is one of the many places in are direction"

"So that's why you wanted to go on this road trip" I said "why not just fly here you would have saved us tile and money"

"To fly all of us here?" she said

"To fly you here" Chad said rolling his eyes

"Then we wouldn't all be together" she said smiling

"Well it just so happens that we drive threw a lot of boring states to get there" Kelsey said closing the book and leaning her head back on the chair.

"Well because of lack of personal space I say we stay tonight at the Hilton in Casper" sharpay said

"I was wondering when we where going to get around to doing stuff like showering" Chad said relieved that we wouldn't be spending another night without the necessity's of a real bathroom. I too was existed about this turn of events, for me any chance at not having to sleep in this cramped bus with a bunch of people sounded like way to good news.

But for now there was still the task of talking to troy about …well everything. While the others talked about what they would be doing once we got to the hotel I made my way to the front and sat in the passenger seat followed by closing the door. one of the perks of driving my dads Winnebago was that it was deigned by him for him and when he drove he used to like complete silence and focus on the road hence the door to the front.

Troy noticed my entry and smiled like a child before leaning over and kissing me on the cheek. My eyes widened and I leaned away.

"Troy are you crazy?" I whispered

"For you" he said biting his lip and gazing an almost intoxicated smile at me. How was I supposed to resist him when he gave me looks like that?

"You are extremely cheesy" I said rolling my eyes.

"You love it" he said smirking confidently

" troy we cant keep sneaking around I feel bad enough doing this to Gabi who by the way just unloaded her depression on me but I never keep anything from my sister and right now I am keeping probably one of the biggest things in my life from her" I said

Troy became serious at this point "Ryan I can't help how I feel for you nor do I want to" he said turning towards me "its not fair"

What! "Troy what about Gabi how fair is it for us to be doing this behind her back" I nearly yelled were it not for the fact that the walls of the bus were paper thin. "Do you even care about her at all?"

"Of Corse I do I just don't love her" he said frowning " I love you"

Ok he needed to stop doing that because every time he did anything I was about to say went out the window.

"I… I um"I mumbled like a complete fool not knowing what to say in response to that. "You're a virgin!" I blurted out not being able to think about anything else.

Troy's face went red and he looked out the window "I know"

"I thought after a year and a half of dating you would have at least gotten that obstacle out of the way" I said even though I sort of knew well at least I thought I knew why he hadn't had sex.

"I was saving my self" troy said nervously not looking directly at me. My heart began to melt.

"For who?"

"Ryan don't be stupid I was saving my self for you" he said rolling his eyes

That was just music to my ears how could I sit here and try to convince troy that what we are doing is wrong when the fact is he really dose love me I mean he will say the sweetest things and I would crumble. mark that to the list of morals I was going back on. But god was he cute. I need to get myself under control it's like I am taking one step forwards and two steps back.

"Well don't hold your breath" I said coldly which caused him to frown. Ok maybe not the best choice of words "you will have to wait till this trip is over and you have ended things with Gabi and I want a date Bolton"

"Will do lovely" he said reaching over to put is hand on the back of my neck and began playing with my hair.

"And one more thing" I said unsure of how he would take this news "once this starts I'm coming out… so that's something you might have to deal with"

Troy took his hand out of my hair and put in back on the wheel. God how I knew that he wouldn't want to come out of Corse he wouldn't he was content fooling everyone and having ass on the side. I guess that's the biggest difference between me and troy, he doesn't care about keeping secrets to get what he wants and I was completely opposed to the idea.

He looked at me with a worried expression gracing his face "do you really think that little of me to think I wouldn't do the same?"

Ok that wasn't the response I was expecting at all "you would come out?"

"For you I would come out to the world" he said returning his hand back to my hair. I needed to stop thinking I had troy figured out I mean as much as I wanted to think I knew him I really didn't know all that much about him.

"I'm sorry but you can't really blame me for doubting you I mean we barely know each other. Till a couple days ago we weren't even friends" I said.

"I always thought about you though all the time" he said smiling affectionately at me

" I did too all the time" it was true that I constantly thought about troy I mean how could I not and now that I knew his feelings everything was prefect we could be together and I would no longer have to fantasize about him and knowing that it will never come true. Did it really make me a bad person to take what I wanted even if it belonged to someone else I mean it would be different if I was coming between a happy relationship and running it they clearly weren't happy and I wasn't to blame for that so why should I feel bad indulging in something that I thought for so long could only be a fantasy.

"What are you thinking?" he said moving his hand down to my back and began rubbing.

"I'm thinking it would be unrealistic to say that we can't be together when we both know that it will happen anyway" I said turning to smile at troy.

Troy's face lit up with an exited smile as he leaned over for a kiss but this time it was not on the cheek it was on the lips. I knew I couldn't resist troy and I don't even know why I pretended I could. All I know is I hope I made the right decision and that it all didn't blow up in my face.

As troy drove he kept his right hand always on me weather he had it in my hair or on my hand or even on my upper leg he never lost contact with me. Nor did I want him to.

"You like touching me" I said as less then a question and more as a fact.

"Is that a problem?" he asked smiling at me.

"No I like it" I said smiling right back at him. God I was just full of smiles today.

"It sounds stupid but I feel like if I let go of you you might disappear" he said

"I'm not going anywhere troy trust me" I said placing me hand on his leg.

Suddenly the door to the cock pit opened and both of are hands withdrew from the others body and turned around to find sharpay standing there

"How you guys doing?" she said smiling clearly not noticing are previous positions.

"Doing great sharpay" troy said happily

"Of Corse you are but I just wanted to let you know you can stop soon if you wish Chad said he will take the wheel"

"Great send him in"

Troy pulled off the high way into a random town called chugwater and stopped at a gas station. The girls went into the shop for some stuff and the guys all got off to pump gas into the bus. I don't know why you need three guys to pump gas but I wasn't about to question there logic because it left me and troy alone.

As soon as the bus door shut troy was beside me pulling me into an embrace. Our lips met in a passionate kiss we walked lips still attached to the back of the bus and into the back room both collapsing on the bed. Troy say on top of me and grinded his body into mine deepinging the kiss and parting my lips with his toung and I allowed him entry. This was amazing I completely loved every second of it regardless of weather he was still with Gabi but before I indulged any further I needed to know some stuff

I forced myself to pull myself away from the kiss "troy what if we get caught?"

Troy reached into his back pocket and pulled out a deck of playing cards "go fish?"

I laughed at him and we went back to kissing. As soon was we head the door to the Winnebago open we where off each other and sitting cross legged on the bed.

Sharpay peaked her head in the back room to see us playing cards and thought nothing of it returning back to the front with the others. We had reached the hotel before we where bothered again this time it was by Gabi who insisted troy come to the front. Troy originally turned down the offer only to have me shoot him a glare.

"Keah be out as soon as this game is over" he said as she made her way back to the front. He turned to me with a look of jealousy and anger. "What the hell Ryan why do you want me to go out there?"

" troy I don't care if I want to spend every second of this trip here with you I will not in good conscience let you completely avoid the girl, you might as well just dump her now" I snapped

"Maybe I should" he said

"That would ruin everyone trip" I said not hearing any of it

"Why are you so caught up in what other people think why don't you just do what's best for you?" he asked shaking his head "I don't get it I mean the whole idea of being with you completely goes back on what my family and friends would want so I am doing it for me why don't you do this for you and not think about them" he said pointing to the door. "And it can't make you happy to see Gabi all over me"

"It doesn't at all"

"Well whatever" he said defeated "it's your call"

Troy got up and exited the back room. Maybe he was right I mean as wrong as it felt to do that to Gabi it would be better to just cut it lose and have him move on to well … me. And it was true troy being gay wouldn't sit well with anyone and as much as it was his idea in the first place to pursue me he was sacrificing a lot to do it. But it just didn't feel right doing this. God I feel like so hypercritic telling off Chad for letting troy's fight bother him while I was sitting here worrying what other people will think if they break up. And I did stuff for myself all the time. No you don't you do what your sister wants and what Gabi wants do what you want for a change take what's rightfully yours get yourself you're man the little voice in my head said.

A/N

ok so this is a first updateing during the day but it is the weekend right any way the next chapter is sure to be good waht with the group being at a hotel with a pool at night... you do the math on this one... anyway thats all i am shareing i hope you enjoyed read and review :D


	7. Blocking out the bad

**highschool musicals story and its actors do not in any way belong to me i am just useing them in my awsome kick ass story they belong to the evil empire that is disney etc. XD**

We arrived at the Hilton garden inn in Casper Wyoming which was a welcomed change of pace to staying in a bus for a night. Clearly the idea was not very well thought threw by sharpay if everyone was already thankful to be in a hotel after one night but I foresaw this happening from the second she came up with the idea. We booked two side by side rooms Gabi troy Chad and Taylor shared one while sharpay zeke Kelsey and Jason shared the other with me of Corse being the outcast in a pull away cot so needless to say I think I would have been more comfortable in the Winnebago by myself but sharpay wouldn't have any of it.

After we arrived and got our self's situated everyone began to argue over who would get to have a shower first. Troy left the joint rooms abruptly saying something about going to the hotel gym to take a load off. How is going to a hotel gym taking a load off? Sometimes the boy confused me maybe that's why I liked him so much.

"Well I'm going to the pool while you guys figure that out". I said completely ignored I grabbed my bathing suit from my bag and left the room. I wonder what troy is doing right now, pumping iron no doubt. I walked into the pool area where I found a few others swimming or relaxing in the hot tub. And across the room I saw troy threw a large floor to ceiling window peddling away on an exercise bike. God did he look good all sweaty and hot.

I made my way over to the door that said change room and went inside. It was completely empty so I could change in peace without distraction. I stripped off my clothes and threw on my bathing suit quickly. See as much as I would spend time dancing to relieve my stress I also enjoyed a nice swim in the pool to clear my head and man did I need to clear my head.

Ok so where to begin yesterday we made are way from Albuquerque new Mexico and drove to Denver and now to Wyoming and in that time I had realized I liked being here more then I thought I would, that being said the reason why I enjoyed being here was one big conundrum. in short the reason I was having any fun at all was exactly why felt so bad and needed to clear my head it was the troy thing. And I say thing because I don't really know how else to describe it I mean I had only talked to him about it twice and one of those times we only really kissed. But it was a problem because of Gabi and as much as I wanted to just indulge and not care I still felt like I was being a complete and utter backstabbing whore. Well that's because I was being a complete and utter backstabbing whore! I couldn't resist troy's charm and I prided myself for having good willpower but clearly I didn't. God I really liked troy and I have wanted this for so long. This is something that I never saw in a million years happening and now it's like my dreams are coming true as cheesy as is sounds. But then when I am alone and contemplating my actions I can't help but feel this horrible feeling of my betrayal of Gabi its like I was saying one thing but thinking another and around troy it all crumbled.

But how can I regret it I mean on the one hand if I had stuck to my decision not to come I wouldn't have let my temptations overwhelm me but if I had stayed home and not come I would have never known about troy's feelings and who knows he could have patched things up with Gabi and completely forgotten me.

While I was thinking I had totally forgotten that I was in the change room and exited wasting no time in jumping in the typically warm hotel pool water. In the time I had taken to change all other people who where there had left the pool and I was alone. I hated being alone with my thoughts. I began to swim back and forth form wall to wall trying unsuccessfully to not think about troy when I heard a splash. And suddenly two strong arms were wrapping around my bare chest and I was pulled over to the wall.

"Hey there beautiful" he said planting a kiss on my cheek

"Troy what did I say about that" I said making no effort in trying to escape his grasp.

"No one will see us trust me" he said now kissing my on my lips "you look so good without a shirt on" he said wandering his fingers up and down my chest.

"looking good yourself wildcat" see now that was one of the things I shouldn't have said but of cores the troy charm kicked in and I gave in. what I should have said was "troy no I told you we cant do this" and jumped out of the pool but the mind just doesn't work like that when you are head over heals or in my case sneakers.

"I noticed while changing that there are showers in the change rooms" he said in a sexy tone "care to join me?"

Was he seriously asking if I wanted to shower with him "I don't know troy"

"We don't have to take our bathing suits off or anything but I think a little bit of privacy would be nice" he said with his sexy smile. Great here it comes cave in time. I rolled my eyes which he noticed right away.

"What?" he said laughing.

"It's like your some sort of incubus" I said disconnecting myself from him and swimming away.

"How so?" he asked chasseing me across the pool

"You make me do things that I would never do" I said all joking aside I looked in his eyes trying to figure out where his head was at.

He two stopped joking and was now serious "is that really how I make you feel?"

I turned away not wanting to see his face " don't take it wrong troy I have wanted you for a long time and for a large part of my life I knew that was an unrealistic goal but that didn't stop me from liking you"

He smiled weakly "so then what's the problem?" he said

"the problem is I feel like my feelings for you are masking all of the wrong I am doing its like I am pushing aside all of the bad things I have done because I am finally getting what I want but the way I am getting it goes against almost everything I stand for" I said maybe this time troy would understand what I was trying to say before.

"Ryan I would never want you to feel uncomfortable but I don't know if I am capable of not being with you" he said shaking his head wearing expressions of panic a look of almost fear. Dose he care about me that much?

"troy that's the problem I don't know if I am capable either and that scares me because right now we are risking everything our friends our family's because of that, like I have never kept a secret from sharpay and now I am because of this… love I feel for you that I have never felt in my life for anyone"

"I know what you mean" he said grimly "I mean I sort of always knew you were well..."

"Gay?" I said

"Yeah so I had already prepared myself for what to expect if this happened and I have already prepared myself for what people might think" he said

"Me on the other hand…" I said before getting cut off

"Had no idea I felt the same therefore never really expected anything to happen" he finished for me.

Wow I knew troy as a person wasn't the most attentive person but it's like he knew what was going on in my head. It made me wonder if all of the bad shit was worth it just to be with someone who seemed to know me so well even if he had only been my friend for a few days, even if we had only realized our love for each other this morning.

"so what dose this mean?" he said looking as if he might cry

God I don't know I came into this thinking I was ending this and letting life get back to normal at least as normal as it had been before but now I didn't know what I wanted. But the difference between now and the last time is this it wasn't the charm of troy that made rethink my original course of action but instead it was like my conscience telling me that maybe the bad shit was worth it.

"I can't "I said finally caving.

Troy hung his head and didn't make eye contact with me as he turned away

"Ok I understand" he said about to climb out of the pool

"That's not what I meant" I said. " I cant not be with you and if that means I am destroying any sort of friendship I have with Gabi then I guess I will have one less friend in California this September and if it ruins things with my sister then I guess…" I swallowed hard thinking about the idea of shar hating me "then I guess I will have to get used to that to"

Troy turned around so quickly I'm surprised he didn't get whiplash " are you for real?" he said crying.

"Yes" I said smiling. "I love you troy"

At that troy wasted no time in swimming across the pool to me and kissing me long and hard on the lips "I love you so much Ryan" he said between kisses. I welcomed the kisses it just felt right to be kissed by troy and I finally knew why. I had always admired troy and fantasized about him but never did I ever think I would have him in the flesh all to myself. But a part of me told me never to give up on him and I never did. And regardless of the guilt I should be feeling I deserved to have the object of my affection after so many years of never getting to have him.

"Showers?" I said breathlessly pulling away from a passionate kiss.

"I thought you would never ask" he said pulling back and getting out of the pool. Seconds later we found ourselves in the change room showers grinding against each others half naked bodies in a fight for toung dominance. I wanted troy I needed to have him pressed against me with out his touch I just didn't feel comfortable. There was no feeling better then his hands trailing down my back no scent better then his natural musk and no taste better then his mouth but that was still yet to be known for I had not yet tasted the other troy flavors. His hands squeezed my butt and mine grasped onto his hair. Troy moaned in pleasure as I pulled harder on his hair.

Suddenly his hands made there way down my swimming trunks and cupped my bare ass I gasped in both shock and pleasure at the contact we made.

"You like that?" troy breathed into are joined lips. "Want more?"

God yes troy I want all of you… but sadly I knew it would have to wait as blissful as it was he had been away from the group for a while longer then in took the rest of them to all have showers and I knew my sister had plans for us to go to dinner at the American grill the hotel had so it was time to be responsible for the both of us because I know troy wouldn't be.

"Troy we have to go"

"Go? Why?"

"Dinner the others will come looking for us" I said

"Ahhh Ryan pleases… I'm so Horney right now"

"Troy" I laughed "we still have to get out of here"

"What if I refuse?"

"Trust me troy I will make it up to you later"

"How" he said biting his lip

"In ways you couldn't even imagine" I said giving him another kiss "I promise" I said crossing my finger over my heart.

"You better" he said frowning clearly he didn't like the idea of doing anything that didn't involve touching me.

The both of us got dried off and redressed. It was good that troy always carried around shower gel in his gym bag for we both needed a shower. Some would look at me and troy showering together as wrong but I just looked at it as saving water.

We made are way out of the pool area to find sharpay alone in the hallway on her way to find us.

"Oh there you two are" she said startled as we came threw the door "did you enjoy your swim?"

"Yeah it was…" troy said

"Great so the rest of us are ready to eat so as soon as you shower" sharpay said cutting of troy.

"Actually we already did shower in the pool change rooms troy has shower gel" I said smiling at troy

"A change room shower?" she said repulsed "that disgusting"

"I thought it was refreshing" troy said smiling ear to ear

"Of cores you did" she said sarcastically "but if you don't mind I need to have a word with my brother so run along and find the others in the room" she said pointing down the hallway towards the elevator.

"Ok then" troy said "see you soon" he said then turning to me.

Troy left us standing in the hall

"So how long has this been going on?" she said with a sneer

I was completely confused by what she was talking about "how long has what been going on?"

"Don't be stupid Ryan I'm talking about you and troy" she said shaking her head impatiently

Shit….I froze up not being able to speak not being able to breath and above all kicking myself for thinking I could hide this from sharpay.

"Well…?" she said now taping her stiletto on the tiled hallway floor.

A/N

aww so now ryan and troy will be together and evreything will be ok right? wrong lol yeha i had to slip that little drama into the allmost perfect chapter. but the stroy wouldent be good without a little drama. so yeah sharpay knows and i have left this story at a clif hanger for now but dont worry i will update sometime this week and you will find out how this little convo between sharpay and ryan turnes out but for now i need sleep i would have had this chapter finished earlyer but the fial episode of survivor was on and hell if i was going to miss that so yeah hope you enjoyed read and review :D


	8. Everyone else's fault

**highschool musicals story and its actors do not in any way belong to me i am just useing them in my awsome kick ass story they belong to the evil empire that is disney etc. XD**

"Sharpay how did you know" I said weakly standing in the hall way of the hotel with my head hanging waiting for her to freak. Leave it to sharpay to figure out my biggest secret without even trying it almost made me consider how obvious I'd been to the others.

"Oh Ryan give me some credit I am your twin sister" she said in an ugly tone "I just can't believe you didn't tell me to begin with" her tone turned from ugly to hurt.

"How was I supposed to tell you shar not only were we cooped up in that bus but I had no idea how to even begin telling anyone" I said defending my self form her verbal attack.

"We share everything Ryan I thought id be the first person you would come to" she said still hurt.

"I know and I would have but there just wasn't a good time to do it and hey I'm telling you now right I'm sorry I didn't before" I said frowning at her

"You're forgiven but you still didn't tell me how it started"

"Today this morning on our hike is when it all started" I said

She stepped back and raised her hand to stop me from speaking further with a look of utter misunderstanding on her face "you mean to tell me that this has only been going on a day? But you guys have been flirting since well before the trip"

"Well if we where flirting neither of us acted on it till this morning" I said

"Well that's good" she said "what do you plan on doing about it?"

"I don't know I told troy that I couldn't do it to Gabi but he is just so …so"

"He's just so troy Bolton" she said finishing my sentence knowingly "I know what you mean and as for Gabi she would be the least of my concerns"

I gave her a confused look

"you know as well as I do that relationship is a lost cause and I have scene you alone for the past 18 years of our life so in my opinion to see that the guy you have been lusting after for what is it now 12 years feel the same and want to be with you then you shouldn't let a whiney little girl who is to stupid to see when the shows over stop you from getting what you want" she said

I was shocked I had kept just about the biggest secret from my sister and I thought her finding out would be the end but clearly it was just a new beginning. Suddenly it was like a weight on my back lifted and I didn't feel as guilty as I had once felt.

"How did you know I was …you know gay?" I asked

" Ryan like I said I'm your twin I have known forever but its things like that in which you never push I respect you enough to wait till you are ready to come out I would never out you"

"Um shar you just did" I said

"Yeah but that was because you where also just showering with troy Bolton" she said

She had a point.

"So where do we stand?" I asked unsure of where her head was at

"Where we always stood Ryan don't worry I'm not going to tell if that's what you mean" she said putting an arm around my shoulder " if love is a battle field then I am your general"

"Thanks shar"

"Any time….now what's your plan?" she asked

"What do you mean plan?"

"I mean how do you plan on moving forward with ….would you like to call it a relationship?"

" I mean yeah it's a relationship I think I mean that's how I see it anyway" I said being completely honest " and as far as Gabi is concerned she doesn't need to know, after this trip is over troy can break up with her and hopefully then will be a good time to tell her about us"

Sharpays face turned grim as she looked at me " Ryan there is no good time to tell her… weather you do it now or later it will end badly weather you wait a year or more it will still end ugly"

"Sharpay isn't that a little unreasonable?" I asked

"Listen to what you just said Ryan" she said "you are dating one of your best friends boyfriends while they are still together which is cheating and expect her to be ok with it in a months time and you think her getting pissed is unreasonable?" sharpay said laughing "it doesn't matter when you do it she will never like it and that's just how it is"

"I guess your right" I admitted feeling a little more then bad about the whole situation.

"She's a girl Ryan being pissed of is what she dose best" sharpay said as if she was proud of her uncanny skills at getting away with being piss off when ever she wanted. "Listen I will keep your secret have your fun but if Gabi finds out then you and troy are on your own"

"Thanks…I think"

"Sorry Hun there's always a fine print….. But for now dinner and so help me if you play footsees under the table I will expose you" she said pointing her finger at me before walking away.

Well that went better then I thought it would I mean in my defense my sister has bitten off heads for less then a dirty look so not telling her something this big that's going on in my life could have put me on her hit list. Who knew that sharpay could be so understanding to I mean she was never the recipient for best friend of the year or even sister for that matter but I never thought she would be that not only understanding but so cut throat to see to it that I get when I want. Of Corse I knew that when it came to the time I had to tell Gabi the truth she would be gone but to know I had her support now was good enough for me.

"So …what's it like to kiss troy Bolton?" she asked as we walked back towards the rooms

"Oh you know… completely heavenly" I said

"As I expected" she said smirking.

XxXxXxX

The next morning I woke up in the strong arms of troy which was exactly how I fell asleep last night after we got back from dinner. Once again he and Gabi had gotten in a fight and she insisted on sleeping on the cot instead of in the bed with him which I had no problem with of Corse she didn't know why I was so easily swayed but before we all went to bed I got a nasty knowing glare from sharpay. So now I was warm and cozy wrapped in troy's limbs all out in the open for everyone to see assuming they pulled back the blankets. Even though I was wide awake I didn't want to get up I wanted to lie here forever and watch the beautiful sleeping boy next to me. But of Corse any sort of happiness I got to share with my troy was short lived.

"Guys get up we have a long day of driving to do and we have to be gone in like an hour if we want to be in Lincoln by dinner" said zekes voice coming threw the door joining the two rooms.

I quickly pulled away from troy which of corse caused him to stir and wake up

"What what's going on" he said sitting up in his bed and rubbing his eyes.

I couldn't help but laugh "nothings wrong we just have to get up and ready to go" I said rubbing his leg under the cover.

Troy flashed me and flirtatious grin before picking his phone up off of the night stand and looking at the time. "At 7:30?" he said clearly annoyed.

Zeke made his way threw the door smiling " yeah we want to beat traffic and get to Lincoln by about five we are staying in another hotel once we get there sharpay said something about never sleeping on that bus again"

"Well I don't blame her that was a way better sleep then the one I had on the bus" troy responded still looking at me.

"I'll say… I wonder how Gabi slept" Taylor chimed in from the other bed.

"I slept fine" she said coming from the other room "how about you Ryan sleep well?" she asked not even trying to hide her annoyance from anyone

"It was your idea not to sleep in the same bed Gabi" troy said getting up and walking to the bathroom.

Gabi glared at troy as he walked and then directed her glare at me… what the hell did I do? Well you know aside from being in love with her boyfriend but she didn't know about that so why all of the sudden was she mad at me?

"We need to talk" she said coldly to me before walking back into the other room.

"Wow what did you do?" Chad asked

"I have no clue" I said honestly I mean unless sharpay shared my secret with the rest of the group the truth was I really didn't know what had het panties in a bunch.

"Well you did share a bed with her boyfriend maybe she sees you as some competition" Chad said laughing.

"As if" I said laughing along with the others. Oh but you have no idea

Half an hour later found us getting on the bus and heading out zeke of corse took the first shift of driving us seeing as how he was really the only morning person of the group. The others sat and talked but I was no dummy so I went to my bunk and had a nap. There was no way that after a night of down time that the group wasn't going to be staying up and doing some drinking.

But any nap I was planning to have was cut off my Gabi.

"Can we talk Ryan?" she said coldly

"Uh yeah sure" I said getting up from my bunk and following her into the back bedroom.

"Ryan" she said shuting the door. "I thought you said you were going to talk to him" she said accusingly

"I did" I said not understanding why she was so angry.

"Then why is he still being like this?"

"Umm Gabi I don't know if you have noticed but I'm not a fairy god mother I talked to him and he kind of didn't really say anything about it there was nothing I could I don't control him"

"Well maybe you should try harder" she said

Wow did she really just say that ok the gloves are coming off.

"Gabriella I don't know who you think you are but I don't really have to do anything for you I said I would ask him and I did and its not my fault if I don't get a response so you can just back off" I said turning towards the door.

"Ryan please I'm sorry I said that its just I want things to be the way they were before and I feel like I am losing him" she said beginning to get upset.

"Did you ever think that maybe it's for the best?" I said

If looks could kill the one she gave me would made me spontaneously combust.

"Of corse not why would you even say that?"

"Well from what I see of your relationship clearly he is not as into it as you seem to be and as your friend I say what's the point in fighting for something that is already lost"

"Its not… me and troy are perfect for each other"

"Ok I'll take that one with a pinch of salt" I said rolling my eyes "from what I have heard from the both of you it seems like you are fighting a losing battle and troy is just moving on"

"I don't believe that… if he didn't love me he wouldn't have followed me to California he would have gone to u of a" she said shaking her head "you don't know what you're talking about"

"If you think the only reason troy went to Berkley is you then you are delusional" I said beginning to get a little more then emotional myself.

"Well maybe you should stay out of it" she said

"Ha ok I wouldn't have gotten involved in the first place if you hadn't asked met to Gabi"

"Well now I am rethinking asking you for advice" he said crossing her arms and frowning.

"Why because I'm not telling you exactly what you want to hear?" I asked shaking my head "well then you can figure it out on your own for now on."

"And you can stop talking to troy" she said

"I'm not going to let you tell me who I can and can't talk to"

"I don't want you talking to my boyfriend" she said coldly

"Do you really think dictating who our boyfriend talks to is really the best way to win him back?" I asked laughing "you're more hopeless then I thought."

"You know what your problem is Ryan you have no respect for other peoples feelings he is my boyfriend and I would prefer you not poisoning his mind with all of your theories about how we don't belong together"

"Poisoning his mind?" I said not believing my ears. Ok so I am so over feeling bad for this chick. " you want to know what your problem is, you deflect any sort of blame… instead of looking at what your doing wrong in your relationship you look at everyone else to blame, you and your boy friend are in a rough patch but it couldn't possibly have anything to do with the fact that you are a stage five clinger or that you are to blind to look at your own faults … no its everyone else's fault that your not getting you way. And I will sure as hell not take the blame because your relationship with troy is going down the tubes."

"How dare you"

Vary easily actually" I said turning around and exiting the room going back to my bunk. Never in a million years did I think that Gabi could be so cut throat. I mean I can understand her want to keep troy but to blame me. Well I guess if she knew she had every right to blame me but her reasons were al wrong it's not my fault your boyfriend doesn't like you its your own. I cant even begin to describe how much I wanted to tell her who troy really loved back there but I held my toung I knowing that he is mine was consolation for not being able to really let her have it. But none the less I'm sure I will hear about this later.

A/N

ahh the confrontation you have all been waitng for... there have been a copple of drama chapters lately and i promis that the next chapter will ahve just as much because its going to be hard to avoid it whenyou are on a tiny bus with your enemy but it will also be fun for troy and ryan. that being said i am on chapter 8 and in the sotry only two days have passed so the story might start to jump soon. i hope you enjoyed read and review :D


	9. Moments of bliss

**highschool musicals story and its actors do not in any way belong to me i am just useing them in my awsome kick ass story they belong to the evil empire that is disney etc. XD**

"Baby wake up" I head as a soft hand slid over my cheek. My eyes opened to find troy looking down at me. "Hey sleepy head …have a nice nap?" he asked smiling down at me before planting a kiss on my lips.

"What time is it?" I asked rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.

"Two thirty" he said sitting down on my bunk and grabbing my hand "you slept almost the whole way"

"Where is everyone?" I asked looking to the front area of the bus.

"Don't worry they are off getting something to eat for lunch" he said.

Ok I could get used to getting woken up by troy every morning.

"Where are we anyway?" I asked sitting up and.

"We are in the town of Grand Island Nebraska" he said repositioning himself to have me sitting in between his legs while he leaned against the back of the bunk.

Ok good so the last 48 hours really did happen and troy was in fact my boyfriend and sharpay did know about me being gay and she was completely all right with it and I had just yelled at Gabi. Oh yeah I almost forgot about that part.

"I wanted to ask… what did you say to Gabi this morning?" troy asked as if he could read my mind. A detail about him that proved that we should in fact is together.

"Oh yeah that…" I said nervously I mean to be fair I wasn't completely sure how he was going to take it she's still his girlfriend after all. "Remember yesterday when she asked me to talk to you well shes sort of blaming me for you not wanting to work things out"

"Excuse me?" he said offended "you haven't done anything wrong"

"Well that's not even half of it… she then tried to tell me I couldn't talk to you any more followed by me pretty much telling her off" I said shrugging " so at the moment we aren't really BFF's" I said air quoting sarcastically.

"I need to talk to her about this I wont have her pining this on you" he said

" no troy that would be just about the worst thing you could do right now just leave it she can be immature all she wants I don't want to stoop to petty he said she said fights lets just focus on the positive."

"Ok I won't say anything" he said giving in "for now…"

"I'll take that" I said "so was she completely bitchey all day?"

"Not really she just sort of looked uncomfortable" he said

"Anything else happen today?" I asked not sure if I even wanted to know.

"Well I had a nice chat with your sister" he said

"Oh no" I said worried "what did she say?"

"Oh you know the whole if you hurt my brother I will eat you speech" he said giggling.

"She said she was going to eat you?" I asked "yeah that sounds like shar."

"Oh yeah and also we all came to a decision that we will be spending two days in Lincoln" he said

"Why" I asked. I mean not that I didn't think spending less time on the bus was a bad thing but what was so special about Lincoln Nebraska?

" well after three days of only driving everyone thought it would be a nice idea to take a day off which I agree with I am sick of spending all day on the road plus…"

He stopped talking and readjusted himself so he could look in my eyes

"What plus you could what?" I asked

"Plus you said you wanted a date"

My eyes widened as he said this. Was he serious he wanted to take me on a date "really like today or…?"

"Tonight when everyone goes out we will go on a date" he said.

"How … I mean what about the others aren't they goanna like wonder where we are?"

"You sister said she would help cover us" he said.

"When I pictured what kind of boyfriend you would be I knew you would be a hopeless romantic" I said leaning in for a kiss.

The kiss began to get more heated as are toungs began to explore. Troy completely turned me around so that I was lying on top of him. He reached his hands down and squeezed my ass. Jesus this boy really liked my butt. I grinded into him and let out a small moan.

"I like making you moan" he gasped pulling away from the kiss for only a moment before once again attacking my lips. Troy's hands wondered all over my body as we kissed and found there way to the zipper of my pants. He began impatiently unbuttoning my pants and slowly moved his hands over my length which was by this point rock hard. He began rubbing me threw my underwear. My moans and grunts began to grow louder as his hands warded in places they had never touched before and I let him know how much I approved. "Do you like it?"

"Yes"

Troy smiled and began rubbing harder. "I love you Ryan" he said as he removed his hand and slipped his hand down my underwear. I let out a gasp of pleasure as his hand grabbed my lengths and began stroking it up and down.

" oh my god troy I love you so much" I found my self saying short of breath. This was something I had never experienced with anyone let alone the man of my dreams and I was going to take advantage of every second.

As he stroked he left little kisses along my neck and down my chest as he unbuttoned my shirt. part of me felt like this was all happening to fast but I couldn't think straight enough to tell him to stop I didn't want him to stop I wanted him to keep going. I began rubbing his hardness threw his pants and he let out little grunts of pleasure as well. And that's when I felt it coming; the amazing sensation of release was about to happen.

"Troy… I'm …I am goanna…"

" go ahead baby cum for me" he said between heavy breathes seconds later I collapsed onto Tory as cum began to jet from me and onto his shirt I let out a loud sigh of relief as I finally released . I quickly pulled down the elastic of his shorts followed by his briefs and began stroking his length as he had stroked mine. God I never knew how much better it would feel to have someone else do it for me instead of doing it myself. And the best part of it was that it was shared with not just any one but the one the boy I had loved for so long the boy who I never gave up on the one who never stayed out of my head and now he was the person who had given me so much pleasure .we had officially broken the seal and now we could never go back. Any doubts I had about troy were no gone in this moment of bliss.

Soon after troy to came letting out a cry of pleasure.

XxXxXxX

"I don't know Ryan I don't think you look that good" sharpay said as she held a hand over my forehead. I was fine but this was all part of our little plan for me and troy to go on our first date. "Yeah you have a fever I forbid you to go out tonight" she said. We where now at the embassy hotel in Lincoln everyone was getting ready to go for dinner and that was my que to fake sick.

"Really you forbid him?" Chad asked "you're going to let her tell you that you aren't aloud to go have fun?" he then directed at me

"Well I am feeling a little bit ill"

"Well that's would probably have to do with the fact that we have been on a bus for three days" Taylor said. "Don't worry Ryan we will bring you home something from the restaurant if you aren't felling up to going"

"Thanks Taylor" I said smiling Weakley at her. It was kind words like that which made me feel bad about not being able to tell them about me and troy.

"Yeah it's such a shame you can't join us" Gabi said sympathetically. If I didn't know she was full of shit I would have believed she cared.

"I have an idea why don't I just stay here with him" troy said smiling.

"What?" Gabi said in almost a high pitched shriek which earned some odd looks from the rest of the group "I mean why you would do that?"

"Well I mean if Ryan isn't feeling well then its not fair to leave him here alone while we all go have fun and plus I'm kind of tired and would probably just be a downer all night"

"No I think you should come" Gabi said smirking.

" actually that's really thoughtful troy" Kelsey said giving him an odd up and down look as if trying to figure out what the deal was.

"I think it's a great idea I mean there's no point in ruining everyone else's night because you're in a bad mood" sharpay said smiling ear to ear.

"Thanks sharpay" he said rolling his eyes. I mean I know she was in on the whole fake illness first date plan but she could have been a little nicer with her approach. But leave it to her to add that typical sharpay sass

"Fine whatever" Gabi said storming out of the room.

"What's her deal?" Jason asked

"this is like the third time you have blown her off this trip" Chad said to troy" I don't blame her for being a little pissed"

"Well I don't feel up to going out maybe she shouldn't take it so personally" he said shaking his head and walking into the washroom.

Chad just sighed and walked into the other room followed by Taylor Kelsey and Jason. I couldn't help but feel a little bad for troy's friends I mean clearly it was affecting them as much as it was effecting Gabi I mean not that I really cared how Gabi felt but I was not about to come between troy and his friends and that's what seems to be happening. Note to self: remind troy not to put his entire carton eggs in one basket.

"And the Oscar goes to?" sharpay said with her patented evil smile.

"Gabriella Montez" I said rolling my eyes.

"Really?" she asked confused.

"She did a great job of acting like she cared I couldn't come" I said giggling a little.

"A teen choice award nominee for biggest bitch in a high school drama at best" she said with her best sneer "but I already have that category stitched up trust me I can out bitch that little girl any day any place…. Don't let her bother you Ryan if she dose I'll just eat her"

"What's with you and eating people?"

"Well I am a mountain lion" she said walking into the other room.

After about five minutes of last minute primping everyone was out and gone to dinner except for me and the golden boy. Troy sauntered over to me wearing a sexy smile and reached out to take my hand.

"The group took the bus to some restaurant zeke recommended about ten minutes from here" troy said as I took his hand. He guided me to the door and we to left the room. "So I say we try a place close to the hotel"

"Why don't we just go to the hotel restaurant" I suggested. I didn't want to risk getting caught and at least if we where at the hotel bar and grill we could play it off like we just got hungry.

"If that's where you would like to go" he said smiling at me.

We reached the lobby still hand in hand. Once off the elevator I made to let go but found troy's grip tighten. I gave him and wondering look and he just shrugged. "I don't want to pretend tonight" he said. It made me nervous knowing that at any moment someone could see us and the idea of it getting back to one of our friends was too much to think about with out beginning to get a little paranoid.

Troy noticed my jumpy attitude and let go of my hand and put it on my back and began rubbing. "Just relax ry nothing is going to happen"

And true to his word nothing out of the ordinary happened. Troy sat back in his chair and breathed out after finishing his meal. I had finished mine before him and was also quite full. I was actually surprised at how much I enjoyed the meal I mean to be honest it wasn't one of the nicest hotels I had been to yet the food here far surpassed even the most ritzy of hotels I had stayed at.

"That was amazing" I said

"It was good wasn't it?" he said putting a handover his stomach "I hope Taylor wasn't serious about bringing us back food"

"Ah if she dose we can push it around a little bit and make it look like we ate it" I said

Troy let out a small giggle "you're so funny sometimes"

I could feel my face getting red as he smiled at me. It was like this was all sort of a dream how did this all happen how did I get so lucky to get exactly what I wanted. I mean there he was sitting there across form me smiling thinking about me loving me and never for a million years did I ever think it would get this good.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked

"How I got so lucky" I said

"Psh you aren't that lucky" he said completely serious "I'm the lucky one"

"I don't get it" I said shaking my head "I mean you always used to glare at me I thought you used to hate me"

"I never hated you I was just sort of jealous I mean you loved Gabi but you never talked to me and sometimes I thought that you actually liked her and it kind of made me upset" he said "I always dated Gabi just to keep up an appearance and I know it makes me sound like a jerk but I just didn't have it in my to hurt her"

"It seems like you don't have it in you to hurt anyone" I said smiling and grabbing his hand over the table "id say that's one of your best qualities"

"I have loved you for so long Ryan I just I… guess I just never had the guts to come out with it" he said "but then when you didn't get that scholarship to Julliard and decided to go to Berkley I knew it had to be a sign so I acted on it"

"And now we get to be more then just room mates" I said

"I'd like to hope so"

"You want to go back to the room?"

"Sure"

After troy generously paid the check we made are way back to the room and just lay on the bed watching TV. We didn't talk much but it was a comfortable silence for the both of us. A few hors later the group came back.

"No offence Ryan" Gabi said "but tonight I think I want to sleep with troy" she said not even trying to hide her sneer.

"Sure Gabi" I said forcing a smile.

Troy looked at me with a sympathetic yet completely hurt look. Way to ruin a perfect night I thought to myself. One thing is for sure now that everything was perfect there was no way I was going to let her win. Gabriella Montez you want a war? You got one.

A/N

ok so this chapter is a little longer then the others and i hope you enjoyed the well for lack of a better word ....sex. but yah i sliped some sharpay bitchyness in there to because for some reasson there is no one i like more then a bitch charecter who is on your side. the story is only going to get more intence and the next chapter involves more comeing out and like i said befor a time gap. i hope you liked it and i love the reviews i am getting for this stroy and a big hug the the one reader who seems to just love my stories **you know who you are** XD read and review :D


	10. Mascara stained eyes

highschool musicals story and its actors do not in any way belong to me i am just useing them in my awsome kick ass story they belong to the evil empire that is disney etc.

"Isn't it beautiful?" sharpay said as she looked at the beautiful view. It was quite breathtaking in my opinion I mean if I had to agree with my sister on anything it would have to be that I have never scene anything like it.

"It's amazing" Taylor said

"Spectacular" agreed Kelsey.

"It's a mall" Chad said shaking his head clearly not getting what the fuss was about

The group of us stood in the main entrance of the overly sized mall of America. Although we had only been on this trip for five days it felt as though we had been together for weeks. I was beginning to get annoyed with the rest of the group and by the rest of the group I mean Gabriella. After me and troy's amazing night ended on a sour note Gabi made sure that troy was never out of her sight. The whole next day found the group hanging around the hotel if troy went to work out Gabi would join him if he went swimming Gabi tagged along. And to say it annoyed me was an understatement.

That night we all went for dinner at the embassy bar and grill as me and troy had the night before which we both had a laugh about when we ordered the same thing we had ordered the night before. Gabi wasn't too impressed by our inside joke so for the rest of dinner she pretty much demanded his attention. All threw out he sent me apologetic gazes and weak smiles. And by the time we all went to bed I had barely talked to troy all day. Of Corse Gabi decided to sleep in the bed with troy yet again.

I never experienced this before usually when something makes me feel uncomfortable I can confront it head on but now it was like I couldn't do anything I was completely helpless to stop Gabi from ruining everything. In the eyes of society I am the one in the wrong no matter how much of a bitch she is. And it's not like I can tell her to stay away for troy that would not only out him but it would also let everyone know what he have been up to. I didn't like the feeling of not being able to even fight back.

After our stay in Lincoln we got back on the road where once again Gabi hung off of troy like a pair of cheep earrings the whole way to Minneapolis and once at the hotel continued to take up all of his time. But if I knew troy he wouldn't be able to stand it mush longer and I was right.

"How about the girls and the guys split up" Taylor suggested "that way we can go to stores we want to go to with out the guys complaining"

"I like that idea" Chad said earning a slap upside the head by Taylor "what? It was your idea"

"Actually I was hoping that me and troy could spend some time alone" Gabi said and instead of smiling sweetly she glared daggers at me. It's like she knew that her spending time alone with troy someone hit me right in the gut.

All of the girls but sharpay smiled and as if the idea was the cutest thing they ever heard and the guys just shrugged and nodded there heads agreeing with the idea. After observing Chad the last couple of days I had noticed that he was in a bad mood when troy and Gabi where arguing and he got progressively happier in the last few days noticing that they were spending more time together. Which to me shows me that troy was right about how Chad and the others like everything to be perfect and normal and them not being together would go against that. I can't say I would be surprised if when the time came for me and troy to reveal our relationship that he would be the first person to put up a sign of protest. I mean he even tried to break up troy and Gabi when they first started dating because things weren't going his way so who is to stop him from trying the same with me. But my head kept telling me that he was not a threat at least not once the summer was over.

"Gabi I think I would rather just hang out with the guys today" troy said

"What the hell troy?" she said offensively crossing her arms like a child throwing a tantrum "all I want is to spend time with you"

"Gabi we had dinner alone last night and we spent half of the trip here in the front together and now I just want to chill with the boys"

"Well I want you coming with me" she said with a finalizing tone.

Troy raised his eyebrows and stepped away from her "excuse me but since when do you tell me what I can and can't do?" troy said raising his voice offended. At this point any grin that was plastered on the others faces was wiped away and of course sharpays sneer was replaced by a satisfied smirk.

"I just want to spend time with the man I love is that so wrong?" she said with her patented everyone's against me pout.

"Well maybe that's just it" troy said "maybe I don't want to spend time with you anymore"

"You don't know what your saying troy" she said "we are in love we just are in a rut we can fix it if we just try"

"I know exactly what I'm saying Gabi" he said now lowing his voice back down to the sensitive voice he used when he was trying to be the nice guy " I cant lie to myself anymore I have been doing it for too long"

"We are not a lie you love me" she said

" no Gabi I don't I mean yeah at the beginning I liked you but I never loved you but I care about you enough to end this before I end up hating you we both saw this coming you know you did"

There were a number of thoughts going threw my head at the moment all of them good. The first was that troy was clearly breaking up with Gabi. The second was that I no longer had to feel guilty for loving troy and the third and best one of all was that it really showed that troy cared about me if he was going to put his neck on the line with his friends to be with me. It filled me up with pride knowing that I had him and that he was not only doing this for me but for himself as well.

"You don't care about me" she spat "if you did you would try harder to be with me"

"The last thing I want is for this to get ugly" he said in a serious tone "I think its time for the both of us to move on"

Instead of retorting which is what I expected her to do she just dropped her head and began quietly sobbing. Taylor and Kelsey both moved to comfort her but she held her hands out to stop them "don't touch me" she said angrily before turning around and exiting the mall.

"Dude" Chad yelled looking at troy "what the hell was that?"

"I don't love her" troy said not raising his voice.

"What do you mean you don't love her you going to Berkley for her of course you love her you cant just give up because of a few fights" Chad said.

"I wish people would stop telling me how I feel" troy said frustrated "because no one here knows what's best for me except for me so stop trying to make everything sound to catastrophic"

"It is though" Chad said "god everything was perfect for the two of you why screw it up?"

"Jesus Chad is there something you don't understand?" troy said "I don't love her and what looks perfect to others may not be what is perfect to me" he then said looking at me as his mouth turned up in a smile. Chad followed his gaze to me.

"Is this you're doing Evans?" he accused pointing his finger at me.

Oh crap this isn't good. My face began to get hot and redness formed in my cheeks as I was put on the spot. Thankfully as usual my sister the strongest back bone of the Evans family came to my rescue.

"Ok hold up Danforth" she said putting her hand up to stop his accusation "if you even remotely knew what was going on you would know that Ryan was confronted by both of them for advice on the situation he was only trying to help"

"Well a lot of good that did" he spat

"Who are you to call on that if I may ask?" sharpay said smirking "it's not your relationship so what dose it matter if it is over to you and if it's what troy wants what dose it have to do with you at all?"

"It matters because now everything will be different between all of us"

"It doesn't have to be "troy said

"Yeah right I'm sure Gabi just loves the idea of not being with you enough to storm out of a mal right?" Chad said sarcastically.

" who cares if she is upset about it…. we are all going to be going to university in about two months anyway nothing will ever be the same after that so who says troy rocking the boat a little bit early is a bad thing" she said " and further more what kind of friend are you ? Isn't troy's happiness more important to you then an image?"

"Wow sharpay I didn't know you were capable of caring about anyone but yourself" Chad shot at the blond.

"That's a fucking cheep shot and you know it Chad" zeke said defending his girlfriend.

"Well it's true she is only saying all this shit because now that troy is single she can lust after him again"

"Take that back" zeke said now getting in Chad's face. At this point Taylor stepped in between the two boys and Jason and sharpay began to speak heatedly. I tried to block out the raised voices and the people from around us watching the fight that had escalated way to far out of hand.

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" I heard from behind. I turned around to see Kelsey looking angry as ever. All other arguments stopped and we all looked at her shocked that the loud scream came from such a small body. "For gods sake you are all acting like children… if I wanted to here people argue all day I would have stayed home and listened to my mom and step dad. And as far as I am concerned troy did the right thing and seeing as how you are his best friend I thought you would have had his back no matter what but you couldn't see past your own selfish need for perfection to see that clearly troy wasn't happy being with Gabi"

Chad looked away from the small composer and crossed his arms.

"and troy as much as I agree that stringing Gabi along was not a good idea and I am glad that you ended it before it got worse I cant say it was the sharpest move to do it while we are all on a road trip together but over all I find it insulting that this group of people who have said time and time again that we are all in this together if falling apart so easily"

Kelsey was right about everything and it made me feel like a piece if shit. I couldn't see passed my selfish need for troy to see the consequences of getting what I wanted in the end. It was completely bitter sweet and now all I wanted to do was apologies to Gabi even if she was in the wrong. We were once good friends best even and I let a guy come between us… not that I didn't love troy nor did I blame him but If I had been smart and not gotten involved then fate would have taken its course and they would have broken up in time but I couldn't control myself enough to do it.

"Kelsey's right" I said looking at troy "we are all friends we are stronger then this and it was wrong for me to get involved at all"

"No Ryan you …" troy said

"No troy" I said cutting him off "I was playing both sides of the field and that was wrong and because of it I may have just lost one of my best friends"

Troy looked at me with a look of hurt in his eyes and as much as it hurt me to see that I couldn't let me cave if I did then it wouldn't make a difference what I said and for the first time since this trip started I wanted to actually mean what I said.

"I think I'm goanna go talk to Gabi" I said turning around and bolting before anyone else could say anything to stop me.

I made my way out of the mall and across the street to the Hilton hotel where we were staying. I quickly made my way inside and up to our Floor.

I found Gabi sitting on the pull away cot crying her eyes out. She noticed my arrival and glared at me threw her mascara stained eyes.

"Gabi came we talk?" I asked

"I have nothing to say to you" she said.

"Gabi listen you were right I was playing both sides of the field I was trying to help you both at the same time and that was wrong I should have just stayed out of it to begin with and maybe things wouldn't have ended like they did I just hope that out friendship is strong enough that we can move passed this" I said

Gabi looked up at me but her expression was unreadable. "You will never have him" she said smirking. That was the last thing I was expecting her to say I mean not that I completely expected her to throw her arms around me and apologies but I didn't expect this in all honesty I didn't even know what she meant.

"What?" I asked confused.

"You think I don't see the way you look at him Ryan" she said chuckling "your pathetic "

Oh no she couldn't know could she? This wasn't good here I was trying to give the both of us the benefit of the doubt and here she was confronting me about one of my biggest secrets.

"Just because we are over doesn't mean he will run into your arms…he's straight I would know"

A surge of anger filled me and I wanted nothing more then to throw myself at the stupid jealous girl. "You're a liar" I spat

" nope he took me at the end of the summer last year after the talent show… maybe I am not the only one who is delusional Ryan because if you think that now because we are finished that you some how have a chance at him then you are just as delusional"

"Why are you doing this?"I said in barely a whisper but she still understood me.

"Because troy is mine" she said "and so is his virginity" she then said in a cackle like laugh

I rushed from the room and onto the other one joining the two. Even though she was wrong and I did have troy I couldn't help but think about what Gabi had said. Did they really have sex even though troy had told me he was a virgin it was a possibility that I didn't even want to think about because not only would I never be able to share that special moment with him but because that would also mean he lied to me . I didn't want to believe that troy would do that but if it was true then what else could he have kept from me. And further more it's clear that Gabi knows I am not only gay but am in love with troy and it's only a matter of time before she tells every one and causes yet another rift between the group. At this point the tears where flowing from my eyes and the only word I could think at the moment I was …shit.

A/N ok so another chapter down and this one was so easey to right... sorry i dident update for a few days but i had a busy weekend so i managed to get one done today because i coudlent sleep. and as if gabi knowing that ryan is gay there will be another person finding out in the next chapter lets just hopethat he or she dosent conspire with gabi and ruin evreything. thats for the love for all the people who ahve revied with all of the amazinf feedback and i hope you all liked this chapter :D 


	11. Getting to the bottom of things

**highschool musicals story and its actors do not in any way belong to me i am just useing them in my awsome kick ass story they belong to the evil empire that is disney etc. XD**

I think it's safe to say that no one aside from sharpay had a good time in Minneapolis. Everyone refrained from speaking about what happened and tried to put on a good attitude and have fun but that was hard to do. I on the other hand spent the rest of the day thinking. At one point troy had come into the room and smiled at me but I didn't have it in me to return the smile and he took it as a sign that I was in no mood to talk.

God all I wanted was to have my friend back but clearly she didn't have the same idea instead she completely turned it around. Obviously she was more observant then I thought. And as much as it may have hurt troy to see me ignore him I had no other choice I didn't have the strength to stand there and look at him like nothing happened when in reality he may have just kept the biggest secret form me and at the moment it was something I just didn't want to talk about. So that left me to sit alone quietly.

"Hey Ryan" said Kelsey as she joined me in sitting on the bed "what's up?"

"Nothing" I said hoping that my voice didn't crack.

"Can we talk?" she asked

"Sure"

"Dose she know?" she asked putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Dose who know what?" I asked still not looking at her.

"Gabriella" she said "you and troy"

My head shot up to look at her wow was I really that obvious I needed to work on that.

"Was it really that obvious?"

"No not at all until today" she said shrugging "I mean I kind of had a hunch but I never acted on it because I thought it was just two guys being friends I didn't think troy was capable of doing something like that to anyone"

"So what set you off?" I asked

"the way he looked at you today right before Chad started in on you" she said "its like even in the middle of all the fighting and the shit if he could still look at you with like that then there had to be something going on and that's why I was glad he ended it because troy never gave Gabriella that look"

"I guess that makes sence" I said

"How long has this been going on? This crush"

"Well I have liked troy since well… grade 3" I said smiling thinking back "and from what troy has told me he has liked me since freshman year"

"That doesn't really explain why he and Gabi stayed together so long"

" the same reason I have been single forever" I said " neither one of us knew the other was gay and to hope was completely unrealistic so he settled for a girl that he did in fact like hoping that eventually it would go away and me well I knew if I couldn't have him then I didn't want anyone"

" and now that you both know how the other feels troy no longer had to string her along thinking that they had something" she said cracking a smile " and you finally get what you want"

"Yeah something like that" I said

"That's really romantic" she then said chuckling to herself "you know in a totally fucked up dramatic sort of way"

"Yeah well I just wish that I knew everyone could be as supportive as you and sharpay" I said shrugging "but I know that is never going to happen"

"That's not necessarily true" Kelsey said "I mean Chad will get over it he is troy's best friend after all"

"Yeah maybe your right" I said. The two of us sat there in complete silence for a few minutes before she turned back to me and started again.

"You didn't answer my question" she said "dose Gabi know?"

"About me and troy no… but about my possible crush on him yes" I said "I guess she put two and two together and realized that I liked troy more then just a friend"

"How though what would have led her to that conclusion?" Kelsey asked confused.

"Well I may have said some things that she didn't really want to here when she asked me for help on her relationship and after that she just hung off of troy making sure I never talked to him"

"What did you tell her?"

" exactly what troy did today that maybe its for the best if if you end it before you end up hating each other and she didn't take it well saying I poisoned his mind"

"I just don't get it you're her friend why would she be so cold"

" because Kelsey troy has become an obsession to her and she would throw anyone under the bus who tries to tell her different…no punt intended" I said " and as soon as she found out about my Cush it had less to do with wanting to spend time with troy and more about troy not spending time with me"

"I don't like that" Kelsey said. "It's not right it's sneaky and wrong"

"I know and all I tried to do today was give her the benefit of the doubt by trying to say I was sorry but she was hardly thrilled about that idea"

"What happened?" she asked

"Well she called me pathetic and said I had no chance at him"

"Well we know she is wrong there so why are you so upset about it?"

"She said she took his virginity" I said as if it physically hurt to let it out.

"Do you believe that?"

"I don't know what to believe" I said frustrated.

"Well all I know is I don't like the kind of person Gabi has become and maybe she just said it because she wants to cause problems"

"Do you think she's lying then?" I asked

"That's for you to decide" she said smiling "but asking troy might help"

Kelsey was right weather I wanted to or not the only way I would be able to move on was to know the truth I needed to talk to troy. As was his hotel ritual troy had gone to the hotel gym to work out I mean how else was he supposed to keep that great six pack. I left the room unnoticed by anyone else and made my way to the elevator.

I kept asking myself I could be truly upset with troy about this. I mean the idea of being his first and he being mine was something more wonderful then words could describe but could I really blame him for having sex with Gabi? I mean up until the beginning of the week none of us even knew how we felt for each other and troy had been with Gabi for a year and a half he could have had sex with her in that time and I couldn't exactly be mad about it no matter how nice it would have been to be his first.

But that's when it hit me I was spending so much time worrying about weather or not he was a virgin that I had completely forgot that he had told me he was. he had told me very embarrassingly if I may add that he was saving himself for me I remember how great it made me feel to here it the guy I have loved since the beginning saving his most precious gift for me and now it was all crashing down around me. Either troy is a liar or Gabi is a liar it can only be one of those possibilities and I was sure hoping that Gabi added lying to the list of bad habits she had picked up in the last few days. But what if it was troy could I really go on being with him knowing that he lied about something so important to me? I didn't really know what to do so it was no surprise that I was at a loss for words when I approached troy in the gym.

"Hey" he said pressing a button on the treadmill and hoping off "is there something wrong?" he asked obviously seeing the worried look on my face.

"Are you a virgin?" I blurted out without thinking.

Troy's eyebrows lifted in shock at the question" why would you think that?" he asked "I already told you I was saving myself for you"

"Why did Gabi say you had sex with her at the end of the summer last year?" I said completely unaccusingly.

"When did she tell you that?" he said nervously.

"In the room when I went back" I said in barely a whisper hanging my head. I was barely able to look at him, how did it come to this? I knew by his tone of voice that he was hiding something and that completely broke my heart. "Troy if you love me you will tell me the truth"

Troy threw his hands up in anger "god Ryan do you not have any faith in me at all?" he said beginning to passe back and forth in the empty gym. "I'm telling you the truth I never had sex with her we stopped before we went to far"

"You stopped? So you were going to have sex?" I said

He didn't reply to my question but I still knew the answer.

"I couldn't do it" he said eyes beginning to water. "Even if we never ended up together even if I could never have you I couldn't do it with someone else"

"Why didn't to tell me this?" I said

"Because I didn't think it mattered" he said voice rose. I jumped as he yelled this which he noticed. He stepped towards me and hugged me tight "I didn't want to hurt you"

I pulled away from him "I wouldn't have cared troy I didn't even know you felt the same how could I be angry or hurt that you had had sex"

"So why are you so pissed?"

"Because you lied to me" I said "you told me you were a virgin leaving out the specific detail that you had gotten intimate with her before you came to the conclusion that you didn't want to lose it that way"

" I'm sorry" he said once again pulling me into a hug " I was stupid I should have told you" he said with his arms around me rubbing my back " I love you Ryan"

"I love you to"

We stood there for a little while longer before letting go of each other and beginning to walk back to the room. "I don't want you ever letting Gabi get inside your head" he said "she sees you as a threat and she is only trying to dampen your hopes of ever getting me"

He stopped and stood in front of me putting his hands on my shoulders and looking into my eyes and I swear I have never scene him look so sincere. "But what she doesn't know is that you already have me and I have you and as long as we both know that it doesn't matter what she says or thinks"

"I know "I said confidently.

"That's my Ryan" he said letting go and giving my hand a squeeze before getting into the elevator.

We got back to the room to find a more cheerful group then we had left all getting ready to go down to the pool. Me and troy quickly changed to follow. The only person who didn't include herself in the festivities was Gabi. It was no sweat off my back if she didn't want to come. Troy and the others left while I finished changing. I exited the bath room to find Gabi standing there with a smirk.

"I guess acting really is your calling" she said with a mean girl sneer.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

" pretending everything is a hunky dory when really inside you are heart broken that the boy you love will never feel the same way" a look of satisfaction graced her face and now it was time for me to knock her fat ass down a peg.

" you know what Gabi you can say whatever you want to me but that wont change the fact that what you had with troy is over" I said mirroring her sneer " cause no matter what you do say troy will still be sleeping in my bed tonight weather he feels the same or not"

Her jaw dropped " well clearly you are more like your sister then we all thought"

"I guess that would make two of us" I said "the only difference is I'm no longer the ninth wheel" and with that I left Gabriella standing there staring at me as I went to have fun at the pool with the others.

THE END

lol just kidding its far from the end of this story but it is the ned of gabi and troys relationship i liked this chapter because the last one dident have alot of ryan troy interaction so it was really easy to write but just to let you know the next chapter will be the last before i do a little jumping ahead because like realisitcly if they are suposed to be on a road trip for the better part of the summer and i have writen 11 chapters consisting of only five days then at this rate there will be like 100 chapters and that might take me a while so yes after the next chapter i will be jumping ahead at least a week. thansk for all the suport read and review:D


	12. Against all odds

**highschool musicals story and its actors do not in any way belong to me i am just useing them in my awsome kick ass story they belong to the evil empire that is disney etc. XD**

The next morning I was snuggled up to troy under the covers of the bed. It was a luxury that I had missed over the last few days but now I didn't need to worry because it would be very rare for the rest of the trip to not sleep next to him. Even though the evidence was sleeping peacefully right beside me I still had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming. His legs where intertwined with mine and arm was placed gently on my waist. His head was almost completely engulfed in the blankets except for a spot of dark brown hair on top of the pillow. Although it was an odd position to be sleeping in I don't think I had ever slept more comfortably.

Unfortunately my comfort was short lived again as Taylor came threw the door separating the two rooms in a panic. "Guys get up Gabi is gone" she said

Troy's body moved next to mine and his hand traveled up my waste to rest on my chest seconds later his head emerged from under the covers and he wiped his eyes." good morning" he said stretching his arms " what was that you said Taylor?"

"Gabi's gone" she said "she left a note on her bed and took off"

"What? Why the hell would she do that" sharpay said for her bed across the room.

"Because of yesterday no doubt" Taylor said

"Well what dose the letter say?" I asked

Taylor dropped a piece of paper onto my side of the bed then sat down at the foot of the bed. I unfolded the piece of paper and started reading.

_I have had a lot of time to think and I have come to the conclusion that it is time for me to go home. And by home I mean back to California to my mom. It's clear that any hope I had of still being with troy is gone and there is no use in me driving around the country on a bus being depressed and embarrassing myself. There is nothing for me here anymore and that's why it's for the best that I just move on. Those of you who matter enough will here from me again but for the most part this is goodbye good like in your future endeavors. _

_-Gabi- _

_p.s. Ryan I'm sorry _

That last part caught me completely off guard after all of the fights and the drama is was apologizing. Was she serious or was this an I'll be back moment. I didn't really know how to respond to it I mean she had said some pretty hateful things to me so you can't really blame me for not believing she truly is sorry.

"Well I guess that's …interesting" I said not knowing really what to say.

"What did she say?" troy asked.

I passed the note to troy who took a few moments to read it before looking at me with a blank expression. And in all honesty I returned that same look. I mean not that I didn't enjoy knowing that I wouldn't have to deal with the drama that was sure to come but I was fully expecting her to wage war on my with the rest choosing sides which would eventually ruin friendships. But instead she bowed out and left like actually left to go home never to be scene again seeing as how she had moved away from New Mexico. And even though I should be happy that I had troy all to myself I couldn't help but have this feeling of loss. Gabi and I used to be good friends and sure some things were said but now she was gone and I would more then likely never see the girl again and that didn't sit well with me.

"Well at least she said sorry" troy pointed out.

"Yeah there's the silver lining of the year" sharpay chimed in

"I can't believe her" Taylor said shaking her head "she just leaves? Leaving a half assed excuses for a note we deserve better then that" it was clear Taylor was offended by Gabriella's abrupt departure from the trip but she was trying hard not to show how angry she was. I on the other hand let my annoyance known which troy noticed throughout the day.

After a lot of shopping that couldn't get done the day before we had all met up for lunch. After that we decided to all go our separate ways so the couples could spend alone time with each other which left me with troy. What most of the others didn't know was that me and troy were in fact a couple so it's not like we where all that angry about being left alone it just meant that we didn't have to try.

We walked along in silence for the first few minutes but I knew what was coming and sure enough troy stopped and looked at me.

"Ryan what's wrong?" he said smiling lightly at me. God his smile was like kryptonite one flash of his pearly whites and I was completely vulnerable which I didn't like being but I didn't care. That was another thing his smile did it made everything else seem completely less important.

"I don't know" I said and it wasn't exactly a lie I really didn't know why I felt so bad about what had happened.

"I would have thought that after this morning you would be over the moon" he said

"Well I know in theory I should be but in my gut I have a feeling of uneasiness like it all ended wrong" I said shrugging "I don't know"

"The only other way it could have ended was badly" troy said "her leaving was probably they best way it could have ended"

" how could you think that" I said " we could have worked it out there is always a way and now she's gone home with a lot of people angry at her and I just feel like there was so much I could have said to her that maybe could have called off the dogs"

"Ryan relax she apologized to you and now you don't have to deal with her"

"It just doesn't feel right"

Troy completely stopped walking now and stood in front of me like he had before and put both of his hands on my shoulders while looking straight into my eyes. " Ryan listen to me… there was no way the outcome could have turned out better she wouldn't have stopped hounding me or you for that matter and now neither of us has to walk around on egg shells feeling guilty about loving each other"

"Your right" I said admitting defeat. Troy always had a way to make anyone he talked to cave and as mush as he would like to believe it was his amazing way with word which I cant deny was amazing about 90% of it was the heart melting look he gave you when he was trying to make you feel better or persuade you. "But contraire to what you may think near the end I don't think it was even about you anymore I think it was more about hating me"

"Nope I'm pretty sure it was all me" troy said laughing

"Oh please you're not that great" I said pushing him away playfully.

"Hey" he said in mock sadness "that was below the belt"

"Well speaking of below the belt… that's one place that I'm sure makes up for your not greatness" I said moving closer to him. Troy slid his arm around my waste and pulled me close.

"Thanks? I think" he said "was that an advert?"

"Maybe" I said not letting anything on.

"Do I have to get emotionally tortured before I get what I want?"

"If my entertainment means anything to you then yes"

Troy laughed "I love you Ryan"

"You should I'm pretty awesome" I said. But I barely got that out before his lips were locked to mine. It had been a while since I had been able to share a kiss with troy at least one like this and it was every bit as a amazing as I had hoped for. In that instant there was no one else except for me and him and kissing in love two souls together at last. They say that no mater who you are with there is always someone better for you out there but not for me I feel like I have reached the top of my list and there was no one else. Troy was my past present and future and ever believing that I wouldn't ever have him almost seemed foolish. Against all odds I got my one wish and I was ready to take full advantage of it.

Then reality kicked into gear and I realized that we were standing in the middle of a busy mall. My eyes shot open and I pulled out of the kiss.

"Wow" I said

"That good?" he asked biting his lip clearly wanting to kiss some more.

I looked around me to see if anyone had seen which was obvious there was no way we had kissed for that long with no one else noticing. Once I saw that most of the people around us where unfazed I turned back to troy and smirked "I guess it was ok"

"Your killing me" he said rolling his eyes.

We continued to walk hand in hand threw the malls and stop off at stores we liked well it was mostly stores I liked not that was neither here nor there. I explained that if he wanted to be scene with me next year in university that he would have to upgrade his wardrobe so I had him in and out of change rooms for the duration of the day. By the time we all met back up we had almost as many bags as sharpay did.

" wow we almost gave you a run for your money" troy said as we approached a bench to find a spent looking zeke hanging his head back and looking up at the roof as sharpay filed her nails next to hm.

She looked at are bags and let out a loud HA "as if… I had zeke bring back some of my bags to the room about an hour ago"

"Well can't blame a guy for trying" troy said

"What did you buy anyway?"

"Ryan felt that I was lacking in style and had me buy half the mall "troy said rolling his eyes.

"No truer words were ever spoken" she said smirking

"If that's how you are going to be then I will see to it Ryan doesn't make it home for Christmas break" troy said.

Sharpay gasped in horror "you wouldn't"

"I can be very convincing" he said winking at me.

At that moment Chad and Taylor and Kelsey and Jason walked over.

"New threads?" Chad asked troy as he approached.

"Yeah it was Ryan's idea" troy said smiling ear to ear.

" of coarse it was" Chad said rolling his eyes but not in the sarcastic way but it the not impressed with the fact that you have been spending so much time with Ryan sort of way. He didn't know I saw the eye roll but I did. Just when I thought all the drama was over I had to get the cold shoulder from Chad now to I guess it would be too much to hope for to have everyone happy at the same time.

"I don't care whose idea it was because if I don't get out of this mall soon I may drop dead" zeke said.

"You do know who you're dating right?" I said giggling

"Of course "he said sighing "you don't think your sister would let me date her without first filling me in on the ritualistic way she shops

"Ok just for that you're in the dog house" sharpay said beginning to walk towards the exit of the mall "grab my bags".

All four of the wildcats shared a look before following there ladies out of the mall.

A/N

so yeah gabi is gone but she will make another aperance in this story at the end. like i said before the stroy is going to jump ahead a bit and i just wantedto know seeing as how the people who review the stroy are my insparation to continue writing it i wanted to know if there was any perticualr plase on the east coast that you would like me to write into the story" i hope you enjoyed this installment read and review:D


	13. Parental mind games

**highschool musicals story and its actors do not in any way belong to me i am just useing them in my awsome kick ass story they belong to the evil empire that is disney etc. XD**

Since the Minneapolis drama with Gabi and troy breaking up and her leaving to go home the trip had gone completely unhitched. We had just crossed the Canadian border into a town called Windsor Ontario and were on are way to Niagara Falls. It was troy's idea to make a stop at the falls and who was I to question it I had never been there in my entire life but troy went on about it like it was beyond amazing I guess I would just have to take his word for it.

"I don't understand why we had to come to Canada just to get to Niagara Falls" Chad said.

"Well aside from it cutting off about 3 hours of driving all of the tourist stuff is on the Canadian side of the falls" troy said.

"All of this stuff looks so cool I had no idea Niagara falls was more then just a waterfall" said Kelsey from behind a lap top. "Especially this Clifton hill it seems to me the biggest tourist attraction."

"Yeah it's right in the middle of everything "troy said "we have to stay in a hotel around there that way we are close to the maid of the mist"

"What the hell is a maid of the mist" Chad asked.

"It's a boat that takes you down to the falls" troy said excitedly.

"Yeah like I'll be caught dead on that" sharpay said

"Ahh no it's so fun" troy said enthusiastically

"Ok dude you are getting a little too existed" Chad said putting a hand on troy's shoulder as to stop him from jumping up and down.

"I can't help it I haven't vacationed here since I was like ten" he said.

"Well I think it looks fun" I said peering over Kelsey's shoulder at the website she was looking at "but if your think I am going on that giant sky wheel you are sadly mistaken"

"Oh I'll get you on it" troy said shoving me playfully. I blushed and caught a look from Chad. Even though the trip had gone unhitched since Gabi left didn't mean the drama was completely over. Ever since Gabi had left I had received the cold shoulder from Chad. I had no idea what it was but he seemed to let it show more anytime troy would get at all affectionate of me. I tried my best to ignore it but how could I troy and Chad were so close and the last thing I wanted was for troy to push someone else away at my expense. But for now I would just play it off like I had no idea at least until u knew what his problem was.

Zeke came from the from where Jason was busy driving "ok so since you are so existed how about you drive the last leg of the trip" he said

"Yeah that way I can have a nap" Jason yelled.

XxXxXxX

I shut the door and sat down in the passenger seat next to troy. He had been driving for about half an hour and I had gotten sick of receiving glares from Chad.

"Hey babe" he said kissing me on the cheek. That will never get old I thought as I touched the place where he left the kiss.

"Nothing" I said shrugging.

"Just wanted to spend time with your awesome boyfriend?"

"Is that what we are?"

"I'd sure as hell hope so or else breaking up with Gabi was all for not" he said

"Hey" I said punching him in the arm "I was just wondering I mean it's not like we have really talked about it"

"What needs to be talked about me and Gabi are over so we can be together" he said

"Well I just wanted to clarify that you didn't break up with Gabi for me you did it for yourself" I said.

"Would it put your conscience at ease if I said yes?" he said sighing

"Not if it wasn't the truth" I said "I just need to know that you are in this as much as I am that you want this as much as I do"

He turned to me and smiled his gorgeous sensitive smile "I want you more then anything Ryan but you need to stop over analyzing everything"

"Maybe I don't like the feeling of being the reason for a couple with so much history braking up" I said

"We may have had history but that doesn't mean we where happy" he said

"But that doesn't make what we did any more right"

"Ryan it's not that big a deal" he said

Troy didn't get it as much as we had talked about it in the past week we always ended up in the same place. I knew that I would never feel right about how everything ended and he thought it couldn't have ended better. It doesn't matter how much of a bitch Gabi had been what I did being with troy while they were still together happy or not was wrong and it would always feel wrong. But for troy it was like I didn't even faze which is even worse because he was the one who dated her for a year and a half I was only a friend. I mean did he really care that little about the girl he gave a huge part of his life to?

" can we just not talk about it I want to be happy with you on a trip with our friends and not think about what could have happened" he said moving his hand up to my neck " can we stop talking about it?

"Sure" I said in a defeated tone. Weather he liked it or not we would talk about this again.

"I love you" he said smiling.

"I love you to"

"So are you ready yet?" he asked

This was yet another conversation me and troy had shared over the last week. He had been relentless in his attempt to have the two of us come out together. And as much as I would love for that to happen now was definitely not the time. For one the whole group was on edge because of Gabi hoping on plane back to California only leaving a short note to explain and the second was it was way too soon after they broke up in the first place. And knowing the brood of wild cats I'm sure the finger of blame would fall on me. There was no way I was going to let Chad sit there and tell me how I am the reason they broke up that I had hypnotized him and ruined there relationship. I love troy but I wasn't about to subject myself to that kind of negative energy I think it would be better left said once we got home when we weren't on a bus with six other people.

"Troy how may times do I have to tell you" I said frustrated.

" its to soon yeah I know but I don't want to hide Ryan do you know how bad I want to pull you into a hug or hold your hand while we are all together but I cant because as far as everyone else knows we aren't together"

"I get that but what do you think the reaction will be?" I said "everyone will just jump for joy"

"Well Kelsey and sharpay already know and they don't mind" he said "and what's the worst that could happen"

"But troy do you really think now when we are all stuck together on a bus is the right time to tell everyone that you're gay and even more seeing me who oh guess what is also gay"

" I don't care what they think …all I want to do is be with you" he said I couldn't stifle an eye roll which he returned with a hurt look " I feel like your not being serious do you not want this or something?"

At that point it all seemed too real this was really happening troy was really my boyfriend and he was really sitting here asking me to come out to the world. Even though the people in his life would not like it his father and basket ball he was willing to give up on all of that for me and here I was sitting in a situation I have only ever dreamed about and I was to stubborn to do it? Hell no was I going to lead troy on this is what I have waited for so long not a chance I am going to ruin it.

"If there is one thing I want you to know for sure its how much I want this how much I have wanted this and I'm not going to fake it troy I care about you to much to lead you on"

Troy didn't respond to that but instead a smile slowly spread across his face. "So…?"

"So name the date"

Troy P.O.V

This was too great Ryan had made his way to the back to join the others after are talk and I could hardly contain my excitement at his agreeing to come out with me. God I love him so much… and he was all mine and I didn't have to hide my love for him not anymore. I couldn't wait for the moment I could hold his hand proudly calling him mine. The thought of it brought me back to the first person I ever came out to.

Xx F.B xX

I walked into the front door of my house after getting home from a date with Gabi. Dates these days were becoming more and more pointless all we did was go to a movie eat popcorn and leave. Of course we kissed at the end and we held hands as we went but it made me ask how someone who gets such good grades could be so clueless. We had completely stopped talking about anything. I would pick her up we would go to dinner we would go to a movie I would drop her off and leave. But never would we talk like we used to. I just didn't have the strength to try anymore. I mean I loved Gabi don't get me wrong but I knew since the beginning of last summer that I wasn't in love with her.

So thank god Ryan and Chad showed up at the coffee shop after the bating cages or else I would have spent another date night in silence.

Of course Ryan and me chirped each other the whole night but that was just because I didn't really know how to talk to him I mean how do you talk normally to someone you have been in love with for a whole year? I talked to Chad mostly and Gabi and Ryan of coarse gossiped as usual and by the end of the date it was not even a date anymore it was a sort of group thing.

So I couldn't help but have a huge grin on my face as I collapsed onto the couch in my living room.

"Well I don't think I have scene you this happy after a date with Gabi in a long time" mom said from a chair "why the sudden change in attitude"

"I have no idea what you're talking about"

"Lately troy you have been treating dating Gabi like a chore and now here you are after a date chipper as ever I don't get it"

"Gabi and I are fine mom you worry too much"

"Right"

"Ok do you have something to say?" I asked bluntly I was in no mood for parental mind games.

"Are you in love with Gabriella?" she asked completely serious.

I didn't know what to say I wanted to say yes but I knew it would be a lie I knew that I wasn't. My heart belongs to someone else and I couldn't even tell her. I didn't say anything.

"That's what I thought" she said nodding satisfied with herself "troy I'm not going to tell you how to live your life but in my opinion if you don't love her then you shouldn't lead her on especially if she dose love you"

"I…" at this point I didn't know what to say this was not the kind of conversation I should be having with my mother.

"Why don't you love her?"

"I … I can't" I breathed out in little more then a whisper.

"Why cant you?"

I didn't say anything

"troy I love you and I want us to be an honest family I don't want our relationship to be built on lies because that will only cause a rift and before we know it we wont even be able to speak at all without walking on egg shells" she said resting her hand on my shoulder "so if there is anything you wanted to say if there is anything at all you know I am always here"

And that's when I knew. My mother was no dummy she was as perceptive as they come and among other things she had figured out my biggest secret. Before I knew it tears were forming and falling from my eyes.

"I'm ….I'm sorry" I sobbed out

"You have nothing to be sorry for troy" she said pulling me into a hug

"I tried to love her I really did but I couldn't "

"And that is fine troy it's not your job to impress anyone. don't worry about what other people say what society says the people who matter don't mind and the people who mind don't matter troy I love you and if your gay then I wont troy to change you that's not how I was raised and that's not how your father was raised."

I was so caught up in my emotions that I had forgotten about my dad I'm sure he wouldn't be to thrilled about this no matter what my mom said. Oh god this wasn't how I wanted it to be I didn't want to be sitting here coming out to my mom. I was so pathetic dating a girl that I didn't love hoping that my feelings for him would go away damn you Ryan for doing this to me damn you for stealing my heart.

"I see the way you look at him" she said "I have for a very long time"

"He doesn't like me he hates me" I said wiping the tears from my cheeks "he has never liked me he likes Gabi"

"Troy sometimes people mask there true feelings with distain just as you do with Ryan in hopes that your feelings will pass" she said. Sometimes I forgot how smart my mom was.

"Well I can tell you it doesn't work" I said with a small laugh.

"That's how you know your feelings are true"

"So you're actually ok with this?"I asked skeptically even though she seemed to be on board with every thing she could have been shell shocked still.

"troy let me tell you about something I have learned in my life as a nurse" she said "there have been times where I would have to see woman come into my hospital bruised and beaten from there husbands I have had to pull the blanket over the bodies of men and woman alike who were killed for the plain and simple fact that they are homosexual"

I wasn't quite following what she was saying but I didn't interrupt

"there is a lot of hate in this world troy but none so much as for the gay community" she said pausing "a common man would never dream of calling an African American the n word nor would he call a man with autism a retard for fear of being labeled ignorant but that same man would call a friend a fag for doing something silly or acting out of character"

"That same man who would pride himself for not being ignorant to other races or people with handy capabilities but would use a word so degrading completely out of context and not realize how many people suffer that treatment every single day because of how they were born"

"and society says that gays shouldn't be able to marry that it is something that should be shared between a man and a woman but what I ask is this" she said "why is it that a man who beats his wife and a woman who goes out every night and cheats deserves to take part in a ritual so intimate and sacred yet two men or two woman who love each other more then the cheating wife or the abusive husband will ever know don't have that right? Because of small minded ignorance and it's the people who know that who are the people who truly matter in the world"

" you are an amazing person no matter who you love troy I know that so to answer you question yes I will always be ok with who you are"

I couldn't say anything how anyone could follow that is beyond me… I felt more tears forming in my eyes and I began to cry into my moms shoulder.

XxXxXxX

I didn't realize I was crying when I snapped out of my daze I really needed to not do that when I was driving. Thinking about what my mother said made me think I hadn't thought about that conversation for a long time and now I was filled with an almost illness in the pit of my stomach.

I was a monster

Now I know how Ryan feels he has been trying to convince me for the passed few weeks that what we were doing is wrong and I wouldn't here it I didn't get why he got so bent out of shape but the reason was right before my eyes.

How could I ever think I could be a good person doing what I did after what I had been told my mother? There's a lot of hurt in this world and I had just caused so much more by lying and cheating so I could be a happier person so I could finally get what I want but at what cost going against everything I believed in going against everything I said I would never do. Ryan was right… what we were dong is wrong and asking him to come out was just as wrong once again I was putting my own wants over the people I claim to care about.

I am a monster. … And I don't deserve him.

A/N

ok so i found myself crying while writing this and the next chapter. i think i am getting a little to into my own story. anyway there is a reason i gave troy a P.O.V in this chapter and you will find out in the next chapter why that is. this was a hard chapter to write i seem to have chapter 13 syndrom i have two other stories that i took a break on at this same chapter so thats why it took longer then usual to have up but dont worry i am out of my rut and am ready to write some more of this fic. this is also a much longer chapter then most but thats also has to do with the troy p.o.v anyway i hope you liked it and i hope you all review :D


	14. Please

**highschool musicals story and its actors do not in any way belong to me i am just useing them in my awsome kick ass story they belong to the evil empire that is disney etc. XD**

Ryan p.o.v

After a very long drive on troy's part we arrived at Niagara Falls. And I was happily surprised at what we found it was like a mini g rated Vegas. It looked like a theme park all most. I couldn't look away for a second as we drove down the heavily crowded street.

"This is Clifton hill" Kelsey said also looking out the window.

"Wow I can tell you now this is not what I was expecting" Chad said "it's a hell of a lot cooler then the picture I had in my head"

Once we reached the bottom of the hill I had gotten my first glimpse of the falls. Of coarse I had scene pictures and who could ever forget about the stellar Marilyn Monroe classic Niagara but to see it in real life was like nothing I had ever scene before. I had to give troy credit he picked an awesome place to visit.

Troy stopped the bus on the street in front of a large hotel sharpay as usual pushed for the nicest hotel closed to everything and also managed to get us fall view rooms. Leave it to my sister to not leave any dime unspent. It only made me wonder how pissed our dad would be when he saw is platinum card bill.

Once we parked and checked in we arrived at our rooms.

"Wow" Taylor said looking out the large window at the waterfalls "this is beautiful"

"I got to hand it to you wild cat this is pretty awesome" I said giving troy a warm smile which he returned with a forced grin. Now if it weren't for my years of acting experience I wouldn't have noticed that the smile was forced but being an Evans the second I saw that I knew something was up. But I didn't push if he wanted me to know he would have told me what was wrong. If he was anything like me then he was probably homesick.

"And the best part is drinking age nineteen baby" Jason said jumping on the bed "thank god I am a spring baby"

"God Jason do you always have to act so Neanderthal?" sharpay said walking into the room and dropping her bags in shock at the view "oh my god It's beautiful troy you're a genius"

"Is she being nice? Someone get a camera" Chad said.

"Yeah and after we can take pictures of my foot going up your ass" she said grilling Chad.

"It was nice while it lasted" he retorted.

"I'm just happy I look exactly like my sister or else I would be shit out of luck" Kelsey said

"Don't you mean shit out of drink?" Jason said laughing at his own joke. Everyone else in the room including me groaned. "What?"

"So it's almost night fall… how about dinner?" sharpay said jumping up and down

"Sounds great where do you want to eat?" zeke chimed in

"We passed a Boston pizza on are way in on the hill it will give us an excuse to take a look around" Kelsey said.

"What do you think troy I mean you're the expert" I said looking at troy

Troy was looking out the window not paying attention to what anyone was saying "wha… what did you say ry" he said zoning in again

"I said do you want to eat at Boston pizza?"

"Yeah sure whatever" he said nodding but still clearly in no mood to talk.

"ok pizza it is then" I said glumly I don't know why but seeing him in a bad mood made me feel bad I don't know what it is but I knew I needed to talk to him.

The group of us left the room and I held Tory back to talk. "Ok so what's up?" I asked wasting no time.

"Nothing why would you think something was up" he said forcing yet another smile. Ok buddy do you know who I am?

"16 years of acting under my belt and a lot of time staring at you from afar" I said completely serious. He cracked a real smile this time and I began to feel warm who would have thought a small gesture of him smiling would do that to me. It just showed how much he cared as far as I am concerned. "I jut thought that you would be a little bit more existed seeing as how this was your idea"

"Ryan" he said stopping "I am existed I really am"

"Then why the zoning out and forced smiles?" I asked he didn't say anything "c'mon this is me your talking to you know you can tell me anything"

"I know but there's nothing to tell" he said "I guess I'm just missing home"

"We are all entitled to have an off day" I said squeezing his hand "just remember that I love you and I'm here if you need somebody to talk to"

"I'll always come to you first" he said smiling. I placed a kiss on his cheek. He blushed and we continued to walk. Sure someone might have scene us but it eh who cares we were going to come out soon anyway.

Over all the night played out well. We all got served at the bar in Boston pizza and before we knew it we where in the line up for the sky wheel to say I was unimpressed was an understatement. Anyone who knew me knew that heights weren't my thing. In fact I hated them but that didn't stop them from trying to get me on it. All of the couples decided that they wanted to go alone so that left me and troy. I guess that was sort of another silver lining if I was going to be going on a giant wheel hundreds of feet above the ground at least I could hold on to troy for dear life till we get off.

Speaking of my favorite person in the world he was still in a crappy mood. I was passed thinking that he was home sick. He had moped the whole night hadn't had a single drink and had barely talk to anyone aside the rare word to me. It was time to get to the bottom of troy's bad attitude.

"Ryan it's not that bad" troy said reaching out a hand as I stepped into the little cart the doors shut and I sat down.

"See its not that bad it has lights and music if you want its safe no need to worry"

I felt my stomach do flips as the wheel began to move but I didn't panic I knew troy wouldn't bring me on something that wasn't safe.

"Troy" I said looking at him

He smiled at me but once he saw my face his smile turned to an almost worried look.

"What's going on?" I asked

"What do you mean?" he said avoiding my eyes.

"You're not home sick are you?"

Troy didn't respond to my question but it didn't matter I had my answer "troy what's really wrong and why did you lie to me?"

"I have to go" he said in a whisper.

I herd him but I wasn't sure if I had herd him correctly " what?"

"I have to go" he said louder now not looking at me still as he said it. I wasn't sure what he meant when he said it.

"Like you need to go off of the ride?"

"No Ryan" he said his eyes beginning to glaze over "I need to go home"

I understood what the words meant but for some reason I didn't understand what they meant. I sat there like an idiot wondering what it was he was saying "I don't … troy I need you to be more specific"

"This isn't working" he said tears falling from his eyes.

I could feel the blood fuss form my face and tears form in my eyes as I hopped and prayed that he wasn't saying what I think he was saying. My fear of heights left me at that moment for a grater fear took its place. "What…?" I barely let out

"I can't be with you Ryan" he said shaking "I have to go home"

"Why" I asked trying to make him look at me

"I don't deserve you" he said

"I don't understand" I said drawing at straws "I don't get it why I…" my mind was swimming with things I could say but I couldn't form words

"I realized to day that I am a horrible person" he said sniffing "I have to go home to figure stuff out"

"I could come I could come and we can do it together"

"I have to do this on my own"

"We were both wrong troy"

"No" he said raising his voice "I did this I was selfish and I was wrong and I broke someone's hart to get what I want and thought I could live with it I did things I thought I would never do and I brought you down with me and I don't deserve to have you"

The doors to the wheel opened and troy darted out and down the stairs. I could barely think as I followed him passed a group of our happy friends whose faces all switched from happy and existed to worry as they saw my tears.

"Shouldn't I be the judge of that" I cried after him as he walked away. I ran up to him and grabbed his arm trying to pull him back "please troy dot go I don't care if you think you don't deserve me I love you" but he wouldn't here any of it. I could here others approach and knew that the group had caught up but I didn't care. "Please don't go you can't leave me I need you"

"I have to" he said as he pulled out of my grip

" please what ever I did what ever we did we can fix it together just don't leave me here troy" I found myself screaming as he walked away from me " please " I collapsed to the ground. And cried into my hands. This couldn't be happing it couldn't be over I had to get back to him there was still time. He didn't know what he was doing. I jumped to my feel and ran after troy.

"Ryan" sharpay yelled from behind me as she chased me threw the crowds of people watching. "Ryan stop"

"Troy" I yelled "please come back… I love you please come back"

" Ryan" sharpays said crying as she grabbed my wrist and pulled me into a hug " he's gone" black mascara flowed down her face as she embraced me in a tight hug " I'm sorry" she sobbed. I felt another hand on my shoulder as I cried into sharpays but I didn't pay it any mind I couldn't the only thing that was going threw my mind was troy. Troy. Troy. I couldn't even think of anything I could say I tired to think of what had just happened but the same thought always come to my mind. Troy. Troy. Troy.

A/N

i know i know this sucks but it has to be this way. so yeah thats why i added troys p.o.v cause now its going to be told from both them and another person fromt the group hets a p.o.v but i will let you find out who that is next chapter. and since it took me longer to get the last chapterup i disided to put this one up earelyerthen i had planed because i am an awsome kick ass guy. i hope you enjoyed if not i'm sorry but its just not romance without a few bumps in the road read and review :D


	15. The truth

**highschool musicals story and its actors do not in any way belong to me i am just useing them in my awsome kick ass story they belong to the evil empire that is disney etc.**

Sharpay p.o.v

Troy was of coarse gone when I got Ryan back to the hotel room. The others weren't far behind but I felt I needed to get Ryan secure enough for the rampage of questions that were sure to be on the way about what just happened. I didn't even know what had happened but I was sure of one thing. Troy Bolton may be the biggest ass hole in the world.

I thought there were ok Ryan had told me himself he was happier then he had ever been so why would he do that why would he break my brothers heart. It just proved my point that troy wasn't as different as everyone thought he was just like every other guy. Ryan quickly went into the washroom and locked the door.

"Ryan" I yelled banging on the locked door "ry you can't just lock yourself in the bathroom"

Before he could even respond the door opened and the herd of wildcat testosterone filed in all looking unimpressed.

"Sharpay what the hell is going on" said Chad." Where is troy?"

"He's gone" I said

"What happened what your brother did?" he accused. Ok that's enough Ryan had told me about Chad's problem and I had had just about enough of Chad myself.

"What makes you think that Ryan did something wrong?" I yelled

"How do you explain him crying threw the streets and troy just leaving?" he snapped

"It's not my place" I said quietly looking away. I know I had said that he was on his own but I didn't think it would end like this. God this was messed up and as much as I wanted to fill everyone in I was not about to betray my brothers trust I had done that a year ago and he was just starting to come around I wasn't about to do it again.

"What the hell dose that mean and for that matter why was he yelling that stuff?" Chad asked "is he gay or something?"

I didn't say anything but Chad was really starting to piss me off. I looked around the room and everyone one else was looking at me expecting me to say something but at the moment I couldn't say a thing.

"Sharpay what's going on?" zeke said walking closer to me.

"Troy left because Ryan came on to him or something" Chad said angrily "that's what happened"

"Would you just shut up for a second Chad" Kelsey yelled.

"Well someone throw me a bone"

"Yes Ryan is gay" she said throwing her hands up "is that what you wanted?" she yelled "god you have no idea what's going on so you have no right to jump to conclusions"

"What and you do?" he barked back

"Yes I do" she said just as loud and clear. She glance at me and shrugged "there goanna find out sooner or later" she said to me. As much as I didn't want to I knew I she was right it was time for me to tell the truth weather Ryan hated me for it or not.

"Ryan's gay … and so is troy" I said

There was a loud gasp from Taylor and Jason's jaw almost dropped to the ground.

"That's bull troy's not gay maybe your brother is but not troy" Chad said shaking his head.

" wake up Chad" I said " don't you see the way they look at each other the way they talk to each other if you don't then clearly the title of best friend should fall on someone else"

"Why do you think he broke up with Gabi?" Kelsey asked

Chad didn't say anything but I could see the look of sudden realization on his face. He knew we where right weather he liked it or not. "But how… he never even told me" he said shaking his head "why didn't he tell me I'm supposed to be his best friend"

"Fear it's not exactly something you want to have to tell someone" Taylor said.

"I just don't get it" Jason said "I never would have guessed"

"That still doesn't explain why he left" zeke said

"Well that is something only Ryan knows" I said "whatever happened on that wheel between them set troy off"

"We have to talk to him" Kelsey said

"No" I protested he has been threw enough tonight I wasn't about to make him talk about what had just happened "give him time he will tell us eventually"

Chad stormed into the other room the close by bathroom door could be heard slamming. God what was his problem? This was not turning out to be a good night or a good trip for that matter. People where dropping like flies. No doubt Ryan would wake up tomorrow and want to leave as well. Ugh

"This is a lot to handle" zeke said "I just can't believe it"

I could totally understand where they were coming from I mean I had always known Ryan was gay he was a lot more flamboyant then most other guys and I am his twin but I have to say that when I found out troy was also gay I was shell shocked for a while to say the least.

"So I guess that means they where together?" Jason asked "I mean it would explain the scene at the wheel" leave it to Jason cross to point out the completely obvious

"Yeah" Kelsey said "they are together or yeah where would be a better way of putting it"

"Wait he and Gabi only broke up last Saturday how could they have been together?" Taylor asked.

This was something I wasn't looking forward to telling them being Ryan's sister any way I could help Ryan look less like a home wrecking monster I would take it but it was going to be hard with this.

"They had been seeing each other before" I said "since Denver"

"But they where still together…oh I get it" Taylor said "how could they do that?" she said angrily now "did they not have any respect for her feelings I know for a fact that Gabi loves troy"

"Ryan didn't want to" Kelsey said " he told me the first time it happened that he didn't want it to happen like this he didn't want to be that mind of person but they loved each other"

"That's no excuse" she said

"Is it not?" I asked " Ryan has been in love with troy since he was in the 3rd grade just what would you do if you found out the person you loved felt the same way… he wanted to wait till we got back he really did and I know that part of the reason he is so hurt is because he turned his back on his morals for someone who just walked out on him for no fucking reason so excuse me if he the reason is not good enough for you Taylor but I am not going to sit here and let you villainize my brother when the person who is equally if not more to blame gets off Scott free"

I was so over this it made me want to throw myself from the window how much they all looked up to troy. Once again the golden boy goes untouched while someone else is blamed for his stupidity. I was not going to let his fan club make Ryan the bad guy.

"I agree with sharpay" Jason said to my surprise "Ryan is hurt and where is troy? Troy's gone with all of his stuff without so much as a note at least we got that form Gabi"

"No sharpay as much as I agree that Ryan is not to blame I can't agree with you blaming troy not until we know what happened" Kelsey said.

"I just don't get it why would he do this why would he leave?" Taylor said." No wonder Gabi left"

"I don't think she knew" I said

"She knew all right… she became a different person "Kelsey said

"I did notice that" Taylor said. "This would be a lot more insightful if Ryan could tell us"

"I know" I said "but for now I think he just needs his time"

I made my way over to my bed and plopped down. Poor Ryan.

Ryan p.o.v

My eyes felt so heavy like I was tired but I couldn't sleep. I still didn't understand what had happened tonight. We where so happy how could we not be? We where together at last without the guilt, We where goanna come out and tell everybody but then it's like he changed. Why? What brought this change of heart on?

I guess part of me knew that this would happen that he would see what he was giving up in order to be with me. I couldn't blame him if I tired. I just wish I wasn't so stupid. Now everyone new well at least they knew that I was gay knowing them they all thought that's why troy left because I tried to kiss him and he freaked out.

There was another knock at the door this was the fifth one so far. I stood up from the ground and wiped my eyes clearly this wasn't going to end so I might as well just come out with it. I unlocked the door and was completely caught off guard when I saw who it was coming into the small bathroom. Chad entered and shut the door again locking it and sat on the toilet seat.

"Hey"

I didn't say anything returning to my seat leaning against the bathtub. It's like I had lost my ability to talk after what happened.

"Listen I'm sorry" he said looking down at me.

"Why?" I asked. I truly didn't understand what he had to apologize for he didn't to anything.

"For being such a dick to you" he said "I thought you were trying to steal my best friend and I thought he was trying to replace me… I was stupid I should have realized what it really was"

I grunted and let out a small laugh "were we really that obvious?"

"Maybe, I guess I just never wanted to believe it"

"Yeah I guess it would suck to have a gay best friend" I said sarcastically. I was in no mood to have this talk and I was wondering why I had even opened the door to begin with… I guess I was hoping it would be troy. How desperate could someone get?

He sucked his teeth "it has nothing to do with him being gay he can be the gayest guy in… gay …town" he said. Wow how intellectual "the reason I didn't want to believe it was because we share everything he is like my brother and I don't even know who he is because he never told me, I thought I would have been one of the first to know but its clear that I have to find out from your sister and Kelsey that my best friend kept just about the biggest thing in his life from me"

I was surprised to here this come from Chad in all the years I had known him I never thought he could be so deep and in all of my self pity I couldn't help but feel bad for him. "I'm sorry" I said

"Don't be…I'm not the one he left crying in a crowded street" he said plainly "speaking of which?"

I knew this was coming the inevitable moment of truth "what we where doing sneaking around being with each other pretending it's not something I do often. Contrary to what people think I am not my sister"

"I learned that last summer" he said putting a hand on my shoulder.

" I felt horrible for what I was doing to Gabi and I tried to make her the bad guy but I couldn't ever see past the lies and cheating and I let it eat away at me and I didn't understand how troy could sit there so careless about her feelings and how bad she was taking it and I don't know what it was but I guess tonight it just hit him he realized what I have been feeling all along and what he was giving up to be with me and it was all just to much for him"

"So he left"

I realized that while I was talking I had started crying again. "I knew that this was goanna happen… I was just an experiment" Chad moved to sit beside me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder.

"Hey…" he said but I only looked away the last thing I needed was someone telling me he wasn't worth it because in reality he was. "Listen I don't know what you thought this… I don't know relationship was but I can tell you now that I have ever scene troy look at anyone the way he looks at you sometimes not even Gabi"

"Really?" I asked

"Yeah" he said smiling "so don't give up on him because if I know troy he had a good reason for leaving as hard as it may be to hear"

"I don't know" I said biting my lip.

"Just let him figure stuff out he will realize soon enough" he said standing up.

"What will he realize?" I asked

"That's for him to know but whatever it is I'm sure it will be for the best" and with that he left me sitting on the floor in the bathroom with nothing but my thoughts. How was I supposed to believe that? He had left without giving a reason and only leaving my mind to wonder why and I was just supposed to trust that time would heal my wounds… well isn't that what I expected of Gabi. God I was so selfish, here I was moping about being left behind when I was completely careless as to how Gabi was feeling after everything that happened. Troy left her behind and I didn't care at all about how horrible she must have felt all I could care about was how much of a bitch she was to me. if it where me in her position I would feel awful and hate the person whose fault it was how could I hate her for only doing what anyone would do in this situation?

"How the hell did you get in there?" I heard sharpay say from the room

"I knocked" Chad said and I could see him rolling his eyes and my sister sneering in my head and I couldn't help but smile. Chad was right god I was he was wrong but he was right.

"How dare you harass my brother" she said.

I got up and left the bathroom. The room went silent as everyone looked at me. "He wasn't harassing me" I said smiling at Chad. He smiled back and winked. It was time for me to tell the truth about everything.

A/N

for all of you who think that this story is goanna end soon dont worry there are at least 5 or six chapters left and for all who thoght chad was a dick who wanted top get with gabi well there you go... the next chapter has alot of troy in it even though he is not on the trip and oh yeah the return of gabi... so i hope you liked this chapter and iu hope to see some new reviews :D


	16. Depression

**highschool musicals story and its actors do not in any way belong to me i am just useing them in my awsome kick ass story they belong to the evil empire that is disney etc.**

Troy p.o.v

I sat impatiently in the back of the cab as it drove me to my destination. I had done a lot of stupid stuff lately but the one stupid thing I couldn't stop thinking about was what I did last night on that wheel. God how could I have been such an idiot? Ryan was right we could have left together we could have faced this together but instead I left him alone to fend for himself wondering what he did wrong. He didn't do anything wrong. He is so perfect. I love him so much but I guess part of me felt that doing this was for the best. I didn't deserve him.

And the worst part it I didn't listen to him, he said how uncomfortable he was with all of this but I didn't do a thing I didn't care as long as I had him everyone else would just take a back seat. He was right and how can I say I deserved him if I couldn't even see past my own wants and needs to see how uncomfortable it all made him feel. I am such a jerk… and now that I have left him alone, god I don't even want to think about how he feels right now.

The taxi stopped on the side of the street in front of a house and I got out and just looked at the place I was heading. All of my stuff was at the motel near the airport just incase things didn't work out and I was told to leave. But weather it was a waste of time or not I had to do this not just for her but for myself.

I knocked on the door not sure what I was expecting to happen. I waited patiently till the door opened to reveal the beautiful black haired girl I was looking for. But as soon as she saw me any trace of a smile was gone.

"What are you doing here" she said

"I think we need to talk Gabriella"

"I have nothing to say to you so just go home go be with Ryan it's what you want"

"Gabi please" I said tearing up.

Gabi was about to shut the door stopped and looked at me "what happened?" she asked moving towards the bench on her porch.

"I I'm so sorry" I said crying.

She didn't say anything and I didn't blame her what I had done was unforgiveable.

"Troy what did you do?"She asked

"I hurt you" I said into my hands "I led you on and I got your hopes up and I didn't love you and even worse I fell in love with someone else all behind your back and I am a monster for it"

Once again she remained silent and I sobbed into my hands "even if you hate me even if you never want to talk to me for the rest of my life I had to come I had to make amends…I'm such an idiot"

"yeah you are" she said "but not for breaking up with me and not for being in love with Ryan troy but for the way you did it" she said putting a hand on my shoulder "and I cant blame you for how it turned out because a lot of it was me not being able to accept that fact that you where gone"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Troy I'm not stupid I knew you were gay I saw it for a while but I guess I just didn't want to believe it because I loved you so I pushed Ryan away when I saw the affection in your eyes for him. You never had eyes like that for me troy ever not even when we started dating and it hurt not because you were betraying me because you weren't but because the boy I loved could never feel the same" by now she was also crying. "I don't blame you or Ryan for loving each other what kind of person would that make me?"

"I thought you would hate me" I said

"I could have but I have had time to think and if we had stayed together longer we would end up hating each other anyway at least this way one of us can be happy"

"I want you to be happy I fell like such a horrible person doing this to you" I said

" troy the fact that you came all the way across the country to apologize to me even though you could have gone the rest of your life never seeing me again being happy proves that you are not only not a horrible person but one of the best people there is" she said smiling at me. "The best ones are always gay"

I laughed it was the first time I had smiled since driving the bus with Ryan yesterday afternoon. Ryan… it's safe to say last night was the worst sleep of my life. How I was ever going to sleep alone without him again was beyond me.

"And don't worry about me I mean its university right?" she said "I'm bound to find at least few nice guys"

"Yeah" I said completely spaced out. Obviously she noticed my state of day dream and put her hand on my arm.

"Did you leave the trip troy?"

I nodded my head but didn't say anything "why did you leave?"

"To come here"

"You could have done that any time troy you didn't have to leave"

"I had to Gabi I did a lot of bad stuff and I couldn't lie anymore" I said "I had to set things right"

"By setting things right with me you might have created a whole bunch of problems with everyone else and the worst part it you left Ryan there to fix it all"

My heart sank at the mention of his name "I don't deserve him"

"Dose he feel the same?" she asked "something's telling me the answer to that question is a no"

I didn't say anything… once again I had screwed up it seems it is all that I am good at these days. Once again I thought I was doing something right and it only turned out to be wrong again in order to fix one problem I caused about ten more. I left Ryan in the middle of a street crying that he loved me pretty much outing the both of us. Leaving him to answer everyone's questions while he was in a complete state just so I could get the guilt off of my chest.

" love makes you do crazy things troy trust me I would know what that's like but if you love him then what are you doing here?" she said " go back"

"I cant I don't know where they are they left Niagara falls today and I don't know where they were going next"

"Then find out"

"Ok" I said getting up and looking at her "I really am sorry Gabi "I said and began to walk away.

"Um wild cat? where the hell are you going?"

"Back to the motel" I said stopping

"Um no your not" she said "I have a guest room"

XxXxXxX

Ryan p.o.v

We didn't dwell in Niagara Falls as cool as it was and as much fun we could have had here no one really wanted to stay that long even if the drinking age was only 19…but then again no one really felt like drinking. As assumed everyone was still a little bit shocked by what they had found out about me and troy some took it better then others Taylor didn't take it well at all and I couldn't blame her Gabi was her best friend after all but that didn't mean she hated me. After I reviled everything it was decided that the trip would continue to new York then after that we would go home and spend the rest of are summer doing whatever we wanted.

So now we where in the road on are way to NYC and all I wanted to do was get home the one place I never thought I would want to be. it had always been my dream to get out of new Mexico to get away from there and out on my own for once away from what I have known all my life to have my own adventure and now all I wanted to do was go back the irony was almost to much to bare.

"Ryan is you ok?" Kelsey asked putting her hand on my shoulder as we all sat around in the living area of the Winnebago. I was beginning to get tired of being asked that question.

What kind of question was that of coarse I'm not ok my boyfriend broke up with me and took off and now I am stuck on a bus with a bunch of people that will never trust me again because I lied to them about who I was and then lied to them about who I was seeing and it all came out in the worse possible way at the worst possible time and I had to deal with everyone of there different reactions alone without the help of half of the party involved so no I am not ok to say the least.

"Yeah I'm just tired" I said forcing a smile "I didn't get a lot of sleep last night"

"I don't blame you" Chad said smiling genuinely at me.

"Go have a nap then" sharpay said. "I'll come wake you up when we stop"

"Thanks" I said getting up and heading to my bunk. I don't know what the point of driving a bus across the country was if we where never going to stay in it. But at times like this I thanked the gods that we where on this bus instead of a tiny car I don't know how I would be able to survive.

My head hit the pillow and my mind began swimming with the whole reason I didn't get sleep the night before. I didn't have troy lying beside me. That made all the difference in the world for some reason. But after about five minutes my eyes grew heavier and I drifted off to sleep

XxXxXxX

"Baby wake up" said an all too familiar voice as his hands grazed my arm.

"Troy?" I asked wiping my eyes and looking at him. Was he really here? Did he come back to me for real or was my mind playing tricks on me?

"I'm here" he said smiling down at me "I'm not going anywhere"

I grabbed him around the neck and pulled him down on top of me and pressed my lips to his. He kissed back parting my lips with his tongue. I bit his upper lip and he let out a loud moan. I could get high off of the sound of his pleasure and the fact that it was me causing him that pleasure was beyond any feeling. I could feel the motion of the bus moving down the highway but I didn't care this was too good to be true.

Troy's hands traveled down my body to my hips as he grinded his erection into mine. "I missed this" he said into the kiss "I love you so much… but its time to wake up"

My eyes shot open and I was lying in my bunk alone. Great now my dreams where conspiring against me as well. God I wish that all really happened but of coarse when do I ever get what I want. Did he ever really love me or were they just empty words. Meaningless like I was. weather it was the truth or not there was one thing I knew for sure and that was no matter how little I meant to him even if he didn't love me. I love him. God did I love him.

Sharpay p.o.v

I watched my brother wake up restlessly with a look I had scene before. The last time he had gone into depression was when Gabriella moved to Albuquerque he didn't eat he didn't sleep and he constantly had that distant look in his eyes that I began to see again last night. Before her troy had never dated anyone. So to say my brother was heart broken when he met Gabi was an understatement. But that is nothing to what was about to come, the first time it was because the boy he loved found another this time I don't think it would be so easy to get Ryan out of it . He had troy he believed that troy loved him and he put everything he was into that and lost it. All because of troy Bolton….

A/N

jesus theres p.o.v's all over the place... so like i said about five chapters left if i estamate corectly and the next chapter ahd some confrontation in it but who it is between i will not reval because i am a meanie but i hope you liked this chapter that was abnormaly shorter then the others but dont worry the next one will be longer i promise now have about some reviews for my amazing chapter :D


	17. Long distance

**highschool musicals story and its actors do not in any way belong to me i am just useing them in my awsome kick ass story they belong to the evil empire that is disney etc.**

Sharpay p.o.v

It was our third day in New York and it seemed like Ryan wasn't even trying to have a good time I mean I couldn't blame him but that didn't mean I was happy about it. Yesterday we went to see wicked on Broadway and he didn't even sing along to defying gravity he always sings along to defying gravity. I get it he was heart broken but this needed to end. Sometimes I wish Ryan could be like me and daddy, cut throat and thick skinned. But instead he got mothers kindhearted nature and sensitivity. I wore my heart under a bullet proof vest while he wore his on his sleeve. All I knew is that it was time for a talk.

I got out of the bathtub in our hotel room and put a towel around myself and then walked out into the room.

"Whoa can you warn a guy before you come out like that?" said Chad shielding his eyes in mock horror. I just glared at him before putting on my pink bathrobe and jumping onto the bed with zeke. The group of them were watching some mob movie and I couldn't help but think it was sad. Is that all we could find to do at 9:00 pm in New York City were we that hopeless?

As usual Ryan didn't join the others in watching the movie but instead stayed in the other room away from everyone else.

"Has anyone talked to my brother today?" I asked

"I tried but he just ignored me" Kelsey said shrugging while flipping threw a magazine.

"Same" said Chad "I think he just needs time"

"I'm going to talk to him" I said getting up only to have my arm held back by zeke.

"Shar just give him time" he said "if he wanted to talk he would come to you"

"I think I know my brother a little more then you do zeke" I snapped at my boyfriend. How dare he tell me what I could and couldn't do with my own brother. I pulled away from his grasp and entered the joining room to find my brother reading a book. Yeah as if like he could read a book in his state.

"Hey" I said sitting down on the bed next to him. He didn't answer. Great he ignored all of our friends and now he was going to ignore me? How was anyone supposed to know what was wrong with him if he never told anyone?  
I stayed silent but seated next to him. He knows as well as I do that I could be just as stubborn. I looked around the room and patted my hands on my bare legs which caught me a glare from Ryan. Ok let's see how far I can take annoying him before he cracks. I picked up his cell phone off of the nightstand he hated me going threw his texts and calls but he didn't ever stir when I flipped it open and began scanning. 44 missed calls? Jesus I didn't know Ryan was that popular. I clicked on one of them and saw who it was … you mean to tell me that troy had called him 44 times and Ryan didn't even pick up.

"Ryan are you aware that troy has called you 44 times in the last 24 hours?" I asked

"Reading" he said in annoyed tone.

Ha like he was really reading.

"Yes that would explain why you still haven't mastered the first page" I said rolling my eyes.

He didn't say anything and I was beginning to lose my patience with him. It's like he was choosing to be miserable instead of happy. I mean clearly troy wanted to talk to him apologize to him perhaps but I wouldn't count on that working out to well and yet here he sat silent and tragically alone by his own choosing.

"What do I have to do Ryan?" I pleaded

"you could go away" he said. Ugh I hated when he got like this and I hated troy for making him this way. Was this how he was going to spend his last summer before collage cooped up in a room distraught? And what about after that both he and troy were going to Berkley would he constantly see him and be reminded of what could have been? god its like the sea of sadness was endless he would forever go on knowing that he had lost his love and be reminded of it for the next four years of his life if not more assuming they both decided to stay on the west coast. Oh poor Ryan.

"Fine I will leave you for now but you just call me if you need anything" I said getting up from the bed.

"Will do sis" he said without emotion before I left the room.

I made my way to my suitcase and pulled out my pj's before going back into the bathroom. I locked the door and then pulled the cell phone out of my bathrobe pocket. This is a lot easer with Ryan's phone then it would be with my own I mean he wasn't even answering Chad's calls so why would he answer mine" but one things for sure troy would definitely pick up Ryan's calls shame it wasn't going to be Ryan calling.

Troy p.o.v

I had spent two nights at Gabi's and left early this morning to go home there was no scence in me staking out at her house on the west coast when Ryan was all the way on the east coast. So now I was on a 17 hour bus ride back to New Mexico. It made me realize that my parents didn't even know that I had left the trip. Well what they don't know won't hurt them.

I had called Ryan so many times today and yesterday and he never picked up. I felt so helpless on this bus like there was nothing I could do. I mean there really wasn't I still had seven more hours left on this bus. I couldn't help but kick myself for flying all the way to California. Looking back it may not have been the best idea. I had spent almost all of my spending money for the trip on that flight and the rest of it went to a ticket for this bus. Maybe I should have let my parents in the loop so they could have bought my ticket home.

My eyes got heavy and I was just about to doze off when I herd the sound I had been hoping to here all day. It was cheesy but Ryan had made his ring on my phone when you wish upon a star from Pinocchio he said it sort of went with the theme of our relationship what with us both wish the other felt the same and it just sort of happened. I couldn't help but smile thinking back on it. But not to long cause I was looking too forward to this call.

"I thought you were never going to pick up the phone" I said into the phone relieved.

"Sorry to burst you bubble troy but it's not Ryan" said a girls voice threw the phone.

"Sharpay?" I asked a little caught off guard.

"Yeah shame isn't it I can almost picture your face right now"

"Why are you on Ryan's phone" I said ignoring her comment.

"I wanted to know what you had to say to my brother that was so important that you called almost fifty times long distance to say?" she said smugly.

I didn't respond at first not really knowing what to say. As much as I should have realized that it wouldn't be Ryan I was really hoping it was at the moment cause off all the people to talk to sharpay was one of the last. But I suppose she knew that what with her stealing Ryan's phone.

"Troy it's not a rhetorical question" she said into the receiver.

"Sorry I just I would rather talk to Ryan you know?" I said

"Sorry but were all out of that flavor" she said and I could see the shit eating grin gracing her face.

"Glib as ever I see"

"Yes but unfortunately that is a luxury you don't get to partake in so talk" she said

"I just wanted to know were you guys were I wanted to come back, set things right" I said

" troy there is no coming back you left him here thinking that he did something wrong thinking that you didn't love him and now four days later you call wanting to come back well to bad" she said.

"Sharpay I made a mistake" I said defending myself.

"Yeah that's the understatement of the year "

"You know what fine I get it I'll stop bothering you" I said about to hang up the phone.

"no wait" she almost yelled then lowered her voice "listen I'm sorry its just you broke his heart and left him here to deal with everything on top of his own struggle of losing you he had to tell your friends about everything and deal with what they had to say about it when in reality these are things that you should have been responsible for"

"I know" I said frowning.

" no see I don't think you do troy" she said " if there is anything I know about my brother its that he doesn't put a lot of faith in things like love yet for some reason he fell hard for you… he fell in love with you troy"

"I fell in love with him to" I said almost in tears

"Then why did you leave him why did you break his heart?" she asked.

"I don't know" I said

"Then how do you expect Ryan to forgive you if you don't even know why he should?" she said. The truth of the situation set it. for the last few days I had had my mind set in fairy tail mode were I thought that I could find him and we would end up together again but now reality was setting in and the horrible possibility of never holding him never kissing him or telling him I loved him again became all to real. I began to feel sick to my stomach and I no longer wanted to talk to her.

"I…I don't"

" we are leaving in two days troy and then we are coming home if you figure it out by then you know were we live" she said and then the line went dead. Well at least now I had something to occupy my mind for the next six and a half hours.

Sharpay p.o.v

I hung up the phone just knowing that Ryan was going to be pissed if he knew. But it had to be done. As much as I hate troy right now I know that the only way Ryan will be granted happiness again is if he and troy get back together. Any doubt Ryan had about troy not loving him was confirmed. Troy did in fact love Ryan there was no doubt about that.

I changed out of my towel and robe and then I left the bathroom droping the phone into Ryan's messenger bag which he had hanging over a chair. I collapsed onto the bed next to zeke who I was still pretty ticked at and no one had any idea that I had gone into the bathroom to do anything else except change clothes. About an hour ago I wanted nothing more then to go do something now I was completely content with just sitting here doing nothing. Now all I wanted to do was go home and hope that everything worked its self out.

"I'm sorry babe" zeke said nuzzling his head into my neck and kissing me "your right it wasn't my place"

I kissed him on the lips and smiled at him "its ok I think he dose just need time"

"How is he?"

"You know what I think he just wants to get home" I said sighing "it's been a long trip"

"That's true it really has" he said draping his arm over my shoulder "maybe we should just call it off early and take off tomorrow"

"My thoughts exactly" I said smiling deviously.

A/N

ok so we are getting somewere arent we. next chapter we will here more wise words from mother bolton and troy comes out to his father o_O

i know right so much cool stuff going on in the next chapter i want to post it now but psh like this is going to happen right? well i hope you enjoy reading it as much as i like writeing it

because if you dont i might get sad and start crying and you will all feel bad and it just wont be pritty so yeah... REVIEW! :D


	18. It's a mother son thing

**highschool musicals story and its actors do not in any way belong to me i am just useing them in my awsome kick ass story they belong to the evil empire that is disney etc.**

Troy p.o.v

I woke up in my own bed for a change but that didn't make me feel all that much better. I had gotten to the bus station at just passed midnight and took a cab home. Once I got there I had to climb threw my window. I didn't bother waking my mom and dad up to tell them I was home they would find out in the morning and the less pissed off they were the better. I looked at the clock 7:55 ugh another almost sleepless night. I guess it didn't matter were in America I was I was bound to toss and turn until I saw light.

I got up and made my way down the stairs bracing myself for the lecture I was bound to have coming to me. I walked into the kitchen to find only my mom sitting reading the paper and sipping on a mug of coffee.

"Hey mom" I said coming into the kitchen biting my lip in nervous anticipation of what she was getting ready to say. To say I was surprised when she took another sip of her coffee before looking up at me and smiling was an understatement.

"Hey honey" she said patting the seat beside her at the table "come sit"

I just stood there for a minute wondering if she had gone completely crazy or had hit her head. No she seemed to be the same old mom I knew and loved. Then she was up to something she thinks she can just act all nice for now but she had something up her sleeve my parents always had ulterior motives. Which reminded me where is dad?

"Well are you going to come sit?" she said

"Uh yeah…" I said walking towards the table still a little shocked. "I uh thought you would be a little bit more surprised"

Her brows furrowed as she looked at something in the newspaper. I rolled my eyes and snapped my finger in her face to get her attention. She looked at me and smiled sweetly. Yeah there is evil behind that smile I assure you.

"Sorry ground beef is on sale this week" she said

"Mom… you mean to tell me that I come home in the middle of the night and you have nothing to say about it" I asked impatiently

"What would you like me to say troy" she said giggling "I'm not very surprised you came home"

I looked at her oddly "why not"

"Because I knew something would happen" she said taking another sip of her coffee "I assumed right I suppose?"

"Yeah" I said. God nothing ever gets by my mother

"So did you want to talk about it or do you just want to move on?" she asked.

I didn't really know if I wanted to I mean under any other circumstance I would have been yelled at and then interrogated under punishment of grounding but now she was acting completely nonchalant about everything and it was kind of odd. I wasn't used to this kind of freedom. But as usual as soon as my mom stopped forcing me to talk about stuff is the time I needed someone to talk to. God irony is just not on my side these days. But before I spilled my guts to my mom I needed to make sure I there wasn't going to be any unwanted interruptions example… my father.

Its not that I didn't want to tell my father I really did but at the moment he still didn't know about me being gay and I had come to the conclusion that it would be better left said once I was in collage so I wouldn't have to walk around on eggshells at home and it was a decision that my mom surprisingly agreed with.

"Where's dad?" I asked

"He is coaching a summer basket ball program for kids under 12 at the y.m.c.a this summer" she said

"He's never done that before" I said

" yes well with you and the guys gone all summer he had no one to play with so he thought he would put his hobby to good use" she said smiling " but enough of that for now you were about to tell me why you came home"

"Uh yeah" ok here goes moment of truth "I um I screwed up mom" I said looking down at the placemat on the table.

"How?" she asked understandingly

"I found out some stuff about Ryan" I said "I found out that he likes me" I looked at my mother waiting for a response but she didn't say anything and then gestured for me to continue. I knew that when my mom didn't have anything to say she was thinking and thinking wasn't always good when it came to these conversations.

"And I did a really horrible thing to Gabi" I said not sure if I wanted to tell my mom but she caught on to that.

"Troy" she said grabbing my hand and giving it a tight squeeze "as your mother I am always bias in your favor so whatever it is you did you will not find judgment from me"

Well now that that was settled "I didn't break up with her when I found out" I said "Ryan wanted to wait till we got back before we pursued anything together but I was greedy and didn't think about the consequences of my actions I couldn't resist"

She nodded as a spoke never taking her hand from mine "then in Minneapolis me and Gabi got into a fight in the middle of the mall and we broke up and for the first time in a while I was happy I no longer had to fake loving her and I had Ryan"

"It sounds like there's a catch" she said sipping more of her coffee.

"Ryan felt awful about how everything ended and I didn't understand why" I said "he said that even though he and Gabi hated each other it didn't make what we had done to her right and I didn't get it how could he not be happy we had each other and no one else would come between that" I looked down at the table again and sighed. "Then I started to think … and it brought me back to a conversation we had about it"

She nodded but didn't speak.

"I was so caught up in doing what was right for me that I ended up being a like the people you talked about all those months ago. I was no better then the cheaters and liars and it hurt to know that I had been so careless about the people I claim to care about and the worst part is Ryan tried to tell me he tried to show me and I just brushed it off as him over analyzing the situation" I said beginning to tear up

"and how can I say I deserve him if I didn't even realize how much it hurt him I didn't even care what he was feeling I couldn't look past my own greed and by the end I couldn't even look at him without thinking of how much of a jerk I had been so I left and flew to California"

"You flew to California?" she said shocked and almost yelling that was the disappointment I was expecting earlier.

"I had to see Gabi I had to apologize even if she didn't want to here it I had to do something" I said

"I see" she said looking down and fiddling with her thumbs yet another sign that she was thinking she never said anything without first thinking it threw that's why she was so smart " and what's worse is that you may have caused more problems by leaving to find atonement"

" yeah its like I cant stop screwing up if I stay and I will have what I did on my conscience I leave I may lose the one person who means more to me then anything else its like I'm dammed if I do and I'm dammed if I don't" I said frustrated clenching my fists.

"What did Ryan do when you left him?" she asked

"Cried and chased me but I couldn't look at him I was to ashamed of myself"

"But he wasn't ashamed of you troy he loves you that much is clear from him trying to make you stay, he loves you more then you think"

"Correction he loved me" I said sucking my teeth "he probably hates me now because I left him they all probably hate me now I just wish I knew what to do mom"

She sighed

"What should I do?" I asked

"as your mother I am entitled to tell you what to do" she said smiling at me "until there comes a time were you are old enough to make your own decisions… that is why I didn't question your being home early from the trip because you have reached that age were you no longer need me to tell you what to do"

"But I need your help I don't know what I am going to do I need you to tell me that everything will be ok and that I can work it out"

"Ahh but I can't" she said once again putting her hand on mine.

"Why not?"

"Because when the day comes that a mother no longer tells her son what to do the son can no longer come to the mother with his bumps and bruises and ask her to kiss them better. You are your own man now troy and I'm not always going to be there when you have a problem in Berkley its time for you to deal with your problems and fears by your own influence instead of those of your fathers and my own" she said "this is something that you only know the answer to"

"So what?" I asked "dose this mean we will never talk about are problems with each other anymore?"

"Of coarse we will… it just means that you will no longer find the answers from me but instead you will find them here" she said putting her hand over my heart and smiling

"Thanks mom" I said with a smile stretching across my face one of the first real ones I had had since I left Niagara Falls.

"So how did Gabi take it?" she asked nonchalantly yet again. But I knew she had been waiting for this moment for a while. She didn't approve of my relationship as much as she did like Gabi she could never sees us together. Most of that having to do with the fact that I'm gay and she only ever pictured me with other guys. It actually made me think of this one time she told me about her friend from works son who was also gay I think she was trying to set us up but it never really worked out.

"Better then I thought" I said "it seems I'm quite the obvious homosexual"

"So she knew then?"

"Yeah I guess it's hard not to notice the looks I gave Ryan when you are cramped on a bus" I said laughing.

"Well they are your friends Tory how could they not notice when your own mother who you try your hardest to keep out of your personal life can figure it out?" she said also laughing

"What happened to a mother always knows?" I asked rolling my eyes.

" a mother always knows just like I know that you have a bag full of not so nice smelling cloths that you want me to wash and u know that this mother knows that you know that its not happening " she said

I furrowed my eyebrows confused for a second before I finally got what she was trying to say ' all right all right I'm going" I said " clearly being my own man doesn't take the load off of my chores"

"Well seeing as how you are your "own man" she said finger quoting "I thought you could get used to doing your "own laundry"

"Yeah yeah yeah" I said "but you can forget about throwing in dads socks"

"That's nice dear "she said finishing off her coffee which my now must have been cold "and after that you can pick were you want to put the new fridge magnets"

"God sometimes you are like freaky good" I said spooked that she seemed to know I got her fridge magnets for every state I had been in.

"First of all my name is not god and second a mother always knows "she said winking as I walked out of the room.

Yeah a mother always knows.

A/N

so all troy this time. cause in all honesty what could i really say about ryan driveing home from new york all upset so yes there will be another time gap in the next chapter and i will be going back to ryan p.o.v for the first time in i dont know how long what? like two chapters i know its not that much but it is to me so i hope you loved it and i hope to get a few reviews :D


	19. Sad crying hiccupped noise

**highschool musicals story and its actors do not in any way belong to me i am just useing them in my awsome kick ass story they belong to the evil empire that is disney etc.**

4,338 words not including this :D

Troy p.o.v

Another week and a half of spending nights in my own bed didn't get any better. The idea of not getting back with Ryan began to consume my mind. Would I always feel this bad? Will I always go without sleep? Will that feeling in my stomach ever calm? And really who was I to complain I'm the idiot who did this to myself. I just wish I hadn't left. But if I had stayed would it have been better or would I still have felt like shit because of my guilt for Gabi? It seems lately that there is no right answer I was doomed from the moment I kiss Ryan. Its like everything was so simple when I had him in my arms like I had nothing to worry about because it all went away…but it didn't all go away it was still there and I just didn't care it was all masked by my constant want for Ryan.

My thoughts wondered to him yet again the way I had always thought about him before everything went down the tubes. my sexual fantasy's never worked though every time I thought about him like that I remembered his face on the night I broke his heart and my erection would go limp and my eyes would water with sadness for him but also for myself, selfish I know.

My dad was constantly in and out of the house packing his and my moms things into the car. They had decided while I was on my trip that they were going to visit family in Texas but both didn't count on me coming home early so now as to be expected I was being hounded to come with them.

"Troy sweetheart are you sure you don't want to come?" my mom asked as I was lying on the couch flicking threw the many TV channels.

"I'm sure" I said without even looking at her.

She sat down at the foot of the couch abstracting my view of the television. I sighed and sat up to see past her.

"troy its just that you have been sitting around doing nothing for the better part of a week and a half maybe some time with family would be refreshing" she said smiling.

"Mom I'm fine there's nothing wrong I'm just bored"

"Yes and I'm the leading point scorer on the wild cats" she said rolling her eyes. "And if you are so bored why not just pack some cloths and come with us"

"I just don't feel up to driving 6 hours I drove all summer" I said " mom I'm serious all of my friends went on that trip and they aren't back yet so I don't really have much to do" I said lying threw my teeth.

The truth was I didn't know if they were home yet but I was too afraid to call someone. I hadn't heard anything from sharpay since I had talked to her on that bus and frankly I'm afraid to talk to anyone else about the matter. What would they all think of me? What would Chad say? I don't know if I was ready for that. But then again how big of a douche would I be if I waited for someone to come to me. I was the one responsible for all of this trouble I should be the one taking responsibility for my actions. So for now sitting around and pretending I didn't know when they would be home was going to be my excuse for moping.

"All right" she said grabbing my hand in a squeeze "I'm leaving you two hundred dollars for the week…no flights to California" and with that she retreated into the kitchen.

About half an hour later found them piling into my dad's jeep and me waving from the front door till they rounded the corner. Once they were out of sight I made a beeline to the fridge and scoped out any potential depression snack foods to eat. I always thought that eating when you were depressed was a chick flick cliché but obviously it's true because at the moment I was starving and I wanted nothing more then to finish off the whole tub of ice cream. It beats the hell out of starving myself for the whole week and a half I have been home.

An hour and half and a tub of mint chocolate chip ice cream later found me about to doze off. Maybe this was the sleep I was waiting for. But of coarse all good thins must come to an end so it seems. Just as my eyes closed the door bell rang, hearing it made me wish I had ordered food so I wouldn't have to deal with what was sure to be coming and instead rely o the fact that it could be a delivery man waiting at my door.

I got up and dragged my body to the door. Another thing I had noticed about being depressed is that you're whole body seems to go limp when ever you need to do anything like walk or move. I got to the door and opened it and couldn't believe my eyes when I saw a mop of curly hair sitting atop my best friend.

"Well" he said "are you going to let me in or not"

Great he didn't sound impressed. I was definitely in for it now. I gestured for him to walk passed me into the house and then followed him to the living room.

"Were are you're parents?" he asked curiously

"They went to go visit family for the week" I said in a monotone

He raised his eye brow "good" he said before punching me hard in the arm.

"Ow that fucking hurt"

"Good" he said "you're an ass whole"

"Is that all you wanted to say?" I asked "because if it is then the door is right over there"

" no its not" he said angrily " at first I was like why should I go to his house why should I make the effort but I did because how the hell were you supposed to know when we were getting back so I came because I wanted to know what the hell is going on"

"You mean you don't already know?" I asked confused.

"I know enough… I know you left Ryan crying in the middle of Niagara falls I know that you two were together and I know that you broke his heart" he said " I also know that you left your best friend in the dark about the fact that you're gay"

I didn't say anything I didn't know what I could say I mean my head was swimming with things to respond with but I didn't have the willpower it would all end up sad crying hiccupped noise.

"Why didn't you tell me troy?" he asked

"I don't know" I said

"Really troy that's what I get as your best friend?" he asked "we have been together since the beginning before the beginning and all I get is I don't know?"

"I was scared" I said "I was scared you would hate me that you would all hate me" by now I was crying. Was this going to be a normal thing? Me crying every time I have a conversation with someone?

"Well maybe you should have given me a little bit more credit then that" he said sitting down on the couch "like I said we are best friends it would take a hell of a lot more then you being gay to change that"

Once again I remained silent. There are certain things that you just can't follow and the I'm you're best friend speech was one of them.

"But you know… I'm not even angry that you cheated on Gabi because I already knew that you were going to break up with her eventually I could see it falling apart and yeah I was angry that you left me in the dark but I will get over it I already have mostly" he said "but what I am angry about is what you did to Ryan"

I hung my head when he said Ryan's name.

" you hurt him troy more then I have scene anyone hurt" he said " and you know what the worst part about it is?" he bit his lip and his eyes glazed over in fresh tears. "It's that you were the one to do it to him… and It kills me troy it kills me that you could be that kind of person the kind of person that could hurt someone that much"

I began to cry harder as I collapsed into the chair across from the couch. It was all becoming real. Too real, I had spent the last two weeks in lala land hoping that if I waited long enough that it would all just go away and everything would be normal again but I know that it could never be that way. And now in one instant I had lost the person I loved and possibly the friends I have had for so long and the problem is I did it all for the reason of trying to make things better.

Chad wiped his eyes and looked at me "but I still don't understand why you did it, why did you leave him why did you split with out even a note to explain?"

"Because I let it go on to long" I said "I let my self get consumed in being in love with him he was always on my mind so much so that I didn't even realize what I was doing to someone else… I hurt Gabi a lot and I didn't care because I had Ryan and he tried to tell me and I never listened and then its like all of the sudden all of the bad shit I did to Gabi and all of the lies I told you guys it all came back and the guilt was to much"

"So you left?" he asked "you ignored it hoping it would go away?"

" no" I said offended by him drawing to that conclusion but how could I blame him my track record so far speaks for its self " I went to California to see Gabi … I went to apologize"

"Oh" he said frowning

"I left because I couldn't go on with the guilt I was selfish to her and I was selfish to Ryan and I don't deserve to have him"

"I would agree after the shit you put him threw" Chad said" but I think he would beg to differ he loves you troy and only he is the one to determine who he deserves and as far as I am concerned him without you is pretty sucky right now because at the moment he thinks you left because of him because he did something wrong"

"Really?" I asked

"Yeah he thinks that he was just some phase and that he did something to make you realize that you aren't gay after all"

"Oh no "I said hanging my head back "that was the last thing I wanted him to think"

"Well you didn't really help that by leaving in the middle of the night" Chad said

"That's right Chad" I said "stab the knife in deeper" I said

"Well you can't say you don't have it coming" he said crossing his arms.

"Was the punch really necessary though?"I asked

"Yeah it was"

"Really because I can feel it bruising as we speak"

"Well deal with it" he said cracking a smile "would you have rather I gave you a shiner instead?"

"I can't wait till you screw up Dan forth" I said also cracking a smile

"Not goanna happen Taylor has already planed our life together and me screwing up is not in her agenda" he said laughing

"She has an agenda for your relationship?" I asked

"What can I say the woman's efficient?"

"Who would have thought you would be into the smart ones?" I said

"Ha who would have thought you would be gay" he said

"My mom"

"Wait you parents know?"

"Just my mom I actually think she knew before I did" I said

"Yeah that's because you have crazy physic mom" he said

"Unlike your mom who puts up pictures of actors in you're fridge" I chirped back

"Touché" he said laughing "so what are you going to do?" he then asked completely out of nowhere

"I ...I don't really know" I said "I mean in a perfect would I could go to his house climb up to his window and serenade him and everything would be better but that only happens in crappy Disney movies"

"Whose to say you cant?" Chad asked

"Chad" I said

"No… I mean you don't have to sing to him but if you love him which I know you do then go to him go to him and tell him how you feel" he said enthusiastically

"I… don't even know what I would say" I said

" you'll figure it out" he said "I have faith you will"

I sat there contemplating for quite a while all the while Chad studied me. I weighed out the pros and cons of this idea. at best and I mean the very best I go there we talk and maybe we can start all over but at worst he doesn't want to ever speak to me again and I don't know if I will be able to handle that.

"You know what your problem is?" he asked me as if he knew what I was thinking "you are focusing to much on what could go wrong stop doing that"

"But what if he never wants to talk to me again?"

" troy people always say that but they never mean it and Ryan in all the one year me and him have been friends I have learned he is a pretty logical guy unlike his sister" he said " I feel like he wouldn't be the kind to resort to petty picture burning and eating a whole tub of ice cream"

My face got red as I giggled forcefully at that last comment. Chad could never find out about the ice cream.

"I don't know Chad it all just seems to risky"

"Life is full of risks troy" he said

"Ughh but what if he hates me?" I whined

"Your acting like a little girl troy" he snapped "man up go apologize to your boyfriend and be happy"

My eyes widened at this and even he was a little shocked by what he said.

" i9 never thought I would here those words come out of my mouth directed at you" he said " but that's beside the point get out of my house troy and don't come back till you have dealt with this" he said pointing to the door.

"This is my house" I said

"Out Bolton out" he yelled.

I went to the door and put on my shoes while Chad just sat on my couch

"Are you coming?"

" hell no" he said " your parents are gone for the week I think I might stick around all that talk of burning stuff made me want to bbq.

"I think we have steaks in the deep freeze downstairs" I said

"Steak" he said "awesome… should I make you one do you still eat it medium rare or have you began eating it raw marinated in tears and teenaged angst"

"I love how you can make jokes about this in my time of depression"

"Oh get over it" he said heading to the kitchen.

Ryan p.o.v.

There she goes relentless in her effort to be a pain in my ass. God its like really early and all I want to do is sleep not that it has been easy in the past couple of weeks but at least now I was back in my bed after so long of being away from it.

Sharpay kept pounding on my door yelling for me to get up. A normal person would have given up already but not sharpay. It felt like déjà vu thinking about how determined she was. I'm pretty sure I was thinking the same thing the day we left for our road trip. Then I started to wonder why she wasn't just opening the door?

"Ryan" she yelled from behind the door. "Ryan"

"WHAT?" I yelled as loud as I could.

From under my covers I could here the door opening

"Get up" she said

"Do you have any idea what time it is?" I asked

"Ryan its 2 30" she said

"Yeah" I said "that's too early"

"Well mother asked me to wake you we are leaving for the airport in an hour" she said

Oh yeah that's right I had almost forgot about the fact that we were going to California. I actually forgot about everything that had happened last night before now.

I came out to my parents and well there reactions were expected if anything. First my father said that he always figured then clapped me on the back as if he was congratulating me. Then my mother wept tears of joy for some reason going on about how she is so happy I was honest with her. Then she asked if I had a boyfriend which left me in tears before I retreated to my room. But before all of that happened they had mentioned spending the week in California so they could get to know the area around Berkley.

"So have a shower or something mother is having a car pick us up to take us to the jet" she said before leaving my room.

One thing I could be thankful for was that she had given up on trying to talk to me about everything. The only person I want to talk to is the one person I don't have anything to say to. What would I say oh hi troy thanks for breaking my heart? Not likely but that didn't make me any less in need of hearing his voice. Feeling his touch seeing him smile his charming crooked smile that melts my heart.

Oh yeah I would cave in a second and that's why I wouldn't be able to see him it would be too hard knowing he doesn't feel the same.

I reluctantly got up and headed for the bathroom. I turned on the shower full blast and stood there for about forty-five minutes just soaking before I got out. I threw on a pair of sweats troy had given and a black t shirt" and then made my way down to the living room with my other packed bags to were my sister was filing her nails.

I sat down across from her and looked at the TV the high pitched scream was enough to know my sister got a glimpse of me. I looked at her and her hand was covering her mouth.

"Where are you're pastilles?" she shirked "you're fedoras you're designer masterpieces?"

"In my designer suit case" I said "there just track pants"

" ha just track pants" she said " there is no such thing as track pants in this house… how did you even get those anyway?"

"There troy's" I said crossing my arms

"I might just kill him" she said

"I was cold one night and I didn't want to sleep in my boxers so I borrowed a pair of his sweats its no big deal" I said shrugging

"Not only did he break your heart but he broke you fashion sense"

"Shar" I said frowning really not wanting to have this conversation "there all I have"

Her angry expression softened and I saw the sharpay that only I ever got to see. "Ry I love you but that's really pathetic" she said

"I know" I said and it was the truth I mean wearing a pair of god ugly track pants because they belong to the person you love is a little weird actually its borderline psychotic but Its like I had to were them to feel like it wasn't truly over.

Mother walked into the room and gave me an up and down look "ducky don't take this the wrong way but I thought being gay would make you appreciate you fashion sense more" she said smiling none the less.

"That's ignorant mother" sharpay said

"I'm just not feeling well mom" I said

"Oh well that's not good do you want me to call off the trip?" she asked "I can have your father on the phone to tell Ramon to forget about getting the jet ready"

"No I think I'll be fine" I said

"Well in that case let's be off "

My mother made her way out to the front and me and my sister followed suit. We got into the limo as the driver piled our bags into the trunk and half of sharpays into the limo with us. The car started and we left our house behind for the second time this summer.

Troy p.o.v

I got out of my truck parked in the Evans drive and bolted for the door. I still hadn't decided what I was going to do but I was determined to see Ryan. Maybe when I did it would all come together and I would know what to tell him.

There was no answer at first when I rang the bell so I rang it again. Seconds after my second ring there butler Michel answered the door.

"Hello Mr. Bolton I'm sorry but Ryan and sharpay left for the airport about two hours ago is there something you needed?" he asked politely

"Wha… what I mean why did they go to the airport" I asked

"They are on there way to California for the week" he said

It felt like the world around me was crashing down around me. Its like fate was out to get me like I was never going to get to tell him how I felt I was never going to get to say sorry. He was gone he had come home and I could have scene him but I was too late.

"Would you like me to perhaps take a message for them?"

"Uh no I uh I got to go"

I ran back to my car and drove away from the mansion not even wanting to see anything that related to Ryan. How could I screw up again? They had been back two days and I hadn't done anything I had sat around and moped when I could have scene him and I could have fixed things and now he was gone for another week and that was another week he would hate me and another week I would feel like this.

No a week was to long far too long and I couldn't do it. I had already waited and now I had hyped myself up to much too just walk away empty handed. I needed to see him I had to see him there was no way I could go another day without him. At that moment I knew exactly what I needed to do.

So much for no flights to California.

A/N

ah ha for all of you who thoguht it was over... bet you dident see that one comeing... and i am exsited to say that thsi chapter is efing long right? yeah longest so far and i am proud but it is 6 in the morning right now andi am tired yeah lol i stayed up till six towrite this... if thats not dedication i dont know what is. any who i need bed so enjoy and review oh and ususally i tell you waht you are insotre for in the next chapter but i feel like tourtureing you today so you will jsut have to wait and see :D


	20. What the hell

**highschool musicals story and its actors do not in any way belong to me i am just useing them in my awsome kick ass story they belong to the evil empire that is disney etc.**

Troy p.o.v.

I arrived back at my house to find two other cars aside from chards parked on the street. Great now I had to cry in front of everyone. I went inside to find the place empty. I walked to the back door to find a gaggle of wildcats out in the back. Great now I was going to have to explain this to everyone.

"What are you throwing a party?" I said to Chad as I made my way outside.

"That was quick" Chad said as he flipped a steak on the BBQ and ignoring my accusation. "What did he say?"

I collapsed into a chair around my patio table and sighed.

"That bad?" Taylor asked putting her hand on mine.

"We didn't talk" I said

"What why not" Kelsey said surprised "I mean I would have thought Ryan would give you a chance at least"

"He's gone to California for the week with his parents I was about two hours to late in getting there" I said

"Oh" said Taylor leaning back into her chair "we were really rooting for you troy"

I raised my eye brow and looked around at all of the bummed faces. I wasn't exactly expecting to be welcomed back with open arms but here they all were acting like nothing happened acting like they didn't even care that I left the trip or that I was gay even they all seemed completely unfazed.

"I'm surprised you guys are all so chill about what happened" I said

"Yeah well Chad told us everything you're still an ass whole" zeke said "but your our ass whole and obviously you aren't jazzed about the whole situation yourself so who are we to pass judgment?"

"Yeah you're still our friend" Taylor said "what happened between you and Ryan is between you and Ryan and"

"Wow thanks guys" I said blushing. Thank god I have great friends.

"I only have one question" Jason said

"Shoot" I said

"Dose this mean that you're gay?" he asked. The group let out a loud groan and I laughed.

"Yes Jason I am gay" I said

"Nothing get by you babe" Kelsey said patting her boyfriend on the back.

"Wow I never saw that one coming" he said

"Yeah well what can I say" I said really not knowing what else to say. I mean the idea of going into detail about how much I'm in love with Ryan would no doubt end in tears it usually always did and I personally don't want to get into talking about anything to do with it I have had to explain it so many times all I wanted to do was have all of my friends together and have my boyfriend back. It that too much to ask for?

Absolutely but you know me I'm a sucker for the over the over the top plans and dramatic dialogue.

"So what are you goanna do?" Chad asked

"I don't know wait I guess" I said. I mean as much as I wanted to be able to do something I couldn't I was completely helpless to do anything but sit here and wait to get back but in my mind all I could think about was flying across the country to find him. "I don't even know were he is"

"I do" Kelsey said raising her hand.

"And you have been sitting here for how long now?"

"Well what were you planning on doing flying to California?" she asked laughing. I didn't respond but instead bit my lip in contemplation at the idea I mean if I knew were to find him then I could go to him and make every thing better and clearly Kelsey noticed my thinking because any trace of humor was gone "are you out of your mind troy?" she asked "you cant just go to California"

"Why not?" Chad asked "I mean wouldent you if it would fix everything?"

"But we don't know that it will" Taylor said "you could get there and end up never getting the chance to talk to him"

"I don't know right now it seems like my only shot" I said "Kelsey were about is he?"

"He is in Berkley he told me on the trip that the whole family was going to get used to the area" she said

"Ok so lets get are asses to Berkley" Chad said standing up from the chair he was sitting in.

"Um Chad we aren't going" Taylor said grabbing his arm.

"Why the hell not the first trip kind of sucked and my boy is going to need emotional support so I'm in to flying to Cali who's with me"

"Troy I hate to be a buzz kill but wouldn't waiting be the smartest option?" Taylor said trying her hardest to make us see reason but I was way past reason.

" I have waiting for long enough and today I had my head set on seeing him and I couldn't so now I want him even more I cant not go its not an option" I said putting my foot down both in the argument and physically. Everyone looked at me and smiled at my determination I hope.

"Aww our troy's in love" zeke said

"God why are the best ones always gay?" Kelsey said with a long sigh.

I looked at her and blushed and Jason grilled me.

"Hey" he said then looking at her.

"Oh" she said blushing "did I say that out loud?"

"Guys lets get real we do you even have money to get there?"

My heart sunk into my stomach. I hadn't really thought about how I would be paying for this plain ride. Damn you sharpay. I had gotten so used to her buying everything with her dads credit card that I forgot what it was like to have to spend money for myself how much was a flight to California anyway?

"A really cheap flight would cost around two hundred and fifty dollars" Taylor said to no one unparticular.

That's when I realized how I was going to get to Ryan. My mom had left me $200 for the week I mean she may have said no flights to California but she probably wasn't serious I was about fifty dollars short.

"You could fly there on my dads air miles" Kelsey said

"I have two hundred dollars in cash in my kitchen cabinet behind the oatmeal" I said

"I have five hundred for the summer that I saved as spending money" Taylor said finally caving.

"Yes" Chad said victoriously

"Before we get all existed" zeke said "yeah sure we go to California when today tomorrow? and we all spend our money on flying there were do we stay how do we get back?"

"Assuming Ryan and troy get back together…" Chad said

"Yeah but what if they don't?" he asked

Oh great pep talk zeke.

"I'm just saying maybe some of us should sit this one out" he said "we don't really have that much money"

"I'll stay I don't really have a pot to piss in" Jason said

"Well I'm the one with the miles so I guess I'm in"

"I will pay for me and Chad's ticket with my money"

"and I'll use my money to fly there" I said

" no" Kelsey said " I would rather you used my miles to get there I have enough for the both of us and that way at least we have some money incase we have no way of getting home"

"So it's settled you four are going to California" zeke said

"It would seem so" I said

"All of my years as an intellectual are telling me this is a bad idea" Taylor said "but yeah what they hell"

"Yep we're all in this…" Chad said before getting cut off

"Don't even" Taylor said.

Chad looked around expectantly at the rest of us but none of us helped us out. "Sorry Chad but I think that saying is dead like chivalry let it go" I said as we all made are way to my house.

A/N

keah so the longest chapter folowed by the shortest chapter but there is a reason it is so short and thats because i dident really know what else to wirte for it but the next oen will be longer and _ dont hate me but it might be the last chapter... i know sad but it all depends on how long it is but i can say for sure that if it is not the last the one after it will be which is just as sad. but dont worry i am relentless when it comes to tryan stories so there might be another on the way... but for now i hope you liked this shore as ever chapter :D


	21. Confessions of a teenage drama queen

**highschool musicals story and its actors do not in any way belong to me i am just useing them in my awsome kick ass story they belong to the evil empire that is disney etc.**

Ryan p.o.v.

Me and shar sat out by the pool at our hotel. I know that we were there to get to know the area in which I would be living for the next 4 years but at this point I just didn't really care. I was still sad and this trip did little to help me forget. Troy would be here in the fall to. It just made all of the pain come back. How was I supposed to forget about him when everything around me reminded me of him of us of better times? Life just sucks a load some times.

Sharpay fidgeted in her seat beside me. To the untrained eye it looked like she was reading the latest tabloid but in reality she was waiting. Waiting for me to make a move. She knew as well as I did that when I was upset it only took a matter of time till I let it all out and she was usually the ear I did it to but this time was talking longer then it unusually did. And how could it not? I lost… I lost everything. I fell in love with someone and in the end I was left heart broken this is worse then anything I have ever had to deal with before. But I guess there's no better time then a present.

"Do you know what the worst par about it is?" I asked her.

She turned to look at me like I had gown another head.

"What" she asked frowning

"I thought I was smart enough to not let my emotions get the best of me"

Sharpay began to tear up and hoped onto my lounger pulling me into a hug. "Oh Ryan… it's about time" she said smiling at me "are you sure you're ready?"

"Yeah I mean I can't go threw life as a mute" I said

"I can't believe he did this to you" she said "for the last two weeks you have been no better then a vegetable"

"Yeah well love can do that to people" I said

"God help zeke if he ever left me like that" she said.

"I wouldn't want to have to identify the body" I said shivering

"Oh Ryan your back "she said clapping her hands together

"Yeah" I said smiling weakly

"How are you feeling?" she asked noticing how sad I clearly still was.

"I just thought he was different" I said "I mean he was so romantic and loving and I thought maybe he dose love me I actually thought that maybe he was the one"

She nodded her head but didn't speak.

"That's why I never let my heart get ahead of my head because if I hadn't fallen for him I wouldn't have been so broken when it turned out the way I thought it would from the beginning" I said

"Wait but didn't he like call you non stop?" she asked

"For like two days…after that he stopped I guess he realized I didn't want to here his excuses" I said "I didn't want to make the mistake of letting him back in."

Sharpays face twisted into a frown when I said this but I didn't think anything of it.

"I know right he probably stopped calling after he ran out of minutes" I said rolling my eyes.

"No Ryan" she said putting up her hand " I have a confession"

I looked at her confused for a second. What the hell did she mean she has a confession she didn't do anything.

"What is it?" I asked

"I talked to troy" she said looking away "I used your cell to call and I talked to him"

"What" I asked "why?"

"I wanted him to shed some light on the whole situation I mean you weren't talking and no one really knew what was going on except Chad who didn't share anything" she said rolling her eyes " so I called him"

"What did eh say?" I asked not even sure if I wanted to here it.

"He was on a gray hound coming back from California… he had gone to see Gabi" she said

Ok I know that shouldn't hurt seeing as how I sort of saw this whole situation coming but it did. Clearly troy wasted no time in getting back with his old girlfriend.

"That's why he left" she said "so when I called him he thought it was you and that's when I did something really bad"

"What" I asked bracing myself for what was to come. As used as I was to have sharpay get involved with my personal life I wasn't quite sure how I was going to take this even if it wasn't that major at all she hesitated and didn't say anything "sharpay what the hell did you do" I said with my voice raised.

"He asked were we where and I told him not to come looking for you" she said "I told him to wait"

I but my lip and looked away from her. The fact that she didn't tell that she had talked to him was enough to be angry for but the fact that she was the reason why he never even tried to see me never even tried to make contact with me well that was in a whole other ball league. Things could have been different things could have been fixed if she hadn't gotten involved.

"Ryan I'm sorry" she tired.

"I'm going back to the room" I said standing up

"Ryan please" she said also standing up

"I just want to be alone right now" I said walking away.

"He still loves you" she said loudly.

I stopped in my tracks to furious to say anything or even turn around to look at her.

"He told me Ryan he told me he still loves you" she said

I turned around quickly "bullshit" I said

"its not Ryan" she said "he didn't leave because he doesn't love you he didn't use fake excuses or lie to you when he said he didn't think he deserved you he really did feel like crap and that's why he went to Gabi not to get with her because he made a mistake he did it because he felt bad and he left you because he thought he didn't deserve you"

I didn't say anything. Could this be true or was sharpay just trying to redeem herself by filling me with false hope?

" I wouldn't lie to you Ryan" she said " yeah I didn't tell you but I know for a fact that troy loves you he is gay Ryan he didn't make a mistake in falling for you he left for redemption not because he didn't feel for you"

My head was just swimming with things I wanted to say at the moment things I wanted to clear up but before had the chance the buzzing noise came from my pocket and the tickle of the vibration followed as my cell phone began to ring.

"Hello?" I asked into the receiver with out even looking at the caller id.

"Ryan" came an existed girls voice "it's Kelsey you will never guess were I am" she said

"Where?" I asked not in the mood for games.

"I'm in san Francisco" she said

"That's where I am…why are you here?" I asked confused.

"Visiting family with my parents and I remembered you saying you were coming to visit Berkley so I thought it would be nice if maybe we met up" she said

"Kelsey I told you I was coming here before the summer even started"

"I know small world that we are both here at the same time eh" she said letting out a small laugh.

"Yeah I guess" I said raising an eyebrow "why did you call then?"

"I just wanted to know if you wanted to hang out while we are here you know like old times" she said

Was she serious? How odd that she happens to be in San Francisco the same week I came here did she follow me or something. I didn't even know she had family in California. No matter I was mad at sharpay I might as well get some away time.

"You don't want sharpay too do you?" I asked

"No" she said quickly "just you"

"Ok so where about do you want to meet?" I asked

"Six o'clock conservatory of flowers" she said

"Really? The conservatory of flowers?" I asked skeptically "isn't that like sort of …gay?"

"Oh Ryan you're so funny I'll see you at six" and like that the line went dead and I was standing there at the pool wondering what the hell was going on with Kelsey.

Troy p.o.v.

"Wow Kelsey you really sold that one" Chad said sarcastically as we sat in our motel room.

" whatever he is going to show up so what dose it matter how convincing I was" she said " plus I don't thinks he would have come if it was you calling he would think you were up to something"

"I'm just saying for a theater geek you aren't a really good actor" he said

"Aren't you a charmer" she mumbled rolling her eyes.

Even if she wasn't the most convincing she was right about one thing she was the only one who could make this happen. Ryan wasn't all that close with Taylor and if it was Chad calling he would think that I was up to something so Kelsey was my only hope at getting Ryan to meet me. And he couldn't know either because if it was me he wouldn't show up so I had to make sure he doesn't know till the last second when he can't escape. I sound like a crazy person but I can't help it I'm in love with him.

"Ok so you have an hour before he meets you at the conservatory of flowers we will be at a café around the corner just in case something goes wrong do you know what you have to do?" Taylor asked. The girl never let anything go unplanned.

"Yeah" I said

"Do you know what you are going to say?" she asked

"No clue"

"Well that's promising"

"Don't worry" I said "I'll know what to say"

"I hope so" Chad said " I would hate to come all the way to California for you to choke"

"Thanks Chad you have always been there for me" I said sarcastically

"That's me good old reliable Chad"

"Yeah don't quit you're day job" Taylor said earning a glare from Chad.

"Ok its show time" Kelsey said. Leave it to the little composer to include theater references in even the most serious of situations.

Ryan p.o.v

I arrived at the conservatory of flowers in a car my parents had gotten for me. Even though it was only about a ten minute walk they didn't like the idea of me walking here incase I got lost. Crazy I know seeing as how I was going to be living in this city for the next four years but I might as well listen to them now I only have about a month left of doing it.

I walked around looking for Kelsey where she said that she wanted to meet me but couldn't find the girl anywhere maybe she was running late. I decided to sit down on a bench and watch the tourists walk back and forth.

"Ryan?" said a voice I knew all to well. My heat nearly stopped and my face lost all color. Was this really happening? I looked up to find the gorgeous blue eyes of Troy Bolton looking back at me.

A/N

love me love me because i figured out a way to make this story a little bit longer. so this is not the last chapter after all instead of two ling chapters i ahve madeit 3 shorter chapters so two more after this one :D ... will ryan forgive troy will they live happly ever after? you will ahve to wait and see. but something i noticed about this stroy is that alltogh there was mention of him there was no aperance of jack bolton in this stroy at all... weird right? has a tryan fic ever been dnoe witout him? not many i ahve read but aside from the lakc of coach bolton i hope you liekd this stroy and dont worry if yyou think i wont ahve another story once this is done because i will i just love troy and ryan fics so i ahve an idea for a new one a way longer one then this so yeah. but i think i will be discontinueing my last stroy i'm just not feeling it so if you were a fan i'm sorry . but who knows maybe one day i will pick it back up but for now that is not happinging i hope you enjoyd this chapter and i hope you review :D


	22. No place in the world

**highschool musicals story and its actors do not in any way belong to me i am just useing them in my awsome kick ass story they belong to the evil empire that is disney etc.**

Ryan p.o.v.

My heart stopped beating. My throat closed up and I felt as though I was going to die when I saw him. How did he get here why did he come how did he know? Kelsey Kelsey was behind this whole thing? She knew I wouldn't come if I knew troy was here so she lied. I couldn't speak if I tried I don't think much would come out.

"Wh… what are you… how did you get here?" I said or at least I think I did I mean it's what I meant to say but barely any noise escaped my mouth.

Troy stepped forward slowly. "I wanted to talk" he said.

I don't know what it was but for some reason I began to panic. Could this be it could this be the talk? Were my fears will be proven and I will lose troy forever is that why he came? "I cant I… I need to leave" I said backing away "I have to get back to my… I have things I need to do"

"Ryan pleases" he said tearing up "please don't go"

I stopped moving back as he said that. Those words…. The meaning of those words cut threw me like a knife. That night that night that seemed like so long ago even though it wasn't that night flashed threw my memory the night I cried for him not to leave me the night I cried "please do go" I couldn't look at him . All I could feel was the pain of how it felt to say the same words and have the person you are chasseing just walk away.

"Where were you when I begged you not to go troy?" I said

"I'm sorry" he said beginning to also cry. "I'm terrible and I made mistakes and I don't deserve you" his voice raised as he spoke "but I love you Ryan"

"Do you? Do you love me troy because the last time I heard that you left to fly to California" I said. His eyes widened and I nodded "yeah I know troy sharpay told me everything"

"I didn't do it to be with her Ryan I did it for us so I could be with you so I could stop feeling like such a jerk so I could be with you" he said "why can't you understand that?"

"I'm leaving" I said turning around.

"Please Ryan work this out with me I made a mistake" he said walking after me.

"There is nothing you can say troy it's too late" I said wiping my eyes of tears.

Suddenly I felt a hand in my own holding me back I tried to fight it but troy was too strong for me and he pulled me into his arms and held on to me. "If I didn't love you do you think I would be here right now? He said into the said of my face. I was so caught up in the long awaited contact from troy that I didn't realize that I was holding something in my hand that troy had given me when he grasped my hand. I stepped out of the hug and opened my palm to find an arcade game token.

I looked up at him and he met my gaze. Staring into each others eyes is how I fell for him in the first place and now I found myself unable to move. My feet were glued to the spot and my eyes fixed on his. Even if I hated him for what he did or if I just wanted this all to go away I can honestly say that there was no place in the world I would rather be then right here looking into his eyes.

"It's my last one" he said "no more chances so I want to make it count"

I nodded my head. "Why did you do it" I asked in barely a whisper. His faced formed into a grimace as if he didn't like what I had said. "What? What's wrong" I asked wondering why he looked so much more miserable.

" I cant stand seeing you sad" he said" and walking away form you was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do"

"I don't get it troy" I said "why did you have to do it?"

The rage was in my heart but I couldn't carry it to my voice

"Because I couldn't look at you without thinking of the things I had done to her" he said "and I didn't want to think like that any more I wanted to think of you but my mind wouldn't let me stop feeling like shit it wouldn't let me forget"

"Do you think I felt good about what I did?" I asked "do you think that I didn't think about it because I did and we could have done it together but instead you destroyed us to fix it when it could have ended differently"

"I know… that's why I am here" he said "that's why I am here hoping that it's not to late please tell me its not to late"

I didn't know how to respond to that. There was a part of me that didn't believe this was happening. I wasn't sure if he was being truthful and I didn't want to run the risk of taking him back only to be left heart broken again. Another part of me wanted to just get over it and jump into his arms and kiss him and hug him and tell him I loved him but it was such a hard thing to do. and my heart was telling me to do neither because as much as I would love to say I love troy and that we are meant to be I don't even know who he is and how can I be with someone I don't even know.

"Troy" I said "I can't be with you" looking at his reaction I could see that it hurt him to here it as much as it had hurt me to say it. He lost the color form his face and tears began to fall heavier now.

"Why not" he sobbed

"because as much as I want to be… we are strangers to each other" I said "we went from nothing to relationship to quickly we never left enough breathing space and it almost destroyed us both maybe one day we can be together maybe one day but for now I want to know the real troy I need time to heal in order to move on"

"I want to be with you" he said.

"Do you want it enough to wait?" I asked

"I would do anything for you" he said taking his hand and placing it on my face. It felt good to touch troy again even if I couldn't be with him now. I am not like sharpay I couldn't bounce back as easily or forget about the past and maybe that was my downfall but I don't care. I was doing what was best for me and of troy could respect that then it wouldn't take long at all of my wounds to heal. "I can wait" he then said smiling at me.

Me and troy talked for a while about what had happened and explained the things that neither of us knew about such as how troy came to realize he was wrong about Gabi in the first place and the phone call sharpay had made to troy. I would lie if I said I was happy about some of the things we talked about and there was more crying of coarse but in the end we had resolved it to a point were we could be in each others company and not completely breakdown. Which was nice to know because part of me didn't think that we would end up being anything with each other.

"So for the next four years getting to know each other time?" he asked me as we sat on a bench.

"Yeah that would be nice" I said smiling at him. Troy reached over and put his arm around me and pulled me close to him. I felt a little uneasy doing this with him but I didn't push him away. I knew I needed some sort of closure so sitting beside him was okay with me.

"I'm glad I have you back" he said "even if you're not my boyfriend at least I can say I have you in my life"

"I'm glad to have you back too" I said. We sat in comfortable silence just watching people walk by until it started to get dark.

He was the first to stand up and then he held out his hand to pull me up. "Its dark" he said "maybe we should get back to our hotels".

"Yeah" I said smiling "can I see you tomorrow?" I asked

"Of course" he said smiling "I wouldn't have it any other way". He kissed me on the cheek and let go of my hand. "I'll see you tomorrow Ryan" and with that troy turned and walked away.

I watched him walk away form me but this time I didn't feel hurt this time I watched him know that I had chosen to do the right thing.

A/N

ok so this was this is the last chapter of the story but there is an epilogue it is short but its still an ending so jsut bear with me and aside form that i hope you enjoyed this story and if not well then... get out! and for those of you who do enjoy my writings then i am pleased to tell you that i ahve another HSM fic comeing out soon and it is a hell of a lot difrent then this one so yeah... and i ahve allready writen the first ten chapters so that is exsiting and it means you wont ahve to wait long fo updates :D so i hope you lieked it and i hope you will read the epilogue and my new story and aslo the updates will befrequent because school is over not that i dident updare frequently and to my faithfull reviewers thansk for the suport and dont worry maked demon i will make more you dont have to tell me in evrey review :P


	23. It took time

Epilogue: It took time.

Ryan

The rest of the summer went by in a blur, my parents rented a separate sweet at the hotel we were staying at and invited the rest of the group to stay after I found out Taylor, Kelsey and Chad had all flown down with him. It actually made me feel pretty great to know after all of the crappie things I had done and troy had done that they were all still willing to fly back across the country to make sure things turned out well.

Troy took things well considering my vague answer. I was still completely in love with him that I always knew in my heart but I knew I needed time, and it took time. I rarely saw troy the rest of that summer he actually got into a lot of trouble for going back to California after his mom told him not to. It left me feeling empty most days but I dealt with that. I needed this time, Shar and I retook our title at lava springs with a rousing rendition of over the rainbow, it was the first time I had seen troy in over three weeks, we didn't talk but we shared a look from where he sat in the back row.

Come September troy and I didn't become roommates at Berkeley, it was something I always thought about but neither one of us ever acted on it so time left those options impossible. I acted like it was nothing when we would see each other after class sometimes to meet for coffee or see a movie he would sometimes bring it up " it's for the best" I would say nonchalantly

But it killed me.

And then one day as we were walking to our favorite local campus bar I decided to slip my hand into his, he looked at me with this look of pride mixed with relief and pulled me into his arm, it was odd for the people who we had met since starting at Berkley since they had thought of us as only friends but I could sense most of them figured as much. It was slow going and I think that was the way we both wanted it to be. There was no title no talks about what we had become or where we were going. We left out terms of endearment and traded them for chaste kisses, stories of our youth and common interests. We learned in class and out, and before I knew it, it was Christmas holidays and I was home. 

"It's weird" I said as I used the spatula to take the cookies off of the hot trey. " I don't know I guess after that trip we just realized we rushed things and it's like going to school together at Berkeley works because even though we have never been so far away we are closer than ever."

"Ummm ok I think I get it" sharpay said, Taylor and Kelsey laughed at sharpay. "Sorry I just… I asked if you where dating and here we are twenty minutes later after some long diatribe about troy and I still don't know the answer"

"Sharpay let the man figure it out" Kelsey said cheekily. I raised an eyebrow.

"Oh my god you're betting!" I said realizing it. Aside from Taylor and Kelsey most of the wildcats where at u of a, which means they mostly see each other all the time. "Well who's winning then?"

"Well surprisingly Jason" Taylor said sipping from her wine glass.

"Puhh surprisingly?" Kelsey said "he isn't no dummy my man!"

I rolled my eyes at the situation but couldn't stop thinking about troy. I hadn't seen him before I left, but I knew he was home. "Well I guess yeah…. We are dating" it was the first time I had said it and it felt weird to say. But it felt right.

"Are you getting him anything for Christmas?" sharpay asked. She was always thinking about shopping this one. "Because there would be no harm in making the boy dress better."

I had thought about this since our first kiss in the park in October. I wanted it to be perfect and I knew it would be if everything went as planned. "Can you guys keep a secret?" That caught all of their attention.

Troy

I bit my lip anxiously and redialed. It had been a week since being home and I had not heard from or even scene Ryan. Christmas was looming closer and every time I thought of Christmas my eye looked to the bag on the top shelf in my closet. He was going to love it hopefully. But for now I just got the dial tone. Fuck!

For some reason my mom was acting like a gushing fool when I came down stairs that morning. I plopped in the couch and she rushed up stairs, at one point I heard my bedroom door open and I couldn't stifle the eye roll I gave my dad. He laughed from his lazy boy behind his morning paper. Around ten it was as if my mom could no longer hold her excitement any more. And then the door bell rang. My head shot up and she looked at me as if I had just won the lottery but all I thought of was it being Ryan at the front door. I shot up from my seat and rushed across the room my dad looked at me like I was a mental patient but I ignored it. To my shock and disappointment it was not Ryan. But a man in a uniform and as I could see there was a stretch limo parked in front of the house "uhhh hi" I said

"Mr. Bolton?" he asked.

"Mr. what Bolton?" I asked

"Troy?" he then asked "are you troy?"

"Yes" I said still unsure of what was going on. It's not every day a limo shows up at your house.

"Hello troy I'm earl" he said "I will be taking you to meet Mr. Evans"

I was flabbergasted but at the same time a little thrilled. "ry... Ryan sent this?" I turned around only to find my father walking to the door with my duffle bag. "What are you doing?"

"Troy merry Christmas" my mom said gushing with joy.

"Wait where are you taking me that I need to pack a bag?" I said to Carl who took the bag from my dad and smiled walking back to the limo. "Umm hello?" I looked back at my dad and mom.

"Trust me troy this is a good thing" my dad said "and you will be back well before Christmas." My head was swimming. This was all from Ryan and all I had gotten him was… I quickly went up stairs and changed and grabbed the red shiny bag from my closet and dashed down stairs.

"I can't really believe this is happening" I said "what is happing?"

"Sorry troy we can't ruin the surprise" my mom said. They wished me a heartfelt farewell and I got into the limo. I didn't know what to do at first, it was big and there was a campaign bottle sitting in a bucket of ice open for me to drink. I wonder if Ryan knew that when he sent it. I had one glass and then another and then one more and my head felt a little fuzzy. I stuck the cork in the bottle and left it there and not long after that we arrived at the airport, but instead of going threw one of the terminals I was driven all the way up to the plain its self where I was processed and checked to get on the small privet jet. This was all becoming surreal and I was a little skeptical until I saw Ryan emerge from the jet at the top of the stairs. "Hey" he waved smiling. I ran towards him and pulled him into a hug.

"What the hell is all this?" I asked.

He smiled deviously "you'll see" he said getting back on the plain leading me to two comfy seats with a table in between. The flight was a few hours, enough for a movie or two. We chatted mostly about how our family's where and what we had been up to since getting back and then there was a happy moment when Ryan told me about his final mark on an exam he was particularly nervous about, we landed and once again where processed and left from right where we landed in another limo. I found it excitedly annoying that Ryan's father had the power to fly me across America without me even knowing where I am. It was cold so that was a sign we where no longer in the south. I shivered only in a hoodie and Ryan held me in his arms as we sat in the limo.

"Can you please tell me where we are now" I asked "this could be kidnapping"

"Patience" he said smiling slyly.

"Patience was for when I arrived at the Albuquerque airport" I said "now I'm in a cold state freezing my butt off"

"Oh shush you're in a heated limo" he said rolling his eyes. " look… it's been a while since…" he trailed off he still didn't like talking about last summer. " there was one place we went that I knew was special to you" my heart felt like it was going to leap out of my chest. "And it just so happens that this was the place where everything fell apart the first time we…" we locked eyes and I knew where we were now, But I couldn't help but wonder why he would want to come back to a place where I had hurt him so. "I was wondering if maybe we can try again… picking up where we had left off."

I smiled like a fool, a fool in love. We arrived at the hotel this time it only had one big bed instead of two with a joining door. There was a Jacuzzi tub and a view of the falls and it was perfect for this moment for the two of us. We went to dinner and I gave him his gift, it was no trip to Niagara Falls but he loved the fedora and matching scarf all the same. He took off the one he was wearing and put on mine instead while raping the scarf around his neck to keep him warm from the cold air. Then we arrived at the sky wheel, somehow we had both known we would end up here.

"we don't have to ride it you know " I said

Ryan looked at me incredulously" I think we do…" he took my hand ad led I threw the busy square. It was cold but there were still a lot of people riding the sky wheel. We stood in the same line we stood in last time this time there was no doubt or guilt or shame this time it was just me and Ryan with nothing to hide from , and this time we got off hand in hand.

The end

Authors note:

Wow okay I know it's been a while but it's been a crazy last couple of years for this guy

I want to say sorry to anyone who may have waited for this to come I doubt there was many but even still I felt a need to finish this. I re read then story and decided that I needed to finish it and also I think I will be continuing **high school is a jungle** as well with in the weeks to come, with some changes. Thanks for waiting for this and peace and love!


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